The Pope has now apologized for his remarks on Islam. Most voices seem content.
Obviously, the reason that this controversy ballooned so quickly is that it was the Pope who said something about Islam. Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter can go on TV every day and say something careless or stupid about Islam, and no one bats an eye. No one has ever really suggested that they were infallible in any sense. They’re not really fatwa-worthy, when you think about it. When the Pope says something, though, he claims title to speaking on behalf of an entire faith.
OK, then, what about that “infallibility” thing?
Papal infallibility is one of the most widely misunderstood aspects of Catholic doctrine. It is not what a lot of non-Catholics seem to think it is — a license to be wrong for and on behalf of millions of Catholics around the world. In fact, it does not apply to everything the Pope says. For example, suppose the Pope is sitting in your living room one evening, and he looks across the room and asks you if you could pour him a glass from that jug of wine sitting over there; and suppose the “jug of wine” is actually a vase, and there’s no wine in it. If you’re a Catholic, you don’t have to pour him a glass of rancid flower water and pretend he’s right. In fact, I think you would still be within your rights as a Catholic if you politely gave the Pope the name of your optometrist, and then went into the kitchen to find him some wine. But I’m not a theologian or an eye care professional, so don’t quote me on the latter point.
According to official doctrine, the Pope is only infallible when he is reiterating already-established dogma of the Church, or when he is exercising Solemn Magisterium ex cathedra — making official statements from the throne of St. Peter which meet certain established conditions, one of which being that it cannot contradict previous dogma. The last instance which scholars agree upon as being a clear invocation of papal infallibility occurred in 1950, when Pope Pius XII defined the dogma of the Assumption of Mary. After that, there has been no clear use of it by any Pope.
So, even under Catholic dogma, a Pope is capable of making a mistake.
Before he ascended to the Holy See, Pope Benedict XVI was known as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, and in that guise, had received the nickname of “God’s rotweiler.” He had served as prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith and dean of the College of Cardinals. It often takes awhile for a Chief Operating Officer — a position often occupied by rotweilers, though not necessarily “God’s rotweilers” — to grow into the role of Chief Executive Officer. Was the speech at Regensburg a CEO’s speech or a COO’s speech? Pretty clearly it was the latter — it was Joseph Ratzinger, God’s rotweiler, speaking within the comfortable confines of the lab of academia. But a Pope’s words are not so academic. Even if the drift of his message was as correct as anything a Pope can say — that faith and reason are bound together inextricably, and in that bond there is no possibility of a religious use for violence, no matter the religion — the world’s got a hair trigger temper at the moment, and it takes a CEO’s diplomacy to navigate it. If you want to call this an exercise of political correctness, you may if you wish — but the best CEOs know that it is not enough to be right 100% of the time — the market can still kill you if you say the right thing in the wrong way. That is the inevitable consequence of people and ideas banging up against each other in a competitive marketplace. Undoubtedly, in making his apology, the Pope carries this realization, too.
April 30, 2009 at 1:42 pm
AW, couldn’t get on the other one without a hassle. Hope nobody minds our conversation here.
Kara called Rick and told him to come home. She told my Dad she can take anything but hurting the kids. They want their Dad and they’re asking questions and they know something has been wrong. One of the kids asked her why she hated Daddy. She couldn’t handle that.
I thought Nikia was pretty cool until all this. She’s mouthy and a screamer. I didn’t like how she talked to me. I haven’t heard from her. So, now I know she’s stubborn. I’m not calling her. If she thinks I will, she’s in for a surprise because I’m not going to. I don’t know all about her past other than her husband left her because she didn’t want a family right away and he hooked up with someone that did. If she wants to group all men together that we’re all a bunch of a-holes, let her think it. I was good to her. She came on to me, first. She started the heavy stuff. Hayley’s a pretty hot girl and not too many guys would’ve walked away from her. Jake, would. But he’s an oak. I try to be, but it’s hard to resist someone like her. She’s built like a fold out and she knows how to please a guy.
Maybe I’ll give her a call and really piss of Nikia. As long as she thinks I’m a dirtbag, I might as well be.
May 5, 2009 at 1:27 am
Hey Zach, thanks for looking for a new lead. I can’t post much for now. Will be in touch tomorrow!
May 5, 2009 at 1:30 am
Okay, Zach. I read your post. Think long and hard before going to Hayley. Remember what she’s done to your sister. I don’t get the deal with Nikia. You have been the best with her. Something more than meets the eye there. I’ll think more about this and will post tomorrow.
May 5, 2009 at 10:51 am
AW, I wouldn’t go near Hayley. I was irritated with Nikia when I wrote that.
That would be like rubbing my sister’s nose in it. Wouldn’t do it.
Nikia and I talked. I broke down and sent her flowers. I really like her and she’s a nice girl. She confessed to me that she is jealous of Hayley. She doesn’t like knowing I slept with her and she thinks she’s beautiful and it makes her feel inadequate. I told her she may be beautiful on the outside, but she’s black hearted and ugly on the inside. I told her she was beautiful both ways. She cried and told me she’s afraid I won’t ever love her. That made me feel like crap. I told her that I just don’t say I love you casually, and for not to think I don’t love her, I’m just not going to say it until it feels right. I think I think I’m falling for her, I think about her all the time. I admit I got scared I thought I was going to lose her. She’s a find.
Rick is still not home and Kara isn’t doing well. She’s a basket case. I think she does love Rick, she’s just messed up. I asked her if she wanted a divorce and she just burst out crying and said was she still can’t believe Rick would hurt her like that. She trusted him. I don’t know what to say to her. I’ll be glad when they see a counselor. It’s Rick’s fault for being so frickin weak, but I could bash Hayley, too.
later
May 6, 2009 at 12:43 am
Yeah, I could bash Hayley myself. Rick has dealt with a lot, too, so go easy on him. And you know how I feel about what Kara has been through, so I am really feeling for her. They just need to see a really good counselor.
I am so happy to hear you are getting back with Nikia. I think she will be good for you Zach. I do think there’s more to her story, but I do identify with her a lot. I’m attractive but still am insecure when it comes to women after my husband. You know how it ticks me off. My daughter had to have a treatment at the hospital today and my husband took her for the first one. So the two nurses in the unit had a big smile on their face when she walked through the door … until they saw me and it was clear. They wanted that good looking guy to be there, not the woman he’s married to. It was quick but I picked up on it. I was very friendly and respectful and tried to blow it off, but it gets under my skin. I know where Nikia is coming from and she’s had it forced down her throat with the actions Hayley has taken. My husband gave a female doctor a hard time yesterday. She didn’t try to flirt with him either. I do think there is something there with him. However, I won’t even go there anymore because his point is that when I have confidence in myself it shows and it doesn’t matter what other women do. Sometimes I think he’s feeding me a line of BS to get me off his back, but on the other hand, he is right. When I feel attractive and confident, it puts women like than in their place … don’t flirt with my guy. Still, I do wish that just one time some good looking guy would come up to me and really flirt. Just to let him know not to get too comfy. That is mean, I know. I get where Nikia is coming from and she is a beautiful woman. You’ve told me that. My husband tells me that. She’s just a lot like me, we concentrate on our negatives, instead of the positives because women like Hayley do make us feel very inadequate. I think you said the right things to her. Just remind her how beautiful she is to you (on the outside). Tell her what you told me about how she really caught your eye when you first met. Remember that? You were hooked on the visual. She needs to hear that from you right now. Hayley is a …. AAGGHHH … can’t say it cause I’m trying not to swear.
May 8, 2009 at 9:22 pm
AW, I don’t understand why women compare themselves to other women so much when they have a guy who obviously is crazy about them. I noticed Nikia because she IS very beautiful to me. I don’t think Hayley is as pretty as Nikia, but Hayley has a different look. She sort of oozes sexuality. When I looked at her, I never got much above the chest. Sounds sexist I know, but it’s the truth. The day I saw her at my parents wearing her skimpy bikini I wasn’t thinking she’d make a nice wife. When I look at Nikia, she’s got an innocence about her, big eyes, pouty lips, sweetness, someone I’m attracted to, and yeah, have sex with, but it’s the other things that caught my eye first. You’ve got to be the same way, the way you’ve described yourself. Toned, long hair, some guy said you were drop dead gorgeous, so why would you think your husband would want anyone else. To be honest, Caroline was not the most beautiful girl I’d ever been with or have been with since. But that girl had my heart. She was beautiful to me. No one could’ve taken me away from her. Nikia, well, I don’t really want to be with anyone else right now. She’s soft and nice, and she’s not Hayley in the sack, but it’s still good. I’m satisfied. More than satisfied. She’s a very good kisser, and a snuggler. I like that. She’s like Amy because she always smells really good. I actually thought the other day she’s the marrying kind. So, she’s got me thinking. I don’t want to screw things up with her. I just don’t understand why she would feel some sleezy woman like Hayley I’d ever take seriously. All Hayley has to offer is sex. That’s it. You need to give your husband more credit about how he looks at you. I think the guy stuck gold. Even thought he’s a good looking guy, and women might throw themselves at him, he’s not stupid. A guy knows when he’s got a good one. Don’t worry. Really. He’s all yours.
Later
May 9, 2009 at 10:41 am
Hey Jake, hope your family is doing well. Recovering after a death can be brutal. Don’t know what all is going on with you, just wanted to say these past couple of years I’ve enjoyed the dialogue. Take care, bro. I’ve learned alot from you. Thanks.
May 14, 2009 at 12:06 am
Hi Zach,
Sorry I’ve been out of the loop. My son took a turn for the worse and he’s in the hospital now. They’re giving him intravenous medicine and we’ll be talking to a surgeon tomorrow. He’s lost so much weight it is scary. One of his favorite shows is House. His condition has made his calf muscles lock up, so he walks with a limp. Anyway, I told him that I know he likes the show, but starting to limp like the guy is a bit much. Trying to lighten the mood a little. I just want him to get well.
Thanks for your very uplifting words, too! You are a sweetheart! It’s so nice to see you settle into a nice groove with Nikia. She may still have her episodes with Hayley. Hopefully Hayley will pick up and move on to someone else. She’s really done the damage to you and Kara, hasn’t she. It’s warped.
I hope Jake will be able to follow our thread. I know he’ll check it out before assuming we stopped posting … at least I hope he does. It was easy for me to find. When I have time this weekend, I’ll go post the new area we’re at for him. I hate going in the old one because my computer freezes up.
I’m tired today, so I’m gonna sign out. I don’t know how you guys who have jobs that keep you up to all hours get up and function. I took the first shift at the hospital and my husband came up after his meeting. He got home at 3am and got up and ready by 6am like it was nothing. Gotta be the training you all have.
How is Kara doing?
May 28, 2009 at 1:04 am
Zach, everything okay? I’m just checking in but see no activity. You’ve probably done the same. Jake will join us. Hang in there.
May 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Aw, sorry about your son. Not sure if I remember everything going on with him. Hope he’s recovering okay.
Kara’s seeing a therapist. She cries alot. Rick is back but he’s staying in another in the basement. They have a nice basement. It’s like a little apartment. From what the kids have told my parents, their parents haven’t been fighting and they’re glad their Dad is back. Rick told me he really loved Kara and he would do anything not to lose her. He’s scared. I hope it all works out.
I got into some trouble. Nikia’s boss has been hitting on her. She told me about it awhile ago. She told me not to do anything, but I guess he came on to her pretty strong one night a few weeks ago when they were working late. I met her after she was done and as soon as I saw her I knew something was wrong. She told me he kept touching her hair and telling her he thinks about her all the time and he tried to kiss her. The creep is married. Well, you know me and my temper. I couldn’t let it go. I waited for him to come out and told him I was seeing Nikia and if she told me one more time he was coming on to her I’d rip him a new one. He denied it so I grabbed him by the throat and told him again. He told me he was calling the police and got out his cell phone. I took that from him and stepped on it. I told him not to be stupid or I’d be talking to his wife next. Next day, Nikia gets told she’s been turned down for a promotion she’s wanted and they’re transferring her to another office. I told her what I did. She wasn’t mad, she said she was glad because the guy was a jerk, but she’s mad about losing the promotion. I told her to report it, but she doesn’t want the hassle and she said it’s her word against his. She said no one else ever saw anything and she has no proof. I’d like to pop him.
Nothing much else going on. School’s out soon. Thinking about taking another trip somewhere.
Later, hang in there.
June 4, 2009 at 12:35 am
Zach, the true knight in shining armor! Well, I guess your armor glows more than shines
!
Nikia’s transfer is telling. I’d do exactly what she’s telling you to do, even though it’s the wrong thing to do. In my experience, women with the true cases hang silent and get out. She will get a decent boss who will recognize her skills and will promote her. The only way she would get promoted under that jerk would be by sleeping with him. He’d leak it to the other scumbags he hangs with and her future would be sealed (in more ways than one). Not worth the price in my book. That’s one reason why I have always liked working for straight women. They may be tough in many ways, but they do tend to appreciate a hard worker and they don’t hit on you. I’ve had two really awesome women bosses. I’ve had two marginal ones, too. I’ve had one total jerk of a male boss and one who is just completely ineffective. I can’t believe you crushed his phone. You rock! For all the women out there dealing with what Nikia has been through, thank you!!!!!
My son is doing better. My daughter isn’t. A woman connected with our program turned me on to some important info today, so we’re heading to some new doctors. I hold out hope we will find out what has suddenly caused these two kids to go from super healthy to super sick.
So, where are you thinking about going on vacation. We are heading to an Island off of SC this summer. It’s a beautiful place. We found a tucked away area (and it’s a small island). Can’t wait!
Thanks for keeping me posted on Rick and Kara. I think it’s a good sign that he is home. Even if it is the basement area. I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Otherwise, you sound good.
Do you worry jerk man will make trouble for you at work? The fact that he hasn’t makes me think he was doing exactly what you pummeled him for.
June 5, 2009 at 4:07 pm
AW, sorry your kids are sick. Glad your son is doing better. Hope he stays that way. It seems weird they got sick and you didn’t see it coming. Keep me informed.
I talked with Rick quite awhile last night. I believe he’s really sorry for hurting Kara, and the family in general. He’s trying hard to make my parents accept him. It’s not that they don’t, it’s just put up a wall. As much as I care about my sister, you can’t neglect a man that way forever. He’ll either leave you, or do what Rick did. I’d leave. I could probably even love my wife, but I’d still leave. I don’t think women realize how neglect like that makes a man feel. I know some women hate it, for whatever reason, and that they can go months without it. I could, too, if the wife had an illness or if we were separated for a particular reason, but if we’re both in the same house, in the same bed, and you’re shot done everytime you make an advance, a guy interprets that to mean you don’t want him, or you turn her off, you’re just doing something wrong, or she wants somebody else. After awhile, you’d question your manhood. I know I would. Especially if she said she loved me but wouldn’t let me touch her. I hear guys talk alot at the firehouse, and alot of guys have to beg for it. Their wives are cold. Caroline and I were great together, I haven’t had an problems so far, so I’ve been lucky. I don’t think I could handle it very well. Don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t mean any disrespect.
And no, I’m not afraid of Nikia’s boss doing anything. Stuff like that doesn’t scare me. If he did do something, I’d address it right away, to his face. When I grabbed him, I could see in his eyes I scared the shit out of him. He’d be easy to kick ass. He’s just one of those guys that doesn’t offer much of a threat. I enjoyed busting his phone. It was a nice one, too. You should’ve seen his face. I thought he was going to cry. It makes me chuckle.
Later
June 10, 2009 at 12:21 am
Zach, I’m laughing over your description of jerk with the expensive phone! Thanks for that. How did Nikia do going back to work after that? Part of me would be like, “try anything now jerk” but part of me would be afraid of the retaliation coming my way in some form or another. I’ve always been lucky in that regard. The guys I have worked with have either been gay or respectful. I catch them looking sometimes and that’s okay as long as it doesn’t go any further. I don’t know what I would do if I worked for someone like that. I’d have to quit and find something else. Anyway, thanks for all the women out there in situations like that. They probably wish they had you with them!
So, do you think Kara and Rick will pull through? He definitely wants to. Is she getting any help with her issues? I understand what you mean when you talk about men needing to feel wanted. Sex helps that. Women need to feel wanted too, but I don’t think sex necessarily fills that need so we get fulfillment in other ways. Still making your guy beg for it is just not okay. That alone must really hurt a male ego. Isn’t it interesting how it is so different for each gender? If those two problems could be solved, I wonder how many marriages would be on much more solid ground.
How are things at the Firehouse?
June 13, 2009 at 5:53 pm
AW,
Nikia turned in her resignation yesterday. That shocked me. She said she was sick of the way they do things at the company. She’s been there almost eight years and this episode with her boss was the final straw. She has a degree in business and marketing, and she has several certifications in insurance. She said she has enough money saved to last for 3-4 months without touching other investments. If she doesn’t find anything, she’d worry about it then. I told her I’d take care of her. She asked me what that meant and I knew I could get into trouble if I didn’t answer right. So I just told her what I meant was I’d never let anything happen to her. She said for a second she thought I was asking her to move in and she said she would never do that without being married. I felt like I opened up a can or worms so I just put my arms around her and said things will be alright. She whispered in my ear I love you and told me she dreams about being my wife. I just smiled at her and said nothing. Thank God Josh came in the room. I’m pretty stupid, huh?
Rick and Kara are coming along slowly. Nikia and I took them out to dinner the other night. Kara was quiet. She did dance a couple slow dances with Rick. He left to get some drinks and I asked her how she was doing. Had I known how the conversation would go, I never would’ve asked. She said it was nice to feel Rick close to her but but while they were dancing she thought about him and Hayley and wondered if he ever slow danced with her. Nikia told her that even if he did it would never be the same as it was with her. She said Hayley probably danced with everyone in Buffalo. Then Nikia says, Kara, I have to deal with the same thing you do. Zach laid her. Then she gives me this dirty staredown. I said, C’mon Nikia, that’s enough. Then Kara and Nikia walk out on the deck. Rick comes back and I told him the conversation. We both shook our heads. We didn’t talk about it again that night, but Nikia was acting pissy toward me. When I took her home, I told her not to bring Hayley up again. To me OR to Kara. She says I don’t blame you for being ashamed of it. She is such a whore and just because she’s easy and beautiful you jump her. I told her I didn’t know what to say but if she’s going to let it bother her it would probably ruin us in time. She say’s probably, kissed me on the cheek and got out of the car. I left. Next day when we talked it never came up and hasn’t since. I don’t know, what do you think?
Hope all is well with you and your kids. Hang in there.
Later
June 18, 2009 at 12:19 am
Whoa, Zach! Well, here’s what I’m thinking. I think Nikia is ticked that you were with Hayley. Now you know I am not a fan of Hayley’s in the least (to put it mildly). However, she played her cards in the beginning and she played them to get you hooked. Honestly, if I can be so bold here, I think half of Nikia’s problem with her is that she is beautiful and Nikia is jealous of that. I’d be jealous, too, but the difference is, everyone is entitled to a past. It’s not like you are dwelling on the woman. You met her, dated her, slept with her. Big deal. You also broke up with her. So, I think in some way Nikia is worried you will be drawn back to her. The fact that she equates what Hayley did with Rick to what Hayley had with you is troublesome to me. Rick was a married man. And as Kara’s good friend, Hayley knew what was going on with them. She had inside information and she moved in on Rick. That shoud get her a ticket to you know where. I do think Hayley has the need to show all men that she is it and I think she takes pleasure in showing other women that she can turn any man. Nikia has figured this out and she’s afraid it will happen with you two. You have the history and obviously Hayley will go after a married man, so she’ll do the same with a committed one. However, when I read what you say about Hayley, I totally get that you can’t stand her. You give her credit for her looks and skills, but you can’t stand her personality and ethics. I read honesty in what you say. I guess maybe if I were dating you, I’d wonder, but I’m not sure about that. You seem genuine, Zach, and this woman has nearly ruined your sister’s marriage, so that’s an added factor. I guess I’m a little concerned that Nikia has got an inferiority complex that you’ll end up having to deal with constantly. Now I say this as a person who gets sick of women flirting with my husband. Since posting here, I’ve definitely seen your and Jake’s side and how that insecurity can damage a relationship. Plus, when I have confidence, it shows in many ways. I think I finally realized that guys don’t like insecure women and you shouldn’t have to always reassure us. It really is empowering. And I’ve also noticed that since I’ve stopped with some of those behaviors that he’s happier and more plugged in and that when someone does seem to do something to slight me or insult me, he doesn’t let it go. So being a more self confident person has a weird side effect with men. They become more protective. Being a victim doesn’t make them ride in like the knight in shining armor. When you are feminine but strong and you’re attacked, well, all I can say is it doesn’t sit well with your guy.
I don’t think you should give up on Nikia, but I do think maybe you should try to get her to look at the situation a different way. I haven’t seen Hayley, but from your descriptions, I’m sure I would not want her after my guy and I’d probably have to bite my tongue in half not to rip her her head off or shoot her with one of my guns. Mean beautiful women just really tick us off.
Funeral tomorrow. A wonderful guy in his early 40’s. Beautiful wife and two young kids. Cancer. Unfortunately, he spent the last year in Afghanistan fighting the enemy and didn’t pay attention to the signs something was seriously wrong. What truly gets to me, is that as much as these two loved each other, they are not bitter towards our Country/Government. Just one great, great guy. I know you and your guys and anyone connected on the ground or in the air on 9-11 get it, but too many don’t. Especially the idiots that heavily contribute to Moveon.org. I’ll get off the soap box before I step up on it.
Zach, I really enjoy posting. I wish Jake and Amy would check back in, but over the next 18 months, I’m going to need you. He leaves soon.
June 22, 2009 at 6:07 pm
AW, I would like to hear from Jake, too. Seems a little odd that he quit posting. He was the one I always thought would be here. I know he said his wife’s father died, and she’s taking it really hard, but it seems like its been a long time for him to stay away for that reason alone. Maybe he just got sick of counseling us all the time. In my circle, a guy too sensitive is considered weak so I don’t say too much to anyone. I have a few guys I have told things to, but they never gave the advice Jake did. They either tell you to suck it up and quit being a pussy, or they say they’re sorry and want to buy you a beer.
I would never start things up again with Hayley. Without sounding like a pig, she had the best body of any girl I’ve ever been with and she knows how to use it. She has an insatiable sexual appetite. If you’re alone with her, she rips your clothes off. I like to consider myself experienced, but this chick, she was something else. Amazing. But that sums it up about Hayley. No personality, just hot sex. One of her tricks was slowly stripping down to her thong, and then bending over and press herself into you. She was very proud of her boobs nd she loved showing them off to you. She did strip teases for me all the time. She even showed up at the firehouse one time, and when I went out to her car to she what she wanted, after we were done talking she lifted up her shirt and pulled my face into her chest. It was interesting. She did the same things to Rick. He and I talked about it. He said if Kara acted like that just once a year he’d be happy. He did confess to me that he loves Kara, but Hayley was the biggest turn on of his life. I just told you that little bit of sex stuff so you’d see what a guy was up against with her. She really knows how to get you going. I was married twice, and neither one of them ever acted like that. Caroline was modest. Amy had some religious hangups about sex and she was modest too. I hope I’m not embarassing you. I’m just letting you know that I’d never want Hayley for anything more than that. I can’t stand her. I don’t even want her for that anymore.
Sorry about your friend. These moveon people suck. I don’t even listen to their crap. Civil liberties union is another one that drives me nuts.
Hang in there. I may not be on here all the time, but I do check in every few days. Nikia and I are okay, but you’re right. She’s insecure as Hell. I don’t like it.
Later.
June 25, 2009 at 12:11 am
My husband would completely agree with you on the insecurities thing and I have truly worked on it. Like I said, it’s better for me, too, when I don’t wig out over some of this stuff.
Don’t worry about what you said about Hayley. We all know women like her. I’d probably feel sorry for her if I didn’t want to haul off and deck her for Kara and Nikia.
I don’t know where Jake is either. It is weird that he left. Maybe he’ll be back. It’s not too hard to find where we moved. Maybe if I have time this weekend, I’ll try to see if I can see if he and Mrs. DJ have posted.
I’ll post soon.
July 11, 2009 at 2:41 am
Zach, I looked over a lot of the website and couldn’t find recents posts. It’s sad because Mrs DJ has posted on some within the last year. DJ and Jake too. Cruddy work week. How are you?
July 11, 2009 at 1:48 pm
AW, sorry I haven’t posted. Been away for a few days. Alot going on.
Maybe DJ and Jake just got sick of it. Who knows? I’ve noticed a couple other postings by “jake pndering, and just jake” and I’ve wondered if it’s him. It’s too bad. I really liked the guy. I used to think there was a kind of bond with all of us. Everything ends in time.
Nikia and I are still hanging in there. She’s a good person. I love her. By that I don’t mean like I was with Caroline or Amy. Maybe it will grow to that. I’m still leary of commitment. I have alot and so many friends have lousy marriages or are divorced and have lost everything. I would have to set up something legal to make sure Josh is protected. It’s sounds shitty to think like that, but I’m being realistic. Maybe to a fault.
Hope your next work week is better. I’ll check in once in awhile to see if you post. Rick and Kara are doing better but are far from 100%. It’s been hard for the whole family. The kids attitudes have changed because of it. I’m keeping Josh away as much as I can. I don’t want that rubbing off on him. He’s a good kid. Respectful. I don’t want to have to deal with crap like that from a kid. I don’t have the personality for it anyway. I’d probably get in trouble because of the way I handle mouthy disrespectful kids.
Take care
July 12, 2009 at 11:09 am
hey here I am in Korea visiting DJ. I’ll tell him I found you and you are alive and well. Its monsoon season and today was crappy.
July 12, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Mrs DJ! So nice to hear from you. I think we could give monsoon season a run for its money this year. This summer has to go on record as the rainiest, coolest, least sunshine since I moved here in 1986. Yuk! How have you all been?
Zach, protecting Josh is your job and given your career, you have to think of him above everything else. If I were the woman dating you, that would do nothing more than make me respect you. I’m a mom, too, so maybe the mom thing has a lot to do with that, but you know how I feel about step parents. There are some awesome ones out there and then there are some who do nothing more than make their step child’s life miserable. I know kids can put an adult through the wringer, too, but it’s a test and most kids want to be loved and place high on the totem pole. So, I take it that Kara and Rick’s kids are throwing attitude, huh. That’s not going to help their situation. Especially if they handle it differently. Maybe the kids should talk to the counselor too. You’d be surprised what kids hear even when we think we’ve done everything to prevent it. That’s kind of why I don’t believe in hiding a lot from them. If it’s out in the open, it’s easier to deal with (as long as it gets dealt with).
We had sun today! Woohoo! Actually got a slight sun burn. It’s summers like this that make me want to head for Southern Virginia or the Carolinas. I love those states. I’ve accepted mine but as a midwestern girl, a summer like this is really hard to take especially when we’re heading in to sub zero temps with our 6 month winter. I’ll have to take the girls to Florida next February if things don’t pick up.
July 13, 2009 at 12:48 am
Mrs. DJ, how ya doing? How’s Mr. DJ? Korean and monsoon season. Sounds like a bummer to me. As long as you’re together it doesn’t matter I guess. Buffalo isn’t too swift this summer, either. Weather sucks to be frank. We’ve had a few good days, but not enough for me. I like riding my motorcycle and haven’t been able to do it as much as I’d like.
AW, yeah, Kara’s kids area couple of snots. They were popping off to Kara one day when I was over there, giving her a hard time, I couldn’t stand listening to it anymore so I shut them up in a quick hurry. I don’t think they like me anymore. I had them both crying. They don’t say squat to me when I’m over there now, which is fine by me. I told both Rick and Kara they better get a grip on them quick because they’ll only get worse. I don’t let Josh wear ear phones or play his games when we’re out eating or having dinner period. That’s BS. Kara’s kids will turn their backs on her when she’s talking to them and put their headphones on. That makes her yell and they yell back. I can’t handle that shit. I like peace and quiet and if Josh ever turned his back on me when I was talking to him I’d beat the snot out of him. I’d have him scared to fart around me. I have a short fuse when it comes to some kid telling me how it’s gonna be. Ain’t happenin. I don’t know what’s wrong with these spineless parents that let their kids walk all over them. I see it all the time. And I don’t get it. Josh was telling me how one of his friends flipped his father off. I asked him if he ever thought about doing that to me. He said, not to your face, and that made me laugh. I asked him why and he said I’d probabaly break his finger. Josh and I have a good relationship. I love that kid more than anything and I’m not going to let him grow up to be some rude ass loser. Anyway, I’m talking too much about this. It’s firing me up.
Hope you all have a great week.
Later
July 17, 2009 at 1:37 am
Thanks for not raising Josh to be a SRB(spoiled rotten brat). One of my daughter’s friend’s mothers is a jerk. The daughter is adopted and I really think the woman regrets it. This girl is a good kid. She doesn’t use drugs, sleep around, or mouth off to her parents. But the adoptive mother is always on her case. My daughter called me at work the other afternoon to ask if I minded if she went to Friendly’s with her friends for lunch. They had been at the town pond (to my horror because it’s a breeding ground for bacteria) and I asked if she’d been in the water. She said no, (too cold – surprise – cruddy summer). So I told her no going in to the water with her health issues, but of course she could go with her friends to Friendly’s. When her friend called her mom, she gave her the umpteenth degree. This girl feels unloved. Not good for a girl. I just don’t get it. My oldest (who I am totally in support of today because he’s an awesome young man who turned the corner) put me through hell as a teen. This girl is no problem, but her adoptive mother treats her like a criminal. You can just see the problems happening. I will say that it’s made my 17 year old daughter appreciate me all the more, but we’re close anyway. I have respect for you, Zach, that you call it like you see it with your sister. The ear phone garbage. Sorry. No kid should go un punished when they put them on as their parent is trying to talk to them. Those kids have heard a lot though. I bet they respect you far more than you think. I think you should find a way to let them know that even though you have standards and expect kids to live by them, you are there for them. I do believe most kids want parents to take control. They want to be respected too. You do both, Zach. Put the word out to them. Let me know how it goes. How are things with Nikia? How are your mom and dad? I really don’t like David Letterman. Hey, what do you and your workmates feel about the Sotomoyer (sp?) ruling on the firefighter exams being biased? Have you seen how the media is going after the guys who filed the lawsuit? Talk about a group of people (our press) who can’t handle constructive criticsm. They are crucifying some of these men. Time for me to get my voodoo doll out. I got it in New Orleans. It’s worth a shot!
July 17, 2009 at 8:28 pm
AW, thanks for the advice. I no doubt should tell Kara’s kids I care about them. I would think they’d know. I took them to Disneyland last year. I take them to carnivals, roller skating, movies, etc, have them over to the house. I haven’t done much with them since I took their ipods away, slammed them into chairs and told them to shut up or I’d shut them up. They had alot of attitude and I don’t like being around it. It really pisses me off. Us guys, think differently than you women. That’s why we need you because we don’t verbalize every little thing. We assume love is understood. It usually gets us into trouble, too. I know most of you like to be told time and time again that we love you, and need you, and all that. And I guess kids need to hear it, too. Mom’s usually do that for the kids. Dad’s don’t. I’m trying to be better. Josh is my son, but he’s also my bud. When I put my arm around and call him buddy, it’s like me telling him I love him. I just don’t say the words, like most of you women do. I don’t cuddle him, I hug him, but I don’t make a big deal about it. I don’t want him to be a sissy or pansey. I want him to be a guy and act like guy. I want him to be able to take a hit and not be a crybaby. It’s a tough world and I want him to be a take charge guy. I may not always be around, so he needs to know what needs to be done and have the guts to do it. You’re a good Mom. Your husband is lucky. I was lucky with Caroline. I think she’d be proud the way Josh is turning out. He’s a good kid. Maybe he’s good because he knows I won’t put up with alot of shit. I demand resepct, and I better get it. I probably sound like a mean Dad, but I rarely have to descipline him. He knows what I expect. And I tell him all the time I’m proud of him, that he’s a good man. He’s great.
Anyway, that lawsuit is bogus. I’ve always felt promotions should be based on performance in the field, not on a written test. Anyone can do good on a test, but under pressure, that’s how you find out who’s a leader or not. A written test will never determine leadership or execution. I know. I’ve worked with guys that just can’t take alot of things. I wouldn’t want them in positions calling shots and putting me and everyone else in danger. God made guys for leadership and others for “execution”. Most of us know who’s who.
Nikia, she’s a sweetheart. Since she quit her job she seems different. Happier. She’s not even looking for one right now. She is doing making cookies and doing cookie arrangements. She’s a good cook. But I ain’t never getting rid of my cleaning lady. She’s become family.
Later
July 20, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Zach, your cleaning lady needs a vacation. Come on, you know she does. We have green grass, fresh air, cool temps. She can stay for free! All I’d ask is a quick run through my house with a vac and dust mop. A nice dinner would be bonus, but I’d fix her several in return!
So has Nikia taken on a business? You know they always say you should look at a forced career change as an opportunity to do something that will really give you meaning. I think that’s great and it sounds like things are more cozy for you two.
I get where you are coming from with the kids. My husband can be harsh at times and I kind of go behind him when that happens (which isn’t often) to smooth things over a bit. I think the kids respect him more for it though than they do me. I’m the mom and my job is just to kind of be there to cuddle them and listen. They are good kids. My oldest gave me a run and trust me, I could not wait to hand the reigns to my husband when he got home. That currency thing, find a kid’s currency and take it away in order to get them to straighten out. Well, my son didn’t have any. He’s as stubborn as his dad and I together. Made me have respect for single moms who raise really good kids … like Tiki and Ronde Barber. Tough job but she did an awesome job without much help! I’d go listen to her talk about getting through the teen years any day of the week.
Busy week ahead. May not be able to check in for several days. Hope to have some exciting news to share soon!
July 30, 2009 at 5:52 am
I really missed you guys. I’d love to tell you all what’s happening but I am under a cloak of confidentiality. Nothing to worry about. I’ve been through some tough times but it’s all good now.
Someday we will meet up if that is what everyone wants.
Zach,keep the faith. It all works out in the end if we do that.
Americanwoman,we are all here for you (even if we don’t post frequently).
God Bless!
Jake
July 30, 2009 at 5:56 am
August 1, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Jake! Where have you been, man??? So glad you’re back.
I’ve been called out today, but I checked in after paying some bills on the internet.
What the confidentiality thing? Are you some kind of spy now? Kidding.
I decided to propose to Nikia. Haven’t done it yet, but I bought the ring a few days ago.
I’ve always liked her, but since she left that job I see new things about her that I’m attracted to. Maybe these qualities were always there, I just never noticed them. I want her for always. I’m very happy.
Hope she accepts. I love her.
Buddy, stay awhile.
August 2, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Jake! I’ve been thinking about you so much lately, just wondering what was up. I’ve also been thinking about the pilot (Scott Speicher) so much lately. It’s weird how we find that they’ve finally found him and then you post! Been thinking about Regis Philbin, too. Not sure that’s a good thing for him.
Zach! Awesome, Awesome news! Good luck (even though you won’t need it!)
August 4, 2009 at 10:41 pm
August 12, 2009 at 7:06 pm
BJ & AW,
I’ve waited to tell you this because I don’t know what to make of it.
Nikia turned me down. She told me she loved me but she doesn’t feel I’m ready. I still can’t believe it. I don’t know whether to pissed or thankful. And get this, she still wants things to go on.
I don’t know what she wants or what I’m supposed to do. I told her I may never ask her again. Then she said she loved me.
You women. Always doing crap like this and we’re supposed to figure out the big picture.
Jake, what’s up with you? You don’t relate anymore. You’ve decided to be anonymous or what? I don’t get you, either. You post musicals but don’t say anything. I’m a communicater. Maybe too much. I expect communication back.
Maybe it’s time to just fizzle this whole thing.
August 13, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Zach,
you wrote:
“Nikia turned me down. She told me she loved me but she doesn’t feel I’m ready…. I don’t know whether to pissed or thankful. And get this, she still wants things to go on.
I don’t know what she wants or what I’m supposed to do. I told her I may never ask her again. Then she said she loved me.”
She doesn’t want to get hurt. She doesn’t want to hurt you. She is feeling you out.
Your response, “I don’t know whether to be pissed or thankful.” and “I told her I may never ask her again.”
She doesn’t want to fence you in….unless that’s what you really want ,pardner.
What does Zach want? Big Jake can’t answer that for you. Neither can Nikia. She has too much invested in the relationship to take a chance on smothering it if you are not really ready yet. I think she said it best …”I told her I may never ask her again. Then she said “SHE LOVED ME’.”
August 13, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Zach ,
I owe you an explanation. I’ve backed off on posting because I was taken in by Haley . She had me fooled. Granted ,I didn’t know about what was going on with your brother-in-law.
She still had me fooled . I should have picked up on the signals you were giving me
about her ulterior motives. I had a feeling she had an agenda but nothing as sinister as you seemed to think. (you thought she was after you to beat up her ex.)
August 13, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I’ve had some personal stuff going on with my father-in-law’s death . Pretty rough on my wife.
Good things are happening too. I’m getting into the movie business …producing my first feature film with well known actors…Can’t talk about it for confidentiality reasons. Financing is almost wrapped up. Shooting hopefully to begin this September.
Next film project to help out my parish church -in the red because of excessive mortgage costs on the new school addition.
We want to do a “Fireproof” type movie .
August 13, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Getting back to you and Nikia….
If it was me, and I really wanted to start a life with her… well, I would just pick her up in my arms ,kiss her and tell her I wanted her for my wife..my one and only from here on in …till death do us part.
That’s all you really have to do….if you are ready.
Hope this helps.
Jake
August 27, 2009 at 12:00 am
Zach, sorry for the delay. I’ve been on vacation and a business trip. Nikia turned you down. I’ve learned (or think I have) a lot about you, so it’s difficult for me to comment on this but from what I think I know about you, I think she’s nuts. That said, how long have you two been together now? She may feel like you feel like you have to ask her to marry you. Sounds dumb, but there are some of us out there. So maybe she just really wants you to be triple sure this is the real deal. Based on what you’ve said, she sounds cautious. Was in a hotel fire last week. Not a large one, but big enough and you know, some of us were told not to evacuate. Many floors to the hotel, too. I listened thinking that after 9-11, they wouldn’t give false info. Dumb. To those of you out there. You can always question the cause when you are alive afterwards. You can’t if you go down in a building where the idiot on the first floor says everything is okay over the phone. They won’t tell the truth either.
Jake, you don’t sound like your old self.
September 10, 2009 at 12:22 am
Zach, it’s looking like things are folding. Thanks for the friendship and guy perspective on things. Of everyone who has posted here, my connection with you was most appreciated. I feel like we are kindred spirits in may ways. May only good things come to you from here on out, my friend! You are such an awesome guy!
The real Big Jake, thanks for all of your great advice. I learned from everything you posted and I have really missed your absence these last months. I mean it. I still worry that something has happened to you. You are a good, good man.
Amy, hope things with Nick and the baby are well. I think your folks can get in touch with me one way or another. I’m here for you. Life as a good, caring, and supportive military wife is not easy. Remember that our guys don’t have it easy either. The secret in a successful military marriage is not to compare how hard you each had it, rather it is to fully appreciate how hard the other person had it and to fully realize that neither could fill the other person’s shoes. We are uniquely cut out for the mission and we both matter.
I will sorely miss you three.
September 10, 2009 at 4:52 am
Americanwoman,
I think things are folding too. I haven’t been posting because I have been tied up with a lot of different things,some good ,some not so good.
Healthwise ,nothing serious,just getting older.I have gotten a lot closer with my kids . You may recall we had difficulty communicating.
It takes two to communicate. We finally learned how to listen to each other and things are gtrat now.
I’ll let you in on something. My daughter is now a screenwriter and I am helping produce the screenplay. The cast is made up with well known Hollywood actors. That’s why I can’t talk about it here. I hoped that someday we all could talk face to face. Well, I guess that won’t be happening.
It has been about three years that we’ve been doing this. I’ve gotten a lot out of it.
I’ll never forget you ,Amy, Zach,DJ ,Mrs.DJ and all the others along the way.
I will check back from time to time to see if anybody posts but if this is it,just know you guys will always have a special place in my heart.
Happy trails,
Jake
September 10, 2009 at 4:58 am
September 12, 2009 at 12:10 am
JAKE! It is you! I wish you tons of success with your new project and I am so proud of you!
I will keep checking in if you do. I know I will need support soon because my guy is moving out.
Keep me posted on developments with the project. I am so excited for you!
September 12, 2009 at 12:13 am
When I say moving out, I mean as in deploying. We are solid but I am going to miss this wonderful man I married so many years ago. And I will worry for his safety and the safety of his soldiers.
September 14, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Americanwoman,
I will be saying prayers for you and your family. I am grateful to you and your family for the sacrifices you make defending our country. Thank you and God bless you all!
September 15, 2009 at 12:35 am
Thank you, JC. My husband is fortunate to command such an awesome group of soldiers and our families really, really rely on the good wishes from people like you. It makes a tremendous difference. Thank you!
September 18, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Americanwoman,
Thanks for the good wishes and your friendship. You and your family will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
Jake
October 5, 2009 at 12:55 am
Zach, I was worried about you, given your profession, so I went searching and see that two of your comrades lost their lives fighting a fire in the Buffalo area. Please check in to at least let us know you’re okay.
Jake, I saw your post today on another site here and posted. That movie of yours, I hope to hell it portrays things the way they need to be portrayed and that’s from the perspective on the ground from these men and women who sacrifice everything to make the world a better place for everyone. I’m so sick of cowards in public office, who rake in the hard earned money of their constituents acting like they give a damn for the sacrifices being made. They need to live in the shoes of the young mother of an infant and toddler whose husband is deployed and she works for some moron who doesn’t get it. She’s away from a support network and has the weight of the world on her shoulders with nowhere to turn. Too many ME thinkers and credit takes in this world. The true heroes are on our front lines and those who care for them here at home.
December 14, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Merry Christmas everybody!
Hope you all have a happy and healthy New Year!
Best regards,
Jake
December 17, 2009 at 1:58 am
Thanks, Jake! I check back in every once and awhile. Loved the song and you know how I love my angels! Merry Christmas to you and your family, too! Maybe our friends will check back in with us soon. I miss them and you!
December 24, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Prayers? I will be praying at the Black Alter tonight.