Televangelists


The Fringe NYC Encore Series is presenting the play Hillary Agonistes by Nick Salamone beginning tonight at 9:30 pm at the Bleecker Street Theater. The play posits the following future:

“Part Greek tragedy, part blackest comedy, Hillary Agonistes tells the cautionary tale of Hillary Clinton, newly elected President of the United States,” detail press notes. “One bright spring day 65 million people disappear – First Husband Bill among them. Is it the rapture? Pat Robertson, Stephen Hawking, a Papal emissary, the Antichrist and a Muslim convert named Chelsea offer their opinions as Hillary agonizes and attempts to avert Armageddon.”

See full article here.

In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson predicted Tuesday that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in “mass killing” late in 2007.

“I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear,” he said during his news-and-talk television show “The 700 Club” on the Christian Broadcasting Network. “The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

Full article here.   Okay, the Lord didn’t say “nuclear.”  But did he say “nucular”?

Earlier this week, Sam Brownback, a Republican senator from Kansas, announced the formation of an exploratory committee to consider his candidacy for president in 2008. Never heard of him? Here’s a little background on him:

Who would Jesus vote for? Meet Sam Brownback. Nobody in this little church just off Times Square in Manhattan thinks of themselves as political. They’re spiritual — actors and athletes and pretty young things who believe that every word of the Bible is inerrant dictation from God. They look down from the balcony of the Morning Star, swaying and smiling at the screen that tells them how to sing along. Nail-pierced hands, a wounded side. This is love, this is love! But on this evening in January, politics and all its worldly machinations have entered their church. Sitting in the darkness of the front row is Sam Brownback, the Republican senator from Kansas. And hunched over on the stage in a red leather chair is an old man named Harald Bredesen, who has come to anoint Brownback as the Christian right’s next candidate for president.

. . . “I am a seeker,” he says. Brownback believes that every spiritual path has its own unique scent, and he wants to inhale them all. When he ran for the House he was a Methodist. By the time he ran for the Senate he was an evangelical. Now he has become a Catholic. He was baptized not in a church but in a chapel tucked between lobbyists’ offices on K Street that is run by Opus Dei, the secretive lay order founded by a Catholic priest who advocated “holy coercion” and considered Spanish dictator Francisco Franco an ideal of worldly power. Brownback also studies Torah with an orthodox rabbi from Brooklyn. “Deep,” says the rabbi, Nosson Scherman. Lately, Brownback has been reading the Koran, but he doesn’t like what he’s finding. “There’s some difficult material in it with regard to the Christian and the Jew,” he tells a Christian radio program, voice husky with regret.

. . . The nation’s leading evangelicals have already lined up behind Brownback, a feat in itself. A decade ago, evangelical support for a Catholic would have been unthinkable. Many evangelicals viewed the Pope as the Antichrist and the Roman Catholic Church as the Whore of Babylon. But Brownback is the beneficiary of a strategy known as co-belligerency — a united front between conservative Catholics and evangelicals in the culture war. Pat Robertson has tapped the “outstanding senator from Kansas” as his man for president. David Barton, the Christian right’s all-but-official presidential historian, calls Brownback “uncompromising” — the highest praise in a movement that considers intransigence next to godliness. And James Dobson, the movement’s strongest chieftain, can find no fault in Brownback. “He has fulfilled every expectation,” Dobson says. Even Jesse Helms, now in retirement in North Carolina, recognizes a kindred spirit. “The most effective senators are those who are truest to themselves,” Helms says. “Senator Brownback is becoming known as that sort of individual.”

Full article here.

Fully one quarter of Americans describe themselves as Evangelical Christians, and their support for the president remains rock solid.

Cornerstone Church, a vast squat white temple in San Antonio, is rapidly becoming the movement’s epicentre, thanks to the charismatic founder, Pastor John Hagee, the rising star of America’s TV evangelists. For these evangelists, the war in Iraq is not a disaster, but the beginning of the fulfilment of biblical prophecies that culminate, possibly very soon, in a mighty struggle between good and evil at Armageddon.

This belief lies at the core of the teachings of the bespectacled pastor, who argues that Christians and Jews must make common cause against forces of darkness he identifies as Arabs, Russians and even a future president of the EU. Christians who fail in their duty will be “left behind” when the obedient are summoned to heaven.

“Listen up, president of Iran,” booms the pastor. “We are going to be your worst nightmare, Mr Ahmadinejad. The pharaoh threatened Israel, he ended up fish-food in the sea. When you say Israel is going to disappear in a sudden storm you may be predicting the way you disappear.”

Full article here.

The following excerpt from Jerusalem: Countdown to Crisis, a collection of sermons by televangelist John Hagee, was heard on NPR’s Fresh Air on Monday:

In two minutes, let me tell you where we’re going from here.  This prophetic portrait paints the following sequence of events for the future.  America and Europe become weakened and cannot respond to Israel in the time that Russia and the Arab invasion begins against Israel.  This is God’s plan.  Why?  Because he wants the Jewish people in Israel and around the world to know that He — the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob — saved them, not America.  Secondly, Russia with Arab allies will plot and plan Israel’s destruction.  That’s happening right now.  It has been happening for ten years.  Iran’s nuclear weapons have been produced with Russian scientists, the Islamic Arabs are using the “roadmap to peace” to get all of the land of Israel that they can get.  And when Israel finally says “Enough!,” you’re going to see the beginning of the implementation of Ezekiel’s War in 38:39.  The critical point is the church is raptured before this War begins.  I am telling you that makes this message one of the most thrilling prophetic messages you’ve ever heard in your life.  You could get raptured out of this building before I get finished preaching.  We are that close to the coming of the Son of Man.

Listen to Terry Gross’ interview with Hagee, in which he discusses the Middle East, American politics and Hurricane Katrina – here.

Game over, says Falwell.  From Rev. Jerry Falwell’s sermon last Sunday at the Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia:

FALWELL: I expect the Lord to return in the 21st century to Rapture at his church. Now, I can’t prove that. I cannot prove that the Lord is gonna come in this century. No one knows the day or the hour, but in my heart I believe it because there are no more predicted events that need to happen before our Lord can return.

[...]

I expect a global economy in the 21st century, which first will manifest itself as a cashless society. I believe that plastic will take the place of cash, and that while this will only be fulfilled during the tribulation period at the Rapture, I believe that God is setting the stage for, and laying the infrastructure for, a cashless society right now. Most people, many pay their bills online already. And the day will come, I believe, when there will be no cash, and the only way you can get cash and trade and to do business is to [points to his forehead] have the mark of the beast.

And then I expect the nations of the world in the 21st century to move rapidly towards a one-world government. We already have the U.N. — it’s a useless bunch. But we’ve already got the U.N., and they will not be the one-world government, but they are the infrastructure, the stage on which the Antichrist will build his one-world government.

(Via Media Matters).

Overseer Yisrael Hawkins of the House of Yahweh (formerly known as country singer Buffalo Bill Hawkins) describes how he knows that global nuclear war will break out on September 12, 2006.  It has something to do with the fact that we can’t think of anything but sex.

Here’s an excerpt (thanks to Deb for the heads up):

Now that he’s mentioned it — darn it, I really can’t think of anything but sex.

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