After midnight, Tehran: Congratulations, friends. You’ve made it through another international crisis day, without the barest hint of the apocalypse. See you back at the mines tomorrow!
Of course, I know that there are plenty of places out there that haven’t finished their August 22 yet, but I figure that if the Iranians are out of their August 22, then you can pretend you’re safe for the rest of your day.
Now, as a valedictory . . . if you’ll forgive me for paraphrasing —
This is Quay Fortuna, ladies and gentlemen, out of character to assure you that “Liveblogging August 22” has no further significance than as the light summer offering it was originally intended to be. Armageddon Cocktail Hour’s own blogging version of dressing up in a sheet and jumping out of a bush and saying, “Boo!”
No one could soap all your windows and steal all your garden gates in one day … so an earnest bunch of fundamentalist Shi’ites, apocalyptic Christians and war-mongering neocons did the best next thing. They proposed a putative annihilation of the world before your very eyes. I was just happy to peel back the curtain and reveal the less than staggering consequences for all to see and enjoy. Those other fellows will probably tell you that they didn’t mean it, or that they misinterpreted some omen. I’ll just tell you I hoped you got a decent laugh out of it. Thankfully, the world — though still a very scary place — is still open for business.
So goodbye everybody, and remember, please, for the next day or so, the terrible lesson you learned on August 22. That grinning, glowing invader of your living room … is merely your wireless laptop … and if your doorbell rings and nobody’s there, that was no Mahdi … it was a blogger.