MILWAUKEE — Internet threats of “dirty bomb” attacks at NFL stadiums this weekend were a hoax inspired by a writing competition between two men trying to come up with scary threats.

The threats, which were posted last week and mentioned stadiums in seven U.S. cities — including New York, where the Lions play Sunday — were deemed to be false by the FBI after agents questioned a 20-year-old Milwaukee man.

A statement from the FBI and Homeland Security said fans “should be reassured of their security as they continue to attend sporting events.”

Whew, that’s a relief.  The fact that this all happened due to a “writing competition,” however, leads to one inevitable conclusion:  writing is dangerous and should be banned.  Are you with me?  Mime your congressman!