MINNEAPOLIS (AP) – Six friends spruced up in fake blood and tattered clothing were arrested in downtown Minneapolis on suspicion of toting “simulated weapons of mass destruction.”
Police said the group were allegedly carrying bags with wires sticking out, making it look like a bomb, while meandering and dancing to music as part of a “zombie dance party” Saturday night.
“They were arrested for behavior that was suspicious and disturbing,” said Lt. Gregory Reinhardt, a police spokesman. Police also said the group was uncooperative and intimidated people with their “ghoulish” makeup.
Full article here. As if I’m not already scared of the real thing, these knuckleheads have to go around pretending to be zombies.
I guess the silver lining here is that they were easily outed as fakes. Real zombies are not merely “uncooperative” — they are terrifying cannibals. What I wouldn’t give if real zombies were merely uncooperative.
September 15, 2007 at 2:55 am
Hi everybody,
what do you think?
September 15, 2007 at 3:12 am
Big Jake. I think this is good because I was having trouble too.
September 15, 2007 at 3:45 am
Hey sweetheart!
I missed you!
How have you been?
September 15, 2007 at 10:19 am
Jake & Amy-
Thanks for the info.
I had my meeting with the counselor yesterday. According to her I’m not doing good. She says I have lots of anger. I wonder why. That’s why I never went to one of these people before. They tell you common sense crap and they get paid to do it. What a racket. I like her but I think these sessions are for crazy people. I’m not crazy. I deal with my own problems.
We talked about going after studman. She needs to talk with Bethany and break it to her so she can begin to accept it and realize a crime was comitted against her. Bethany doesn’t know any of this is going on and the counselor seems to think she’s in no condition to handle it now. Bethany is scheduled to see her 3 times a week and starting next week the counselor is going to discuss this incident with her. In the mean time she’s going to set in motion the complaint with the police and this lawyer. I don’t know what that means but we need Bethany to talk about it. Bethany doesn’t like talking about it with me. I’ve tried and she clams up or cries or just clings to me begging forgiveness. I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s a bunch of shit, I know that. Part of me wants to just sell the house and get the hell out of here and before we leave hunt this guy down and beat the living shit out of him, gas up and go. Let them try to figure it out and find me. I don’t think they’ll spend the money and time trying to locate a pissed off husband. This guy deserves jail and a beating. I’m not going to ruin my family I’m just talking out loud on here. Telling you my thoughts. I like doing this better than having that counselor probe around my head and ask me personal shit that’s none of her business. She asked me how I feel making love to Bethany now. I don’t talk about stuff like that so those questions irritate me. She jumped from that to all this anger about not having a family growing up. I don’t think I have anger about that. After we nail this guy I think I’ll dump these sessions because I don’t like them.
I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to let you both know I appreciate your help. You’re good people. I was wrong about you Amy. You’re a good gir. Good luck with your marriage. If anything like what happened to Bethany and I happened to you and Nick, Nick could do whatever he wanted and get away with it. His buds would look the other way.
September 15, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Tony:
What you are going through IS painful. I know because I went through counseling and so did Amy.
That’s why I suggested that you let Linda read what you are writing here. It will help you to come to grips with your feelings. It will help her to see where you are , where your anger is ,how to better deal with it. It will help her to better act with you in comming to a solution on the problem with the creep.
You see Tony, you HAVE worked through alot of your anger already. You were very angry at Bethany. I think you have put that behind you now that you understand the situation. You realized what happened ,why it happened ,how it happened.
You were (and still are) depressed over Sammy’s death. That’s normal. You are working to help Bethany with her depression.
Linda ’s mediation is very important to reaching Bethany and helping you both fully understand the problems ,come up with solutions and get on with your lives.
The main thing is that both you and Bethany love each other. We know you love each other very much.
Jake
September 15, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Went to the hardware store this morning. Ran into the creep. Lost it. Threw him around and had him up against some shelves.
We both got kicked out of the store and I told him when we got out if he ever came near my wife again I’d kill him.
He’s scared. He ran to his truck and sped off.
I almost chased him but didn’t.
Couldn’t help myself.
September 15, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Tony:
Feel better? You have self control. That’s good.
You didn’t chase him.
He’s probably in the Bronx by now.
We are all praying for you , Bethany & TJ.
Take care of your family!
God Bless you all
Jake
September 16, 2007 at 2:41 am
Jake-
I must’ve really scared the shit out of the guy. I got served with a retraining order.
I’m a little plasetered right now. I wanted to talk to you becaise I think you’re smarter than my therapist. I went out with a couple of friends. Bethany’s mad at me for ruffing up the creep. He IS a creep too. Man, I’m making so many typos I have to keepgoing back and changing things. Jake, you’re a good man. You are. I would’ve liked you to be my Dad. Here I am wasted, Bethany’s pissed, and I’ve got me a restraining order against the biggest asshole in Wichita. What do yoU make of that? I can’t figure it out. I love my wife. I give her a great house, she doesn’t have to work, we have the american dream and some guy comes a long a nd can screw it all up And then there’s you. You have a good life. Amy has a good life. I had a good lif e and then it goes to t shit. I’m all ascrewed up. I’m wasted. I am drunk as a skink. I mean skunk. I’m wasted but I want to talk to youb ecause you’re the only won I tdrust. I trust you. I don’t know you bu t I trust you more than that stupdi woeman . she’s crazy. asking me all kinds of ques5tions aobut bethanay and me.I’m going to be sorry tomorrow awhen I read this because I’m drunk but I had to drink because I’m all messed up about everything. the terhapest is right becuase I’m don’t know whaat to think. bethany is my wife iAnd I love her. She’s all theat I ‘ve eve lived my whole life. seh’s pissed coause I went out drinking but I saw that goof ball dtoday and I want to kiskc the shit out of him. He’s a jerk. He’s a pussy. I hate that guy and anw what he did to me and my life and myw ife. I love my Bethany. Jake she’s the most woendrufl girl. I’m dtelling you she is. She’s great. She’s a good wofie. you shoudlsee all the nice hings that she sdoes. She is so great. The house is spotless, she’s smeelss so good all the time, she’s soft and nice. seh never swerars. She is so nice. Ilove oher so much. I love her I love her. I love so much. She doesn’t know how much I loce her. And sammy. Samm y was a sweet little girl. She was littel. And soft. And she died. She shouldn’t hav died. I don’t wknow whwy she did. She died. And i wish was back. I got drunk to night. becauce I miss her and becuase Imiss how things yused o be with Behtan. I’m sorry. I’ll be sorry when I see what I mess aI am. I’m loaded bad. I had to drink brecasue I’m a mess. Some of m y foster parenets ihit me. They were mean. then I ment Behtany. She was so nice. She was the nices tp ersosn[erson. I eerever met. I lover her so much and I was a shity husband. Ididin’t keep ehr from this jakcass . i messted up. And now he’s given me a retrstrainging. order. What a jerk. What an absolute asshole to the max. He’s so cascraed scr scared of me. Youshould’ve seen the look in his eyes. He was sweateing bullets. He was cscared. H e was scared of what I was going to do. If theose stupid guys wouldn’t have pulled me off him I’d have riipeed his throat out. He’s toast. Ibetter neve see him again. Whatn an asshole. to go afrer someone ’s whife. just because she’s so prertty. my wife is really pretty. she has long brown hair and blue eyes. shes’ so pretty and nice. she never talks bad about people or swears. she’s so nice. i love her so much. we had a nice family. we had a perfect family ujtil sammy died and thene verythig went to shit. whey jake, why does shit like this happen t good people? she’s piss ed because I”m loaded . and turst me I’mloaded. but you’re my friend and you’llhelp me. i know yo will help me. you will. You won’t bmkead me feel bad beuase iI”M rera trashed and I am totally trashed but I feel good becuse I’m trashed. Do yo believe that stupid ass had a restraining horder put on me. what a jerk. what an ass. I don’t care about theorder.befucause if I see him, I’m goiin g to kicik the hell of out him. I hit him in the mouth a few times and he was bleeding it made me feel good. If they would’nt have pulled me off him I’d have beat him more and I wanted to beat him good. He’s a peache of shit. toatal shit and I hat e his guts.
Jake, I like you. don’t let me down. I’m trashed and I”l pbrobably be sorry tomorrow that I wrote andything but I’don’t car eirhgth now becuase I’m trashed. bethany is pissed but she’ll get ove it. I’m sure she will. if not, ohw ewell, life will go on it wlawsyws does.
see yo tomooroow.b
o
September 16, 2007 at 2:47 am
JKE. i LOCi LOVE MY BETHANY WITH ALL MY HEAR T AND I WILL NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE AS LONG AS i LIVE. i LOVE HER JAKE. iLOVE HER ANED I’LLL NEVE RL LETT ANYONE HURT HER AGAIN. iL VOE HER SHE’S A GOOD GIRL AND i LVOE. HER. i DO ILOVE HER. I’M GOING TO GO TELL HER I LOVE HER WITH ALL MHY HAREAR T AND I HOPE SHE FORGIVES ME FOR BEING TRASHED BUT I NEEDED TO GET TRASHED TONIGHT AND I’M SORRY BUT I NEEDED TO. I LVOBE MY BETHANY. IL OBE ILOBE B ILOVE BETHAN. ILOBE I LOVE BETHANY.
September 16, 2007 at 3:02 am
hEY jAKE, i JUST LOOKED AT BETAHNY AND i WANT TO TELL YOU SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD. i KNOW YYO LOVE YOUR WIFE AND THAT AMY IS SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY PRETTY AN SHE’D BPROBABLY IS, BUT i LOOKED AT BETHANY AND i THOUGHT SHE IS THE most beautiful thing I’ve eve r seen in m life. she is so beautiful. you should see her. she is beuaiful. she’s so small and pretty. long brown soft hair. her eyes are big anblues. she’s so very pretty. when I first saw her I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d eve seen in mylife. she so pretty. and she’s nice too. that’s what got me at first. she so snice. so nice. she was such a lady. she never was mean to people and so quiet. she s just wanted tob e loved and I loved her so much. she was so soft. a and i used ot to hold her hand. she like thtat. she used to tell me she liked it when i held her hand. she was so soft. she never said a mean word about anything. even when we were first married she’d never get mad abpit abpit about anything. she was always nice. she never wanted me to get mad. she would make good food all the time bake stuff i liked. she was so nice. she used to spray fperfume on our sheets and then she’d giggle when i got in bed. s he was so sweet. what happaned jake? what happened to us? why did I screw us like I did and not protect eher? hos did i let this happen? how could I let someone hurt her right under my eyes? what the hell kind of a man am I jake? I’mnot a man at all I didn’t take care or of my wife and now she’s hurt and hurt bad. this can’t be happeneing to me. I loved her i lawyss loved my bethany I love her so much it’s killing me that ididn’t do righ t by her. she’s a nice girl too nice. she’s just tood nice for this crzy nutty fuckin world. whe’s tooo nice.
September 16, 2007 at 5:30 am
Tony:
I hope you get a good night’s sleep,pardner.
Sometimes ,it does a fella good to get stinkin drunk like you did tonight. Because in the morning, he wakes up with a good 6 alarm headache and vows to NEVER do it again.
He then asks himself ,did I say or do anything to embarass myself?
He can’t remember what he could have said ,so he forgets about it and most likely goes and does it all over again the next time.
Well I guess you will be asking the same questions of yourself tomorrow morning while holding a cold compress to your head.
All you have to do is read the three paragraphs to see what you sound like drunk.
What do we have here?
1- you love Bethany!—- that’s good!
2 -Bethany is the most beautiful girl you ever saw! —–that’s very good too!
3- she apparently loves you and always has
thats very very good! perfumed sheets and lots of giggles –hot damn!
4- she is pissed that you are drunk as a skunk—– that’s never good,not at all,in fact,that’s bad. (don’t worry too much.she’ll get over it.)
5- you got slapped with a restraining order -that’s bad you let skunkboy know you are gunning for him and he is trying to get the law on his side.
6- you STILL want to go after him to beat him up. —BAD,BAD,VERY BAD. YOU BETTER LOSE THIS IDEA FAST,SONNY OR YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF IN JAIL GIVING SKUNKBOY A CLEAR PATH TO GO AFTER BETHANY AGAIN. AND THIS TIME SHE MIGHT JUST HAVE SYMPATHY FOR THIS NO GOOD SKUNK!
Now ,are you ready to do things right or are you going to screw it all up?
No contact with skunkboy-OK ? Do I make myself crystal clear or do I have to draw you a picture?
Meet with the therapist and the lawyer and file the criminal complaint already!
Tony- the drinking thing- you have to quit. Its either BETHANY AND TJ or BOOZE.
Make your choice.
Jake
September 16, 2007 at 5:06 pm
6 alarm? more like a 12 alarm. Drank too many shots.
Sorry if I offended you or anyone else that reads my garbage.
I won’t bother the site again.
Thanks for all you tried to do.
September 16, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Tony:
What the hell is the matter with YOU!
YOU WROTE:
Sorry if I offended you or anyone else that reads my garbage.
I won’t bother the site again.
Thanks for all you tried to do.
I told you I don’t abandon the people I care about.
Are you a quitter?
What about Bethany and TJ?
Get in the game ,bud before the parade passes you by.
What’s up with you?
I expect you to follow through with this
and the only way I’ll be offended is if you bug out like you indicate you might by “not bothering this site again”.
Goofus,YOU and BETHANY and TJ ARE FAMILY
HERE!!!
JAKE
September 16, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Tony:
What the hell is the matter with YOU!
YOU WROTE:
Sorry if I offended you or anyone else that reads my garbage.
I won’t bother the site again.
Thanks for all you tried to do.
September 16, 2007 at 5:55 pm
I told you I don’t abandon the people I care about.
Are you a quitter?
What about Bethany and TJ?
Get in the game ,bud before the parade passes you by.
What’s up with you?
I expect you to follow through with this
and the only way I’ll be offended is if you bug out like you indicate you might by “not bothering this site again”.
Goofus,YOU and BETHANY and TJ ARE FAMILY
HERE!!!
JAKE
September 16, 2007 at 8:18 pm
I just feel like shit for being in the bag and making an ass out of myself. Writing that stupid trash while I was drunk. I know better. I was pissed because I got served that restraining order, a couple of friends came by right afterward and they took me out to cool me off and relax. That’s all that happened.
Bethany has been great today. Hasn’t even mentioned it. I told her I was sorry and she just hugged me & said men will be men. The restraining order upsets her. She doesn’t want any trouble and I didn’t tell her about the incident at the store before I got the order so when I got that she freaked out. I think she just wants us to forget about asshole and go on with things. I think when she finds out I want to file a complaint she’ll freak again.
I don’t know. This thing is turning me into a nut.
September 16, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Tony;
Well, glad your feeling better!
Read your three posts again (8,9,10)-nothing to be ashamed about. But you have to get a grip,ok?
If you go against the restraining order, you will end up in jail.
Skunkboy may have something else up his sleeve.
He may file assault charges against you now and have you arrested. You better be prepared for it. He has witnesses,all the guys in the hardware store. The procedure is the same one that Amy laid out for you.
I know you couldn’t resist going after him. If I was there I would have stopped you,but I’m not there.
What did Bethany say about the restraining order? Did she ask who,why and what for?
What did you tell her?
Don’t do ANYTHING to put your relationship in danger, but be aware you are subject to assault charges. If he knows enough to get the restraining order,he can very easily get the arrest warrant.
You may have given yourself no other choice but to file the criminal complaint in order to defend yourself on possible assault charges pending.
What is skunkboy’s educational background? Is he smart enough to know his way around the legal system?
If he feels he was within his rights to go after Bethany, then he would feel that you were in the wrong for assaulting him. He may try to get you arrested and out of the picture and go after her again ,this time to get one up on you.
Please THINK. Don’t be a hot head like Sonny Corleone in “The Godfather”.
Jake
September 17, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Tony ,Amy ,Shelby:
We seem to be disconnecting . I guess it’s that we all have alot going on in our own lives. I am going to take a break from this for a while . I will check in from time to time so if you need to talk ,just drop a line.
If not, it’s been a real nice experience being here and I hope I was able to help you all, in some way make your life a little easier.
Love you guys,
Jake
September 17, 2007 at 6:52 pm
My Dear Jake, you are the most wonderful friend and you’ve helped me in many, many ways. I love you for it, too.
I have been very busy and I don’t have the time like I used to. Nick’s friend flew in from Colorado for a few days. I’m just buys getting things for the wedding, fixing the house, moving my things over there…it’s been hectic.
I’ll check in from time to time, too,
I love you all, but I really love you, Jake. Thanks for all the fatherly advice you’ve given me. Your wife and kids are lucky.
September 17, 2007 at 7:31 pm
lovesamerica:
Amy, you always will have a very special place in my heart.
I wish you and Nick a very happy Wedding day ,a long life together blessed with love and happiness, a happy home ,happy, healthy kids, abundance in all good things and that special bond that true lovers share to get them through life’s rough patches should they pop up.
Please check in as I will because I know that I will miss you dearly.
(You got me all misty again)
Love you always,
Uncle Jake
September 18, 2007 at 12:30 am
Jake-
I wasn’t jilting you. Bethany had her session today. I called Linda and told her about the restraining order and she asked me to stop by after work. I did, and Bethany was in the same room. The restraining order is a temporary restraining order. That must be something different than a regular one. I don’t know because I never got one before. But I have to go to a hearing on Friday to discuss it. Linda and the lawyer are filed a complaint. He’s probably getting arrested as we speak. The lawyer also said based on what’s happened any charges he tries to press will be dismissed. He got Bethany drunk. He started coming over to our house and talked to her on our deck. He brought over booze and had her drink telling her it would make her feel better. So he basically got her intoxicated so he could have her. If you can believe it I’m even more pissed. It happened twice. The second time she tried to get him to leave but he wouldn’t go. That’s why she ended up telling me because she was all messed up and wanted me to intervene. Don’t tell me what a stupid ass I am because I know. Linda has some kind of name for her depression when I remember it I’ll tell you. Bethany is very scared of this complaint but Linda reassured her she did nothing wrong and was taken advantage of and she will stand there with her. Bethany is exhausted. It may be her medication but I think she’s very stressed. She kept asking me when we got home if I still loved her and telling me she’s not trash. I know she’s not trash. She said the first time it happened she thought she was dreaming. She’s so messed up about it I’m not sure how accurate she is. She’s just very fragile and I’m afraid for her. The lawyer thinks it’s a good case. I hope so. And no one at the hardware store saw me do that. The isle we were in was clear and they came after I had him up against the shelves. So they don’t know who started what. That’s why they kicked us both out. So he can say what he wants. I’ll deny it if it will hurt me. I walked up to him and asked him if he knew who I was. He said Bethany’s husband. So I smashed him in the mouth. Then I picked him up and threw him into the shelves. I hit him again and then the people were yelling and then these guys pulled me off. I’m not worried about it. I know it wasn’t very smart but something in me snapped. Linda wants me to go on medication. I told her to foget it.
I just thought I’d let you know what’s going on. You may not check back because you’re exiting for a while. I’m sure you have enough of your own problems to want to hear all this crap.
You’re a cool guy. Thanks man. In case you want to know, you helped me a lot. You saved my marriage. You brought me back to my wife. I love her and I promise you I’ll be good to her for the rest of my life.
September 18, 2007 at 1:12 am
Tony:
Sounds like the best of both worlds. You were able to pop him in the mouth AND he gets arrested to boot.
He not only took advantage of Bethany’s depression,he also used alcohol to get his way. He had knowlege that she was depressed and plied her with booze to make it a sure thing. That and the comments to her that he wanted to split you both up tell you all you need to know about him.
Question- WHY DID THE FIRST LAWYER SAY YOU DIDN’T HAVE A CASE? Sounds open and shut to me.
When I said I was going to take a break, it was because you,Amy and Shelby seemed to have stopped posting.
I always monitor the site like a guardian angel if you know what I mean . So even if there is no activity ,if you need me just drop a line.
I said I don’t abandon the people I care about.
On another note ,I received a very nice e-mail from our other Guardian angel,Quay Fortuna. He also monitors the site & removes abusive postings.
Quay ,let me thank you for your kind words and compliments regarding our community here. You deserve the compliments because you foster the good will and encourage the free exchange of ideas on thes threads.
you wrote:
We’ll never hear a constitutional scholar say it, but a community simply does not work unless people are willing to participate in it. Or, more importantly, a community in which the inhabitants do not meaningfully interact with each other on matters of ethics and social welfare is not a community at all. Rather, it is simply a mob, an anonymous random selection of human lives inevitably subject to the moral ambiguity of “mob rule,” in which sociopathic behavior is unfortunately often rewarded.
Our little community here is what you are talking about and we thank you for giving us the oppertunity to interact.
Our country would be a better place if we all would try to live up to these principles. And if we had someone such as you,Quay, in political office.
God bless
Jake
September 18, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Hi Jake! I’m glad Quay lets us use his site. He can see how much you help all of us. Thanks, Quay.
I have to be out of my apartment by the end of the month. I have been renting month to month since June. It’s a pain packing things! I didn’t know I had so much! Most of my furniture is at the house and we took my computer over Saturday. That’s why I haven’t been on in the mornings. My bed will be the last to go.
Our house looks sharp. Everything is just about done. I papered the bathroom. It’s beautiful. Bought new curtains for every room. The house used to be so bland and I turned it into a country cottage. I love it. So does Nick. Everyone says it’s cozy and that’s how I want it to be. Nice and homey and cozy.
Nick’s friend is flying up to see my sister this weekend!!! He’s going to see her in just a few weeks but he said he couldn’t wait and he got a good deal. I think he’s falling for her. They talk every night on the phone. Anita has it bad for him.
I think it’s great the way you guided Tony into seeing thing show they really are. I’m glad that jerk is going to jail. That’s where he belongs. I can’t understand why anyone would be so low. What a creep. Tony, I’ve grown to really like you and I know you’ll be very happy. I just know it. God Bless You.
Shelby, Dave……..what’s up with you guys????
Love you.
September 18, 2007 at 3:25 pm
lovesamerica:
Hi Amy!
Your lovenest is almost complete.
Now for your Prince Charming to carry you through the threshold!
He is one lucky man,your Nick. That he is!
And he knows it too!
How old is Anita? When does she graduate?
Sounds like her “Robocop” has his radar locked in on her!
Did Mom mellow out any? How does she feel about Anita and her love interest?
Maybe mom sees how much you and Nick love
each other and it had a positive effect on her. We can only hope.
Tony and Bethany- they are on the road to recovery. Bethany needs acceptance and love from Tony to get better -demonstrative love.
He will give it to her because theirs is a deep and true love . They want only each other and to make a loving home for TJ.
Funny thing about true love. It doesn’t die sespite the storms ,trials and tribulations of life. It may die down to a flicker,but with encouragement it will become a roaring fre in intensity as it is now for them.
Funny ,you almost have to lose something to realize how really important it is .Then you vow to never to lose it again, You guard it jealouslyfor the rest of your life. That’s how Tony feels now. Bethany too.
I miss Shelby and Dave too. Wish they would check in.
Love ya Greeneyes!
Jake
September 18, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Jake, Amy –
All I can say is — thank you! You and your friends make it all worthwhile!
Peace,
QF
September 18, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Quay:
And I was all set to head up your NY/NJ
Election campaign!
aw shucks!
Jake
September 19, 2007 at 12:09 am
Tony:
Might be a good idea to go out and get some
romantic CD’S for you and Bethany . You know,after dinner,after you put TJ to bed-
Surprise your beautiful wife .
Pop in the CD, turn the lights down low
and take her in your arms…..
a slow dance for you and Bethany :
HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY ? (Rod Stewart)
Words and Music by: Van Morrison
Have I Told You Lalety that I love you?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you?
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.
For the morning sun in all it’s glory,
Meets the day with hope and comfort too,
You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.
There’s a love less defined,
And its yours and its mine,
Like the sun.
And at the end of the day,
We should give thanks and pray,
To The One, to The One.
Have I Told You Lately that I love you?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you?
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.
There’s a love less defined,
And its yours and its mine,
Like the sun.
And at the end of the day,
We should give thanks and pray,
To The One, to The One.
Have I Told You Lately That I Love you?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you?
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that’s waht you do.
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.
Jake
September 19, 2007 at 12:50 am
Jake-
When I talked to the other lawyer I hadn’t seen a counselor yet so he really had nothing to go on except what I was telling him. He made me feel like I was making excuses for Bethany. At that time I didn’t know he had given Bethany alcohol so that lawyer didn’t know that either. He made me feel like I was in some kind of denial about it and didn’t want to believe my wife would do that on her own. If I had had Linda then and if he would’ve talked with her he might’ve felt differently. I haven’t heard anything from this lawyer yet, but I did talk to Linda earlier and she said the creep was denying that he did anything wrong. She’s not worried about it and she told me not to be. She said any expert talking with Bethany would know she was in major depression. She also told me that Bethany is still not accepting losing Sammy. She sort of told me the same thing you did, that I need to be demonstrative. She said just me being back there will make Bethany do better. I sure hope so. I want her back like she was. She doesn’t want to do anything anymore. She doesn’t smile much and she cries over nothing. She still stares our the window once in awhile like she’s in another world. She’s always tired. She’s lost about 25 pounds total. She always wants to be next to me and she wants me to hold her. She’s so sad. It makes me feel like shit. I tell her I love her and I hold her. She likes to lay in my arms. She always asks me if she can. She just needs the security I guess. I really love her. She still takes care of TJ well and does housework. I had her quit the beauty shop. She doesn’t need to be there and she wasn’t showing up half the time anyway. She has no energy. But she does function around the house. She cooks and grocery shops and she plays with TJ. She holds him a lot and sometimes she goes in his bed and sleeps with him. I don’t want her to baby him too much so he turns into some sissy. He’s a little young yet so I’m too worried.
I don’t have time when I’m working to do this. I would’ve liked to today because I was feeling down. I don’t want this thing with this guy to mess up Bethany any more than it already has. I don’t want them to pick on her with questions, stuff like that. I have a short fuse as it is about this and if rotten things start getting said I won’t be able to take too much of it. We had an offer on our house, too. They want to come back and look at it again and another couple is scheduled to look at it Thursday. I like this house. I feel bad selling it, but I can’t wait to get away from here and start new. I think it will be best for Bethany. I called her Mom and told her what was going on. She was very upset and is making plans to fly out here as soon as possible. She’s been calling Bethany everyday and she told me not to worry about money or anything. She said she’d pay to put the S.O.B. away for good.
I’m going to take you up on your idea about the CD and slow dance. After TJ goes to bed tonight I’ll do that. I want Bethany to know she never has to worry about me leaving again. I was a such a dumb ass for reacting like I did. Everything was so shitty for so long between us I guess I was just screwed up. It’s my fault this happened. It’s all my fault. I wasn’t smart enough to see what was happening to her. I just thought time would heal everything and stuff would get back to normal. I never thought it would take the nose dive that it did. I am a shitty husband. I don’t even feel like a man.
Thanks for being here. You made me open up and I’m glad you did. We’ll be okay. What you said to Amy was true. I’ll never let anything come between Bethany and me again. No one will ever hurt her again. Especially me.
September 19, 2007 at 1:57 am
Tony:
I call it like I see it,don’t I?
I have given it to you straight. I pulled no punches with you and you listened .
Now I’m going to tell you something else. Stop beating yourself up!
If you were such a lousy husband,you wouldn’t have been open to my suggestions. You would still be blaming Bethany ,not yourself.
You are a real man. You are a good husband!
You love your wife more than life itself. You were always faithful to her. Most men who thought that their wives had cheated on the would have gone on the proverbial road trip. You know 31 skanks in 31 days!
You didn’t do that.
YOU LISTENED .
YOU WENT TO YOUR WIFE .
YOU ASKED FOR GOD’S HELP!
YOU WENT TO CHURCH.
YOU FORGAVE YOUR WIFE.
THEN YOU ACCEPTED FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT WENT WRONG!
TONY YOU ARE A REAL MAN! YOU LOVE BETHANY!
HAVE SOME FUN,BE ROMANTIC WITH HER!
MAKE TIME FOR BOTH OF YOU TOGETHER,DATE TIME.
I would try setting an hour a night to sit and talk,listen to music together,slow dance to romantic music,watch a romantic comedy -do sonmething different every night,surprise her! She will look forward to it. She will get into it.
Smile at her,laugh with her,
have fun with her!
You will see her depression lift as well as your own.
Prt of your depression is caused by your self blame.
Part of her depression is caused by your depression.
Break the cycle,Tony!
And don’t forget ,I am here for you.
Uncle Jake
September 19, 2007 at 2:07 am
Tony:
Another thing -25 pounds is too much of a weight loss. Bethany has to build up.
TRY GETTING HER TO HAVE THE SUPPLEMENTS TWICE A DAY. ENSURE or SUSTICAL.
Try an ice cream sundae for her for dessert.
you can have a piece of pie and coffee or else you will find yourself packing on the weight too!
September 19, 2007 at 1:55 pm
“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”
John Wayne
September 19, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Tony:
I want you to control your anger when it comes to that creep.
If he goes to jail ,how long do you think pretty boy will last? He will get what’s coming to him. That’s the way the system works as a deterrent to crime .
part of an article on geocities.com:
Entering prison for the first time can be a frightening experienced The noise level is what strikes you and it is unlike any noise that you have ever heard before. It’s human noise and clamor. That, coupled with the sight of those dreary bars, made me think, “Man, what have I gotten myself into here?!” When you have entered prison, you have entered a world unto itself. Each prison is different. What applies to one prison certainly will not apply to another. Generally, certain common things will take place. You will be taken off of a bus or other transport, and led into the prison. While this is taking place, other inmates will be “sizing you up”, and jeering at you, trying to intimidate you through fences, windows, etc. Keep your eyes forward, do NOT respond, and ignore it. Period. Once you are inside the prison, you will have to go through any number of humiliating experiences. You will get your photograph taken for your commisary card. You may be questioned. You WILL be strip searched. This is a very impersonal, and not at all private procedure. You and your fellow new prisoners will be hearded together like cattle, and then made to form a line. You will be forced to strip, and stand in line, sometimes for more than an hour. …After this process is done, you will generally be issued your staples. Your prison uniform, your blanket, etc. and sometimes a sack lunch. Then you enter the prison.
Nothing generally happens at first, but it will. You can count on someone paying you a visit, or someone stepping to you while you’re eating and trying to take your food, etc. Unless you are sexually threatened, or you feel that your life is in SERIOUS danger, it is best to fight. Fight hard. As hard as you can without weapons until a hack comes and stops it. This will gain you respect. It won’t keep you from having problems ever again, but there is no shortage of people who are so scared that they will submit to just about anything. If you are not one of those people, you’re less likely to have a problem. This stuff is usually a power issue, with someone who has some inner cowardice and wants to punk out someone to look/feel harder.
If you are stepped to sexually, or you feel like you run the risk of death, than do whatever you can to protect yourself. It is better to kill a predator than to be their prey. The other option, is to become chattel. Someones slave, who they can pimp out for money, drugs, commisary items, etc, and this is more often than not the case.
If you are ever raped, there is a certain way this horrible situation must be handled. People who have never been to prison think it can never happen to them. Don’t ever think that. You have to have it firmly set in your mind, and make sure others know that you realize you are not superman, and that it could happen, but it will never happen twice. If you are raped, you HAVE to kill the attacker immediately (or as soon as possibly) afterwards. This will prevent it from ever happening again. No piece of ass is worth dying over, and predators will move on to easier and more complacent victims if they feel like you have the will and fortitude to kill them if it happens. Often, if you show a willingness to fight, other inmates will help you out. This may come in the form of them telling someone not to fuck with you, to providing you with shanks/other weapons to kill the individual, etc.
Some people are of the notion that it is better to accept rape, or giving up your food, or any other type of submissive position, especially if you are a short timer and will be getting out soon. This is absolutely WRONG. First, you have a right to live as dignified a life as possibly. Secondly, if you are EVER sent back up, or catch more time whle you’re inside, or are transferred to another joint, your rep will follow you, and you will be destined for a life of a lot more of the same. This type of situation also almost ALWAYS has a snowballing effect. It never stops at something simple. Make one concession and you’ll be making them for the rest of your life (however long or short that may end up being!).
the uncensored version can be accessed at the following link-it’s not pretty.
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Congress/6425/survival.html
Jake
September 19, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Hi Jake. I got on here all happy and then I read that prison thing and it made me sick. That would be horrible to go through that. I hope I never get framed for anything. I know I’m a girl, but I hear the girls prisons arn’t much better. People turn into animals in those places.
What I wanted to tell you was, my sister will turn 22 in December. She’ll graduate in June. Anita hasn’t told my Mom she talks to this guy all the time. She lives on campus anyway so she won’t know what Anita’s doing. That’s probably a good thing. I hope she doesn’t blow it with this guy because he’s really nice and darn cute. I’ve told her to act like a lady and be sweet. She really is that way most of the time, but sometimes she’s gets crazy and if she has a few drinks she starts hanging on guys, that kind of stuff. But she is awful pretty. Much prettier than me. Nicer figure, too. I just want her to meet a nice guy and find happiness. Like I did. She and Mom are big flirts. I was never good at flirting. I was always shy. She wears the red lipstick and she has the big pouty lips just like Mom and men just go all goofy when they see her. I wish I’d gotten some of that fluff. Nick thinks I’m beautiful so that’s all that matters and I think he’s the best catch ever. I’m very happy. And as far as Mom seeing how Nick and I are and maybe impressing her, NO WAY. She actually told me at one point I was a step above a doormat the way I wait on him. I told her I wasn’t waiting on him, I’m “taking care of him” and I love doing it. She said she didnt’ care what I called it was sickening. Whatever. She’ll critisize me til the day I die.
Tony, please do what Jake says in #29!! He KNOWS just what we like and Bethany will feel so cherished. I love it when Nick scoops me up in his arms or strokes my hair while we’re talking. I love it. So will Bethany. I’m sure a romantic guy and Jake’s the King, so listen. I want you to know I pray for you every day. I feel in my heart everything will fall into place and your life will get back to normal.
Jake, I liked the John Wayne quote. Every day is a new beginning. A chance to change. It’s hopeful when we remember that. We always have a 2nd chance. Especially with God. He’s the God of 2nd chances!!
Love you all…big hug, Jake.
September 20, 2007 at 2:34 am
Amy ;
you wrote:
Nick thinks I’m beautiful so that’s all that matters and I think he’s the best catch ever. I’m very happy.
That’s all that really counts,right?
And this doormat stuff- As long as Nick doesn’t treat you like a doormat, you just keep doing what you are doing for him and he will love you forever.
You do the things you do out of love . He does the same. A HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE SUPPOSED TO PUT EACH OTHER FIRST. nO SELFISHNESS.
It’s called personal humiility and love.
Your mom doesn’t understand it and therefore. her relationships are doomed to fail.
love
Jake
September 20, 2007 at 1:10 pm
lovesamerica:
Hi Amy,
I have been wanting to tell you something for a while now.
I am very happy that you ended up with Nick instead of Mike. I really believe that Mike is mentally unstable and it took everything that happened up to and including you being slapped by him to come to that conclusion.
You are right, everything revolved around him not around you both as a couple. He didn’t put you first in all things as he should have.
His outbursts ,recklessness, assault on Nick
while Nick was on duty all indicated that he has deep seated problems.
Nick on the other hand showed tremendous restraint in dealing with Mike. Nick was a real gentleman.
And Nick knows intimately what happens in prison. He could have put Mike away on a couple of occasions.
How long do you think Mike would have lasted? After reading post 32, he would have been assaulted by a bigger and tougher inmate or inmates on numerous occasions.
He wouldn’t have walked out of prison as a “man”, if at all. He would have been either killed or committed suicide.
No ,Nick could have abused his power but he really did show restraint.
If,however, he had known that Mike had slapped you, I think Mike would have been in prison, forced to wear lipstick and making lots of “friends” if you know what I mean.
Take good care of your Capt. America!
love ,
Jake
September 20, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Jake-
The DA dropped the case. Not enough evidence. He says he never touched her, that he only talked to her and felt sorry for her because she was always crying. Bethany’s testimony changes everytime you talk to her. The counselor is even confused and I’m pissed at all of them. Bethany isn’t sure if anything happened or not. She thinks so, but she’s not sure if she imagined it or not. There are no witnesses. No one ever saw them together. He said they never even went out to dinner. He said he’d come over and sit on the deck with her but he never did anything. I don’t know what to think. I have to go to a hearing tomorrow and I guess this creep says he won’t press charges now that he understands what all this is about. Bethany has got some explaining to do, I know that. Now I think she told me that because she wanted me jealous. I wasn’t paying any attention to her, we drifted apart, she’s depressed, and I think maybe she made up the whole thing and even believes it. I don’t know any more. I love her and all, but this is crap.
I accepted an offer on our house. We’ll be out of here in 60 days. Put this whole mess behind us and start over. This has been a nightmare.
Thanks for everything.
September 21, 2007 at 1:33 am
Tony:
Wow. I’m speechless.
I saw your post at work this afternoon and I have been thinking about it all day.
Bethany feels guilt for her reaction to you
when you took the nursery down. She blames herself for causing you to dive into your work and ignore her.
She isolated herself with her grief making it almost impossible to reach her.
September 21, 2007 at 3:04 am
Tony:
I AM HAVING TROUBLE POSTING.
September 21, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Tony:
I guess we’re back. To continue with post 36, You withdrew from Bethany because of her “coldness” and anger.
She sat on your deck and cried. Joe stud saw her and went over to talk to her.
She enjoyed the male attention and let her fantasies run away with her.
September 21, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Then she felt guilty about even “thinking” about another man.
Fantasy ,Reality,fantasy,reality….
GUILT and Self Blame.
Tony, she is a good girl and she COULDN’T
cheat even if she wanted to.
Love your wife and get her to forgive herself.
Did you ever have a nightmare that was so real that you woke up in a cold sweat? Then when you realized you were only dreaming …..What a relief!
THAT’S WHAT YOU HAVE HERE.
And Joe Stud gets knocked around and ends up with a fat lip. The poor guy probably didn’t do anything,got beaten up,scared out of his wits,got arrested spent the night in jail. And noW he understands and probably won’t press charges.
Take care of your wife,Tony. New start.
Tomorrow IS the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.
Jake
September 21, 2007 at 4:14 pm
I don’t know what she did, but I’m bumming. I didn’t go to work today because I have that hearing at 11:30. I hope I don’t get in trouble. Apparently he’s not going to do anything, but I could get some kind of fine or have to pay in something to him for pain and suffering. I feel like a jerk.
And Bethany. What should I do about her? She still looks at me and cries and says she’s sorry. She doesn’t know what happened and she isn’t sure if anything did or not. How do you NOT KNOW something like that? I don’t know what zone she’s in , but I’m in the Twilight Zone. The therapist, who I’m beginning tot think is some kind of quack, thinks Bethany is having a nervous breakdown and is manic depressive. Whatever. I guess she hears voices and hallucinates. I never saw that. She acts normal, just very sad and she says she dreams about Sammy and her. She dreams that Sammy is older and they’re running in the park and other stuff like that. I think she’s losing it. Her mother will be here tomorrow and I’m glad. I don’t want a nut for a wife. And this all sounds nutty to me.
Wish me luck. I’ll let you know how things turn out. Glad you got your computer fixed.
Sorry for all the mistakes and accusations I’ve made. I didn’t know I was being led down a path.
September 21, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Tony:
Still having problems. I posted the rest of my comment completing my thoughts on #39 but it didn’t upload. Quay is aware of the problem and I think he will get it posted.
How did your hearing go?
September 21, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Jake-
The judge reprimaned me and ordered me to apologize and pay him $250. I also have to take anger control classes. Joe Stud could’ve filed assault charges but he didn’t. I wonder why. I’m nut sure about this whole thing. If I would’ve filed the comlaint back in Feb when she told me maybe things would be different. We waited to long and Bethany only incriminates herself. I’m not sure what I got here. She’s a good wife and mother, she’s just all messed up. We should’ve gotten counseling right after Sammy died. You post a lot of things about mothers and still born babies. Sammy was 4 months old. She wasn’t still born. She had a personality. She would smile. And she recognized us. She was just very sick all the time. She was in and out of the hospital constantly. It was a very hard time for us. Bethany was so stressed. I don’t know. I just handled everything wrong. Now I’m paying for it. She’s a good girl. Don’t get a bad impression of her. She’s very kind and never wants to hurt anyone. Very gentle. I want her back the way she was without all this sadness and crying and this clinging nature she has. She’s so protective over TJ. The therapist said that’s because she has fears of losing him, too. We just need a lot of help.
I’m not going drinking tonight, but I’d like to.
The romance thing you suggested. Bethany liked it. She likes slow dancing. She’s just real helpless right now. I have my work cut out for me.
September 21, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Tony,
I will try to complete what I was saying in #39
so read this in conjunction with that posting.
I previously said that Bethany ,in my opinion, didn’t cheat because she was depressed and not in controll of herself.
I now feel that based on all that has transpired, Bethany felt so much guilt just talking to Joe Stud and getting the attention from him that she felt she did something wrong.
In her mind ,the logical (for her in her state)conclusion was that if she shared a conversation with him ,and was comforted by him,and you weren’t present…it was WRONG.
In HER MIND SHE STEPPED OVER THE LINE. She may have had fantasies of being comforted and in her mind ,that comforting lead to other things(she told you it was like a dream like it happened to someone else).
That guilt increased her depression because she really loves only you. Her telling you about it was a cry for help,not against Joe Stud but to save your marriage by having you come to the rescue.
I don’t think he did anything at all to her in the final analysis. He probably got so scared when she told him to leave that he just left.
YOU HAVE TO STOP THE DRINKING! GO OUT WITH HER INSTEAD OF YOUR DRINKING BUDDIES!
I said it before. Now more than ever ,your wife needs you .And your rival is alot more formidable than Joe Stud. You lose your wife to mental illness you don’t get her back.
September 21, 2007 at 10:45 pm
Tony:
you wrote:
You post a lot of things about mothers and still born babies. Sammy was 4 months old. She wasn’t still born. She had a personality. She would smile. And she recognized us. She was just very sick all the time. She was in and out of the hospital constantly. It was a very hard time for us. Bethany was so stressed.
I posted about stillborn babies and SIDS -sudden infant death syndrome because the feeling of grief the mother has is the same
as Bethany is going through.
What you both need is Ritual Observance. Why don’t you go to church with Bethany on Sunday and after the service make a time each week to sit with her and pray for Sammy on a regular basis. Talk to the minister and to Linda about
this. Sammy can still be part of your lives even though she is gone. You both can pray for her.You can remember her in so many ways.
I think Bethany’s problem was aggrevated because she was unable to mourn the way she chose . That was partly your fault for not understanding and partly her fault for not having a grip on the reality of the situation.
IT TOOK ME ALMOST A YEAR TO COME TO GRIPS WITH MY FATHER’S DEATH.
I thought I was losing it and so did my family. I wanted to understand the reasons for death and in the end I found the reasons for life.
Help Bethany with that pilgrimage and you help yourself in the process because you are mourning along with her. How else do you really explain all your anger?
YES, YOU THOUGHT YOUR WIFE CHEATED. You beat up Joe Stud but you were really angry with life ,with death, with GOD.
Find the answers for both of you and you will feel a calmness down to your core,down to your soul.
Anger management classes- maybe you can have them with Linda. You should go to the JUDGE WITH HER AND SEE IF IT IS POSSIBLE. Especially now that she is so involved with Bethany’s situation.
I’m praying for you both.
Jake
September 22, 2007 at 12:51 am
I like the idea of goin to church. Before I ever got on here, I used to read some of the things you wrote and I knew you were a spiritual man. I want that in my life. A couple of the homes I lived in, the people went to church and I liked it. I know I need God. I know my family does. You’ve helped me a lot and I appreciate you always being here. It’s comforting to me because I have no mother or father, so to speak.
I told Bethany tonight that I didn’t care what happened anymore. That she was my whole life. She got big tears in her eyes and gave me the most beautiful smile. We hugged for a long time and TJ even got in on it. I picked him up and we both hugged him real tight. TJ said something to me that just hit home. He said, I like love, don’t you Daddy? I told him it was the most important thing ever and I told him I loved his Mom more than anything. He said, me too. I want to do things right. I want to be a good husband, a good Dad, and a good person. This has been tough. Losing Sammy was real hard. It was unexpected because Bethany had a healthy pregnancy. There were no signs anything would be wrong. She wanted a little girl and we were so happy when she was born. There’s a nice church down the street from us. It must be catholic because it says St. Joseph’s on it. I think we’ll go down there. Maybe things will be better once we start doing things right. I hope so. I love my wife and my son and I’d like to have more kids. I love kids.
I’ll talk to Linda about the anger thing. I know I need help with that. I’m not going to drink. I like to, but I’m not going to.
Thanks for everything. Do you remember that show, Touched by an Angel? I think that’s you. I don’t want to sound like a queer, but you do help people like some kind of angel.
Again, thanks. From all of us.
September 23, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Tony:
I looked back on the posts from when you started to now . You have made tremendous progress because you were able to sort out your jumbled feelings and realize just how much you love Bethany.
Did you go to church today as a family?
Going to church together will be your family’s anchor. It will give you another
time during the week to be together.
Family dinner is a regular bonding experience. You will find as your family grows and gets older ,”together time” becomes rare unless you make a point to have it.
Discussions around the dinner table bond your family together and give everyone the opportunity to share their day -what’s on their minds,discuss conflicts and daily problems and most importantly give the opportunity to share the love that must me expressed to keep your family strong.
Hope you all are having a nice weekend,
Jake
September 24, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Tony:
Still having some trouble posting.
I hope you had a nice weekend with Bethany.
Iam glad I was able to help.
Remember that I am stil here if you need me.
Jake
September 24, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Tony:
I’ve been trying to post but the difficulties continue.
How was your weekend?
September 25, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Cool water
Cool, clear water.
1.
All day I face the barren waste,
without the taste of water,
cool water
Old Dan and I with throats burned dry
and souls that cry for water,
cool, clear, water.
A
Keep a-movin’, Dan, don’t ya listen to him, Dan,
he’s a devil, not a man and he spreads the burning sand with water.
Dan, can you see that big green tree,
where the water’s running free,
and it’s waiting there for me and you.
2.
The nights are cool and I’m a fool,
each star’s a pool of water, cool water.
But with the dawn I’ll wake and yawn,
and carry on to water, water,
cool water, cool water.
+ CHORUS
+ Cool, clear water,
cool,… clear… water.
(capo 3rd)
(Frankie Laine)
September 25, 2007 at 5:49 pm
My Rifle Pony and Me
Duet w/ Dean Martin Previously Unreleased
Sun is sinking in the west
The cattle go down to the stream
The redwing settles in the nest
It’s time for a cowboy to dream
Purple light in the canyon
that is where I long to be
With my three good companions
just my rifle pony and me
Gonna hang my sombrero
on the limb of a tree
Coming home sweet my darling
just my rifle pony and me
Whippoorwill in the willow
sings a sweet melody
Riding to Amarillo
just my rifle pony and me
No more cows to be ropin’
No more strays will I see
’round the bend she’ll be waitin
For my rifle pony and me
For my rifle my pony and me
——————————————————————————–
September 25, 2007 at 6:00 pm
“Happy Trails” by Dale Evans Rogers
Happy trails to you,
until we meet again.
Happy trails to you,
keep smilin’ until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we’re together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you, ’till we meet again.
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It’s the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here’s a happy one for you.
Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin’ until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we’re together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you, ’till we meet again.
September 27, 2007 at 1:22 pm
lovesamerica,Shelby,Tony & Mrs DJ
If we don’t get the chance to chat again because we have gone our separate ways,
it’s been really nice this past year.
Take care ,
Jake
September 27, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Big Jake, remember me? I’ve been reading some of the posts. You had said in one that it took you over a year to come to terms with your Dad’s death. If you remember, my Mom died last October 24. It’s been hard this year and I find myself missing her terribly. It hurts.
I know she’s with the Lord. That’s comforting, but it’s still hard at times.
You’ve inspired me with some of things you post.
Thanks.
September 27, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Jake, just so you know, the company I work for came out with a new policy on using the internet and personal emails. Some of the people were abusing the priviledge so, as usual, it’s group punishment.
I have my computer hooked up at home but I’ve been very busy doing last minute things. I’m getting very nervous. Next Weekend!!!!
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get on much, but know I’m thinking of you..I always will.
You’re my sweety.
Hi Angel….I remember you!!
Love you all
September 28, 2007 at 4:07 am
Angel:
It’s so good to hear from you!
I know you ‘re having a hard time with the loss of your mom. I went through it when I lost my dad.
You and I talked about it last year.
These verses gave me great comfort then and I get choked up every time I read them.
John :25-27
25Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:
26And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?
27She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.
Angel, I believe my father lives. I believe your mother lives. They are still with us.
They encourage us when we need encouragement,they rejoice with us in good times,they comfort us in bad times.
They will never abandon us.
The following article expresses my feelings so much better than I can.
I hope it gives you comfort.
How to Turn Grief Into Joy
by RobinRenee Bridges
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. I drove him to the emergency room because he was having chest pains. He said that they weren’t too bad, and his color was good. He was still walking.
In fact, Daddy walked into the cubicle in the ER and hopped up on the gurney. Almost as quickly, he hopped off saying, “Whew, doggie! Feels like somebody’s got a knife in my back, right between my shoulder blades.” Daddy said it with a great big grin on his face. That’s just the way my Daddy was.
A few minutes later his aorta ruptured spilling his lifeblood into his chest cavity. His lips quivered briefly as he said, “I’ll see you in a little while.”
The moment his spirit was free from his body, an ethereal serenity bathed the room and flowed out into the bustling hallway. The emergency department took on a surreal silence, as all motion and sound seemed to slow…then to stop. I was embraced by a joyous warmth so real that it was overwhelmingly palpable. We were no longer separate. Daddy’s spirit enfolded and permeated my being.
Is there any way to retain your loved one’s presence while navigating the valley of grief? Yes, there are some things you can do right away.
First, suspend your doubting mind. Whether you look at life after death spiritually, or logically as the natural culmination of evolution, or through the evidence of quantum physics, you come up with the same answers. Probabilities indicate that life continues after the death of the physical body.
Second, understand that your loved one is still here with you. Don’t say, “Yeah, right!” Suspend your doubts. Go somewhere quiet; somewhere you can be alone, even if it’s a closet. Close your eyes. Get still inside, and just stand there, or sit there and breathe. Give yourself a few minutes to calm yourself. And then imagine how you would feel with your loved one standing right beside you—so close that you can hear him breathe and feel his body heat. Pretend, if you will.
Your loved one has not “passed away” anywhere. In reality he’s closer to you than your heartbeat. There’s a thin veil between heaven and earth. Your loved one has simply passed through that veil. S/he can still hear you, see you, and touch you, but your physical body is a barrier to your being able to perceive your loved one.
Third, when you’re quiet inside, ask him something simple like “Are you here with me?”
Ahh HAH! Where did that “Yes” come from? Inside your head? Well sort of, but there’s more to it than that. Psychologists say that we all have an inner child and an internalized parent within us. In a similar way you have internalized your loved one. So what you hear are partly the characteristics of your loved one that you have internalized and partly the still living, growing, eternal character of your loved one surrounding you in the spirit world.
The body is a mechanical device powered by chemistry. The living, thinking, loving, remembering, planning, and dreaming part of you is LIFE, and it is eternal. Life cannot be destroyed. At the death of the mechanical, chemical body the eternal living consciousness of you is immediately aware of a sublime freedom. You are capable of seeing your spirit body for the first time. And it is exquisite.
Jesus called the afterlife “heaven.” He said that it’s “at hand” (Matthew 4:17). He also said that it’s “within” (Luke 17:21). He called it “paradise.” Jesus told the dying thief on the cross that he would be with Him in paradise today (Luke 23:43). That clearly indicates that there is no waiting period between life and the afterlife. Your loved one is in heaven, or paradise, right now. And that paradise is “at hand” and “within you.”
The New Testament says that we have a natural body and a spiritual body (1 Corinthians 15:44). It says that the things we can see are temporary, but the things we cannot see are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18). Jesus referred to the spiritual body when He said that people who live in Him and believe in Him would never die but have everlasting life.
As for the logical culmination of evolution, logic requires that there be an afterlife. Nature naturally selects the characteristics of living creatures. Qualities that insure survival are chosen over other qualities. If life ends at the grave, why have humans evolved so many qualities that they have little or no use for on earth? Altruism, charity, honor, patience, fidelity, etc. have little value in a society where materialism, war, and self-interest prevail.
Humility and service do not generate financial gain or the acquisition of power. They are a handicap, if anything. Yet, they persist as character traits in the majority of people. Man is driven more by abstractions like love, loyalty, accomplishment, curiosity and discovery than by simple biological directives. Why?
An unborn child develops arms, legs, eyes, and lungs because it will need them to function in the world into which it will be born. Man develops compassion, devotion, generosity, hope, understanding, and trustworthiness (to name but a few) because he will need them to function in the world into which he will be born when he leaves the physical body.
And in the same way that an unborn child is not separate from the world of his family, we are not separate from the loved ones that have passed through the veil.
And what if the quantum physicists are right? What if we really do live in a world with multiple dimensions…a holographic world? The mystics and the prophets have insisted that this world is an illusion for millennia. A holographic universe would mean that our bodies, our houses, our cities, and even the stars above us are a mirage. Those dimensions are all around us as the physicists are discovering, and those dimensions really do influence our world. What if other dimensions are the “mansions” that Jesus referred to?
Your loved one is still here with you. He’s part of a dimension that you cannot perceive—yet. You are a spiritual creature having a human experience. You have spiritual senses that you can use to communicate with and become aware of your loved ones in heaven. It’s done through focused prayer and meditation. In Matthew 5:4 Jesus said, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” That’s His promise. Believe it. Experience it.
© Copyright 2005 Robbin Renee Bridges
About The Author
RobinRenee Bridges has been a chaplain and officer in The Sanctuary for more than thirty years. She is the author of “A Bridge of Love between Heaven and Earth: Self-Induced Contact in the Afterlife.” For more articles about death, dying, and the afterlife visit her web site at: http://www.spirit-sanctuary
It’s so good to have you back!
Jake
September 28, 2007 at 4:35 am
lovesamerica:
Amy!
you wrote;
I’m getting very nervous. Next Weekend!!!!
For you and Nick- one of my favorites.
group-
THE FIVE SATINS
– To The Aisle
First a boy and a girl meet each other
Then they sit down to talk for a while
In your heart you’ll want her for a lover
while each step draws you closer to the aisle
You may start with a simple conversation
My darling please put me on trial
She says yes and your heart starts beating
While each step draws you closer to the aisle
You ask her if she loves you
She answers “I do”
Your heart starts glowing inside
And then you will know
she is just for you
While each step draws you closer to the aisle
Then you put a ring on her finger
And the tears start flowing awhile
Then you’ll know she’s yours forever
While each step draws you closer to the aisle
Love
Jake
September 28, 2007 at 4:59 am
lovesamerica:
Amy- Next Weekend!!!!
I’ll be thinking about you and I will be there in spirit!!
Best wishes to you and Nick!
Love
Jake
September 28, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Jake,
I was very comforted by your post. I’m going to print it off and re-read it.
Somehow I knew you would give me something to help ease these feelings. I know my Mom was a christian, and she’s in Heaven, but it’s hard for us left behind to deal with the lonliness. I was her only daughter and we were very close. It’s just been hard for me.
Thank you so much.
Angel
September 30, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Angel:
How are you doing today?
I have to tell you,the article I posted in #56 How to Turn Grief Into Joy by RobinRenee Bridges, I found it as I was responding to your post.
I felt the urgency and pain in your words and it was as if I was guided right to tha article. I was amazed at how it put into words all the things I had experienced ,all my feelings.
If you remember our previous discussions about life after death,Purgatory, whether or not our beloved dead can interact with us,then you can imagine how I felt when I came across the article.
I am glad it gave you comfort.
If you want to discuss it ,I am right here.
Jake
September 30, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Shelby:
If you are still with us,I really miss you.
How have you been?
Jake
October 1, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Jake,
Yes, I would like to discuss things further. I’d also like to share some other things. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post later this evening.
I really appreciate you reaching out.
Thanks,
Angel
October 4, 2007 at 11:56 am
Angel:
I guess you had second thoughts about posting. I know that you are going through a tough time. Just keep praying and it will get better. In the end ,only the love you shared and nurtured together with the memmories of the good times you and your mom had remain. Her spirit is always with you . Let her love enfold you when you are feeling down. Believe that she is there. She still is.
Jake
Vaya Con Dios
artist:Gene Autry
——————————————————————————–
Now the hacienda’s dark, the town is sleeping;
Now the time has come to part, the time for weeping.
Vaya con Dios my darling,
May God be with you my love.
Wherever you may be, I’ll be beside you,
Although you’re many million dreams away.
Each night I’ll say a pray’r, a pray’r to guide you
To hasten ev’ry lonely hour of ev’ry lonely day.
Now the dawn is breaking through a gray tomorrow,
But the memories we share are there to borrow.
Vaya con Dios, my darling:
May God be with you, my love, my love,
May God be with you my love.
Now the village mission bells are softly ringing,
If you listen with your heart you’ll hear them singing,
Vaya con Dios my darling,
May God be with you my love.
Wherever you may be I’ll be beside you,
Although you’re many million dreams away,
Each night I’ll say a pray’r, a pray’r to guide you
To hasten ev’ry lonely hour of ev’ry lonely day.
Now the dawn is breaking through a gray tomorrow,
But the memories we share are there to borrow,
Vaya con Dios, my darling!
May God be with you, my love, my love,
May God be with you my love.
October 4, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Thank you, Jake. I haven’t forgotten about posting. I have a big weekend coming up and have to prepare for it. I haven’t found time and I’m limited here at work.
I’m glad you keep checking in. I will post again after the weekend. I enjoy the exchange with you as you have a wonderful way of putting things.
I appreciate you.
October 9, 2007 at 12:16 am
Hello Jake.
I apologize that I waited so long to get back. I hope you still check in.
As you know, I miss my Mom terribly and the anniversary of her passing is coming up so I’m thinking about her more and more. I miss her so much. I would love to hold her hand just one more time.
My father died when I was 14. When I was 19 my Mom remarried. My stepdad was always good to my mother and he treated all of us kids well. Especially me because I was there most of the time. I was the youngest of 4 kids and I was 19 when he married her. I was married 6 months later to my first husband. My lst husband and I divorced 12 years later, no children, thank God. I remarried a wonderful man, and have been happily married 21 years. I have a 20 year old son.
My step dad had been involved in my life all these years. He walked me down the isle on my first marriage. He loved my son and always introduced him as his grandson. He took him places all the time while he was growing up. Since I visited my Mom no less than 3 times a week the majority of my life, he was almost always there and we all would have great converstaions. Shared all the holidays, etc.
About 20 years ago my Mom’s health started to fail. She rarely left the house for fear of having “accidents”. In the last 10 years, her health was even worse. She was a lot of work but he never complained and did everything for her. I would help when I could. Two of my brothers lived out of town.
I have another brother in the area, but he is very slow. Not retarded, but just very slow. He was in the Army and served in Viet Nam. On his return he got married, the marriage failed, he had a very low paying job that he kept up until they layed him off about 6 years ago. He lost everything. His health also failed. He has emphyasema and ocassionally has severe panic attacks.
Six years ago after losing his job and his home he moved in with my Mom and stepdad. He was a lot of work, too, because he gets winded so easily he wasn’t much help to my stepdad. He would sleep hours on end and ate very little. Right now he’s 5′8″ and weighs 110 pounds.
I just wanted to give you some background before I tell you what’s bothering me.
My Mom died last October. Within 4 months of her death my stepdad had met another woman. (He’s 80!) I understand that at that age you have to move quick, but, that was too quick for me.
About two months ago he packed my brother up, and was going to drop him off at some dingy hotel that is known for drugs and people are beaten up there regularly. My brother couldn’t protect himself from an angry 3 year old, let alone some druggy or angry drunk. Luckily, my other brothers and myself found out his intentions the day before he was about to do that because my sick brother had talked to my other brother and told him our stepdad gave him 24 hrs to get ready to go because he was all done with him! We intervened and took him in for two weeks and finally, by the grace of God got him into an assisted care facility that is just beautiful.
My brother told me when my stepdad dropped him off at our house that he thanked him for all he had done for him over the years. My stepdad told him he didn’t do it for him, he did it for my mother. How cruel is that? Why would you say something so mean to someone?
I am very hurt by all of this. I’m hurt that he seems to have forgotten my Mom so quickly and just wants to wash his hands of all of us. None of us know why. I thought we were family. He does call my son on his cell phone from time to time, but he never calls us. And we don’t call him because when we have he’s never there.
My stepdad’s brother died July. We all went to the funeral. He was with “her”. Had his arms around her acting all lovey dovey. That’s nice. I don’t begrudge him, but I thought it was extrememly insensitive to behave like that in front of all us kids. In his brothers obituary they listed my stepdad’s name along with his new girlfriend his new girlfriends name after it. I was appalled. It should’ve been his name, and then the late…my Mom’s name. My Mom was in that family for 35 years, and they just forgot all about her.
I stopped at his home right after he did that to my brother. Mind you, my brother was paying him $600 a month to live there. I asked him why he did that and he got real defensive. I told him if he wanted one of us to take him in we would have. He didn’t have to make arrangements to drop him off at some sleezy hotel. He got mean and said none of us stepped up to the plate when my Mom died and my brother wasn’t his responsibility. He said some terrible things about my brother. Called him lazy. Accused him of stealing from him which I KNOW is a lie because he had absolutely nothing in his belongings that belonged to my stepdad and he has nothing to his name.
I don’t know what to make of this. My stepdad always claimed to be this great christian, goes to church all the time, quotes the Bible, does outings with the Pastor, but he has got to be the most angry bitter man I’ve ever known. He praises God in one breath and curses in the next.
I’m just having a hard time dealing with this. We always had him over for the holidays. I always remembered Father’s day and his birthday. This year, he never remembered any of our birthdays. It’s pathetic.
He’s quite active. He’s not your typical 80 year old. He even works as a cook at a nearby casino. He goes. He’s more like 60 than 80.
I just wanted to get this all off my chest. My one brother never did like him. My husband tolerated him for me. My stepdad is very outspooken and negative. My brothers would never take anything from him and since they lived out of town their dealings with him were slim. I used to butt heads once in awhile because he IS a pushy guy, but out of respect for my mother, and because he was good to her, I never laid in to him like I always wanted to.
I just can’t believe my Mom would be married to him for 35 years and he’s forgotten her and this whole family. He must’ve really not liked any of us. I think he was glad when she died. I think he wanted to be free of the burden of taking care of her. And that hurts. It hurts me badly because I thought he did it out of love, not duty.
I have expressed my feelings to my husband My husband tries to comfort me, but he thinks my stepdad is just a jerk and I should forget about it. You, you’re impartial. That’s why I wanted to ask what your thoughts are.
After reading some of the other postings my problme is nothing compared to the others. I’m just hurt and would like some peace.
Thanks.
October 9, 2007 at 3:19 am
Angel:
You wrote:
“My father died when I was 14. When I was 19 my Mom remarried. My stepdad was always good to my mother and he treated all of us kids well….My step dad had been involved in my life all these years. He walked me down the isle on my first marriage. He loved my son and always introduced him as his grandson. He took him places all the time while he was growing up. Since I visited my Mom no less than 3 times a week the majority of my life, he was almost always there and we all would have great converstaions. Shared all the holidays, etc.
Sounds like your stepdad was a nice guy, a family man. He loved your mom and was there for all of you.
If he is 80 now ,and your brother moved in with your mom and stepdad 6 years ago, your stepdad was 74 at the time and a full time care giver to your mom.
If your brother needed care ,which he did, I can see rationally how resentment could have built up over the ensuing 6 years as your mom was declining.
You did all you could ,but your brothers were out of town and that could be the seeds of your stepdad’s resentment toward the family.
You are hurting because your mom dide. Your stepdad after 35 years of marriage is hurting too. I would assume that he knew his current girlfriend while your mom was still alive.
I am not saying that he was cheating on your mom. I am saying thet she probably gave him emotional support while he was your mom’s caregiver.
I detect resentment on your part as you probably feel that your stepdad is being disloyal to your mom,her memory , and your family .
This reaction,even though not openly expressed, is apparent to your stepdad and causes a guilt reaction on his part. The guilt reaction causes resentment toward the family which he cared for as a father for 35 years. And it seems to be the source of your stepdad’s hostility.
I think that it’s time to clear the air here. You have to express your love and gratitude to him and thank him for being a good husband to your mom,a good father to her kids and a steady ,solid influence in your life.
Once that is expressed by you,you can then try to find out what is troubling him.
A personality change late in life can be caused by alot of things. Some are benign and simple clearing of the air and showing of affection solve the problem.
Adverse reaction to medication,medical problems like a brain tumor,altzeimer’s disease,and dementia can also be the cause.
Only true abiding care and concern on your part will get you the answers you need.
There definitely has been a personality shift from what you are telling me. You have to go in and find the answers.
I’m praying for you .
October 9, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Jake,
Thank you for your response.
I need to tell you that when my brother moved in it was quite a relief for my stepdad. Although he didn’t like him being there, it freed him. He basically used my brother for a babysitter. My stepdad had a small business of selling cups to local businesses or organizations. He would take off early in the morning and not return until late afternoons nearly everyday. My brother provided him the means to do that. Six years ago my Mom had poor health but wasn’t an invalid. She was functioning but rarely left the home. She had a skin condition call granuloma anulare and it was painful at times. But my stepdad didn’t need to be there all the time.
Last year, when my Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer is when 24 hr. care was needed. We had a nurse come in everyday. In addition I took a family leave from work and took care of my Mom myself for 3 months so my stepdad wasn’t strapped at the house. Between my brother, myself, and the visiting nurses we did the majority of her care.
For years my brothers and I thanked him for being so good to my Mom. We were always appreciative. He’s a “hard” man. By that I mean he is very critical of other people and almost always finds the negative about any situation. To put it bluntly, he can be a pain in the ass.
He did not know the woman before May of this year. He met her because he needed a new car and she had an ad in the paper. She seems very nice. I’m happy he’s not alone, but the way he went about it is insensitive and hurtful.
I don’t believe he’s hurting over my Mom. I think he’s relieved he’s out from under the responsibility.
He SHOULD feel guilty for what he did to my brother. That was cruel and it could’ve been handled in a kindly fashion without causing so many hurt feelings.
You suggested I clear the air. If the opportunity arose I would. Right now I think he’s so into himself and what he wants to do he doesn’t care how we feel. I’m angry at myself because I always kept my mouth shut when my Mom was living when several times I wanted to tell him to cram his B.S.
He told me my brother stole coins and a pistol from him. I asked where would they be? My brother doesnt’ have them, he doesn’t drive and he was home with my Mom all the time. What did he do? Bury them somewhere?? My steddad’s reply was very defensive and he said he didn’t know what he did with them but they were missing. So, when I saw my brother I told him what Jim said. He had the most dumbfounded look on his face. he said he never took a thing from him and that he remembers Jim giving things to his own son! He either forgot about it or his son took them. I don’t know but I know it ticks me off that he claims my brother is some kind of theif. It’s ridiculous. I also told my stepdad at our last confrontation that he should be ashamed for doing that to my brother. That he would treat a stranger better than he treated him and that my Mom would be crushed to know he treated her son like that. He just got angrier so I left. I haven’t spoken to him since.
My stepdad is not hurting. He certainly doesn’t appear to be. As I said, I believe he’s glad and relieved my Mom passed. I think he’s happy now and is quite content to have nothing to do with us.
Thanks for praying for me. I need it.
October 10, 2007 at 12:31 pm
aNGEL:
The feelings you are expressing are pent up feelings accumulated over 35 years. You held them in for your mother’s sake.
For her sake, I’m glad you did. The bottom line is that she was happy with her life and family. She was well cared for and loved.
To play devil’s advocate regarding the pistol and coins, is it possible that the visiting nurse had access to them?
I say this because we have had a similar situation regarding some jewelry and unless you can prove it, it’s best to just write it off .
Your stepdad sounds like a work project. How long do you think it will be before his lady friend gets tired of his demeanor?
I would calmly have a discussion with him regarding the state of your family and his intentions now that your mom is no longer with us. Does he want to remain close? Thanksgiving,Christmas and Easter dinners?
Where do we go from here?
See how he feels . Clear the air. If you all want to fix what’s broken ,then try to fix it . On the other hand, if it’s over,it’s over and no regrets.
Hope this helps,
Jake
October 10, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Jake,
Just having you talk to me about it helps.
The visiting nurses wouldn’t have taken those things. My brother was always there and would’ve seen anyone rumaging through things.
I believe he either misplaced them and they will come up sooner or later, or he gave them away and forgot about it. He always forgets where he puts things. Keys, gloves, books, papers, etc.
Yes, he’s a work project. Only because his idea of winning a disagreement is who shouts the loudest. I don’t shout. I’m firm and state the facts and I think that always irritated him. He never yelled at my Mom. She never would’ve taken it. He used to pick at me, especially when I was visiting other churches. I’m not a racist and I’ve never had a problem with catholics. He’s extrememly bigoted in those areas and we would butt heads when those topics came up. You could bring up anyone’s name and he always had something negative to say. I used to wonder how my Mom could deal with it.
This woman is probably 80 or better. She is very active, like he is. I think they’re probably very happy. They’re both old and probably enjoy the companionship. I’m sure he was sick of my Monm not being able to do anything.
I just feel bad because I thought we were family. I thought he really cared for all of us. I thought he really loved my Mother. I don’t think so, now. If he did in the beginning, I think over time and the stress of her failing health and the fact she wasn’t fun anymore, I think he lost that kind of love. I think what he did for her he did out of duty. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I think he’s glad she died. It makes me sad. Very sad. My Mom was a beautiful person. She was smart, and funny and loved people. It makes me feel terrible that because her quality of life diminished over time, so did her value to him.
I love her dearly and miss her so much.
Thanks for being a nice friend.
October 10, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Angel:
For you.
Desiderata
– written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s –
Not “Found in Old St. Paul’s Church”! — see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
October 13, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Hello Jake!!!!!! Well, I am now a MRS.!!!
Got back Friday from our wonderful Honeymoon in Nassau. We had so much fun. We left last Sunday morning and drove to Florida. Spent the night in St. Augustine and then flew to Nassau.
The wedding was beautiful. Nick looked so handsome in his tux. Everyone looked beautiful. When I saw him as I walked down the aisle I got big tears in my eyes and when I got there, he had them, too!! I was wimpering threw the whole ceremony. The chapel was gorgeous. I had gone out right after the rehearsal dinner Friday and decorated with my bridesmaids. I had white candles and silk red roses everywhere. I had vases of real roses all over the alter and I had lace and seed pearl strands draping on everything. I wish you could’ve seen it. It was a beautiful evening. We had a basket of candles outside the chapel and had all the people outside looking in holding lit candles. It was something else.
The reception was fantastic. The restaurant staff helped decorate. All the tables had lace tablecloths and s single rose for a centerpiece. I had made a display to honor Nick’s Mom, (he got teary when he saw it and gave me a kiss) and I even had a single rose to honor you!! I didn’t forget you, Jake. The food was wonderful. It was a fairytale wedding.
I’m so happy. I love being Nick’s wife. I know it’s only been a week, but I know I’ll be happy. I just know. He’s everything I ever wanted and more. I love him so very, very, much.
My sister is head over heels in love with Nate. They are a beautiful couple and he’s crazy over her, too. Anita plans on moving down here after she graduates in June. She told my Mom she was in love with Nate and they will probably get married. I don’t know what Nate thinks about that because Nick told me he asked him about it and Nate just smiled and said “we’ll see”. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Anyway, I know she’s all flippy over it.
My Mom was also a big hit. Everyone I talked to would say, Gee…I see where you get your looks…you’re Mom is gorgeous. I’d just say I know. Vicki and Dad…well..Dad had a good time, but Vicki must’ve gained 100 lbs since I last saw her and I think my Mom’s presence made her feel funny. My Mom dances with Nick’s Dad and Dad and Vicki danced for the parent thing…I was going to suggest my Mom and Dad dance, but I didn’t want to be insulting to Vicki and Dad said it would probably hurt her. It worked out. My Mom and Dad were very cordial to each other and I even saw them laughing together a few times. My grandma came over and told me my Mom must be drunk to be nice to my Dad….it sort of made me feel good to see them like that. My Dad told me later that my Mom was still “stunning”. What do you think of that?????????
Anyway, I have to go shopping and stock up on groceries. My husband (I love to say that) is working today.
Talk to you soon….
Love ya!!!
October 13, 2007 at 9:24 pm
All the best, and much happiness to you!
QF
October 14, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Dear Quay…Thank you for your well wishes.
You are a dear to let us all communicate on any topic we like, whether it’s sharing our lives or our problems or just saying hello to those we call friends ……..you’re like a phantom, always here but we’re rarely aware of it until you show us you care about us, too.
You’re on my list of special sweeties
October 15, 2007 at 5:05 pm
lovesamerica:
“MRS.”GREENEYES!!!
Congratulations again and best wishes!!!
A faireytale evening to say the least. It sounds like it was really beautiful. AND with your parents being nice to each other and enjoying it. That was a special memory just for you.
All the best.
Jake
ps ya got me all misty with the single red rose!
October 15, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Jake, I’m so glad you answered. I was getting scared thinking you were gone for good.
I thought about you a lot during the rehearsal dinner. I wore a pretty black chiffon dress. Nick’s Dad had reserved a room at a nice dinner club. Lindsey and Kelley, (my new sisters-in-law) and Nick’s nieces decorated the buffet tables. They were so pretty. They had clear glass candle holders with white candles in them and they tied white lace around each and put some baby’s breath and a small red rose in the center of the race. It looked so pretty. Everyone looked so nice. I’m so blessed. I really am. While I was sitting there looking at everything and holding back tears I thought about you and how you made it all happe…and you weren’t even there to join in. That seems so wrong to me.
Nick is working. He stopped in for a little while tonight. I fixed him swiss steak and potatoes. I found out he loves soft peanut butter cookies so I’m making him some..I’m hoping he’ll come in while they’re still warm and fresh out of the oven. I love this…I love doing little things for him. Everyone at work tells me it’s always like this in the beginning and then it fades away. They keep saying “you’ll see.” Or, “some day you’ll walk in here and say you hate that SOB.” I’ll never say that because I don’t think I’ll ever feel like that. It makes me sad. I don’t want it to fade away. Why does it have to? What happens that it does?
I almost fell over in shock yesterday. My Mom called me and told me I really looked beautiful on my wedding day! I thanked her for being nice to Dad, and she told me she enjoyed talking to him!! She said he looked handsome in his tux and that she wished they were still married when she watched him walk me down the aisle!! I told her Dad said she still looked stunning. She said, Really?? Then she said anyone would look stunning next to his wife. She said she checked out Dad’s truck to see if “wide load” was on the front of it. (blasting Vicki) I agreed that Vicki gained a lot of weight but I didn’t let Mom trash her too much. This is terrible to admit, but deep down, I would love to see my Mom and Dad back together again. He’s so cute and my Mom is so pretty…they just look right together. I know, I know…sorry.
Well, I need to get those cookies going so my husband will have a nice treat when he comes home…something besides me
!!
I love you.
October 16, 2007 at 6:57 pm
lovesamerica:
Amy,you wrote-
“Everyone at work tells me it’s always like this in the beginning and then it fades away. They keep saying “you’ll see.” Or, “some day you’ll walk in here and say you hate that SOB.” I’ll never say that because I don’t think I’ll ever feel like that. It makes me sad. I don’t want it to fade away. Why does it have to? What happens that it does?”
It really doesn’t have to fade away,not if you both put each other first in the relationship,be considerate of each other’s feelings and never go to bed angry with each other.
That’s not to say you won’t have your little squabbles. Everybody does. Just hold no grudges and keep no hard feelings.
Seems like your mom is still hot for your dad.
you wrote:
“She said he looked handsome in his tux and that she wished they were still married when she watched him walk me down the aisle!!”
If they were a little more considerate of each other ,a little more mature, they would have weathered the storms and still been together.
They still care for each other,but they let foolish pride get in the way.You and Anita are the anchors that still keep them in each other’s lives and I would venture to say ,they both are thankful for it.
Got to go now.
Love
Jake
October 19, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Jake, I don’t think my Mom is hot for my Dad. I think she’s lonely and I think she remembered her wedding day and wished things would’ve gone differently. My Mom is demanding and selfish and only thinks about her own needs, wants, and desires. I don’t like talking about her like that but it’s the truth. My sister will push Nate away if she doesn’t lose some of her demands, too. Nate’s a nice looking guy and available. She better be careful. She got all snippy with me because I told her she was rushing him. Nate hasn’t mentioned marriage to anyone and that’s all Anita talks about. I don’t want Nate using her, either, because she’s pretty. Guys go after pretty girls and if they’re dumb it’s just a score for them. She didn’t like hearing that, either, but that’s how I think. She’s dumb and an airhead and flippy over men like Nate.
I’m bummed because Nick is working a lot of double shifts and he’s really tired. I don’t like it but it’s not his fault. The city is big and there’s not enough cops. I miss him when he’s not home. I like him in bed with me…and I don’t mean that in a sexual way..I just like to go to bed at night and have him there. The last couple of nights he’s been in at 2:00am or later. I’m going to be a good wife and not hassle him about his job but I miss him so much when he’s not at home at night.
He’s working this weekend, too, because they’re short. A couple of guys are on vacation and some off on comp. I don’t know….I want him home.
I’ll quit whining. Maybe some century you’ll come back here again.
October 21, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Jake, I guess it’a all over.
I’ve enjoyed knowing you. You’ve blessed my life in many ways and I’ll never forget you.
Quay, thank you for letting us use your site. I’ve enjoyed the relationships i’ve made here. I miss Zach and DJ, too. Everyone’s gone and now…Famous Dave, Shelby, Angel, and Tony…good luck in all you do…
It was fun…Love you all..God Bless America.
October 21, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Hey, Checkin’ in. Congrats on the wedding, loves. Y’all won’t believe what happened. DJ came home from the UAE a month ago. While there, he met a private contractor for a firm out of San Antonio. Since DJ was fed up with his state job and the B.S. that goes with it, he sent them a resume. He had a hint of a job offer when the H.R. lady sent his resume upstairs and CCed to him, ” This may be the guy we need for the job in Belgium”. Long story short, he is gone to work on Chievre Air Base as an environmental guru. The guy who had the job bailed on them the week before he was to report on Oct. 1 and they needed to fill the job to keep up their contract. DJ is in place and starts tomorrow. He took, 3 monster suitcases, 2 carry ons and his bicycle which he had crated at the bike store. He rode it today. The pay isn’t all that, but again, it is tax free. I managed to save a nice chunk of change from his escapade this summer, so it will help him get an apt. and maybe a beater of a car. The dollar is taking a beating right now, and he gets paid in dollars, so we will see how it goes.
Do I quit my job, sell our house and move over there? Maybe..too soon to tell. I am going for Christmas.
Why did I let him go? I’ve been to Europe and loved it. I only came home for the children and the ice cubes. I would so not rob him of such a great opportunity. Besides, it will open a lot of doors for him.
And it looks like he can stay in the reserves. He just won’t be volunteering for any deployments, which is fine with me. This last one left a bad taste in my mouth because of the way his paper work was handled. I wasn’t even enrolled in Tri-Care for chrissakes.
The homecoming was awful. I got food poisoning off a salad the second night he was in country. That’s how we found out I wasn’t in Tri-Care. I flew up there and we drove home with pulling over to barf a few times. UGH.
Then came the big push for him to leave again. At the last minute he started digging up the back yard to put in dead men for one the top retaining wall, the small one, that he felt was slipping, so I have to tighten some turnbuckles over the next few weeks and back-fill the dirt. Also, he took out a tree. He was trying to fix things in case I sell the place and he never comes back here.
So that’s our news.
October 22, 2007 at 1:44 am
lovesamerica:
Hi Greeneyes!
Its been hectic with the wedding preparation and traveling to Philly so I haven’t been on here .
I told you I would never abandon you didn’t I? Is everything ok?
I know it seems that everyone left ,but the funny thing is as soon as you think it’s all over ,someone shows up. Right, Mrs DJ?
By the way ,Congrats to DJ on the new job in Europe.
Amy ,as a newlywed,I’m sure you are hopping around getting used to married life.
I said I would check in from time to time,so here I am.
If you are leaving, it has been really nice and I will never forget you.
Love
Jake
October 22, 2007 at 6:51 pm
Jake, I know how hectic wedding plans can get..especially when the day gets closer. What are you doing in Philly? Where do you stay?
I don’t like it when you’re gone. I get nervous that I’ll lose you. I’m so glad you checked in.
I love married life. Everyone says I’m spoiling Nick……but he’s mine to spoil. He’s a wonderful husband and my best friend. I don’t know what I’d ever do without him. I cook all his favorite meals and try to keep the house all perfect and cozy so he’ll be stress free. I don’t ever want him to not want to come home.
Mrs. DJ. Please give my best to DJ. I miss his humor. You’re something to let him go like that. So far away. It’s good you don’t block his opportunities. Not many women would be so supportive. I hope I can always do what’s best for Nick. You inspire me.
Talk to you all soon.
Big Hug Jake….don’t stay away so long. It scares me. I Love ya.
October 23, 2007 at 10:28 am
lovesamerica:
Amy
You wrote:
I don’t like it when you’re gone. I get nervous that I’ll lose you. I’m so glad you checked in.
When I sign off as Uncle Jake,I really mean it. So you will never lose me,ok? We’ve been through alot together,haven’t we?
Regarding Philly- We don’t stay over. We visit my daughter at college and drive back.
It’s very nice ,very artsy. The Kimmel Center is beautiful .Then there’s Independence Hall,Penns Landing, South Street etc. Nice restaurants,lots of cultural activities.
Now as for you…
You’re just too marvelous, too marvelous for words
Like “glorious”, “glamorous” and that old standby “amorous”.
It’s all too wonderful, I’ll never find the words
That say enough, tell enough, I mean they just aren’t swell enough.
You’re much too much, and just too “very, very”
To ever be in Webster’s Dictionary.
And so I’m borrowing a love song from the birds
To tell you that you’re marvelous – too marvelous for words.
(Musical interlude)
You’re much – you’re too much – and just too “very, very”
To ever be, to ever be in Webster’s Dictionary.
And so I’m borrowing a love song from the birds
To tell you that you’re marvelous;
Tell you that you’re marvelous;
Tell you that you’re marvelous – too marvelous for words
With lots of Love
Uncle Jake
October 24, 2007 at 9:24 am
Jake, thanks for the song. Tell me, do you still romance your wife with songs after all these years? I think you probably do but I just wanted to ask because it’s nice to hear someone talk so positively about marriage and love. I always want Nick to romance me. I want our marriage to be like one long date. I know we’ll probably get cross with each other from time to time, but like you said, forgiving each other right away and controlling what we say when we’re angry is important. Nick and I have really never even had a fight. Only when I got jealous over his ex girlfriend. I’m better at that now. I’m still jealous. I don’t want women chasing him or hitting on him. And he’s hitable. I just have to trust he’ll always be faithful. I know he loves the Lord and he doesn’t like it that some of his married co-workers cheat. He always comments how wrong that is so I think he’s got high values and he’s decent.
I was very moved by Michael Murphy and Pres. Bush giving him the congressional medal of honor. Whenever I hear that we have lost soldiers it pains me inside. I feel so badly for the families. It would be terrible to lose someone in war. I believe this is a noble country and our cause is noble, but it’s so sad that the world is in such chaos that we have to kill each other. Someday God will end this madness and restore our world again.
Have a good day. You’re such a sweet man.
October 26, 2007 at 12:40 pm
lovesamerica:
Amy ,you wrote:
Jake, thanks for the song. Tell me, do you still romance your wife with songs after all these years? I think you probably do but I just wanted to ask because it’s nice to hear someone talk so positively about marriage and love.
I buy CD’s and play them in the car to her. She thinks I ‘m a cornball when I do it ,but she still loves it even if she won’t admit it to me!
When I bring home flowers ,she gives me a hard time about spending too much money on them,but then I catch her staring at them when I’m not there with her in the room and she is smiling.
Amy -make time for your husband and make those times together special. Understand when he is tired or distracted..do something special to get his attention (if you know what I mean!) Keep him interested and off balance,never knowing what to expect,then pleasantly surprise him . Do this consistently ,time after time and I will guarantee you that he will never stray ,always look forward to coming home to you and pull some surprises of his own out of his hat!
On Michael Murphy,the CMH is a great honor.
It’s a tragedy that it was awarded posthumously.
Got to get ready for some tests my cardiologist set up for me. It’s an all day affair,ugh!
Love
Jake
October 27, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Hi Jake. I hope and pray all of your tests came out perfectly. Let us know, okay?
I’m a little disappointed that our first Thanksgiving Nick will be working. He will have Christmas Eve and Christmas off so I’m grateful for that. Anita is flying down here over Thankgsiving break. I’m getting concerned about her because she wants to stay down here. She graduates in June and she’s so goo goo over Nate she’s not thinking straight. I talked with him the other day and asked him what his intentions were. He said he’s crazy about my sister but he’s not just going to jump into marriage. He said if they continue to get along that may happen, but right now he’s just getting to know her. He said he doesn’t want to get married until he buys a house and he’s one of these guys that doesn’t want his wife to work. Which is fine because I think Anita would be fine with that. Nate is working Christmas and Anita told Dad all she wanted for Christmas was a two way ticket down here so she can be with him during college break. She’s in love. She was crying the other night on the phone because she’s up there and he’s down here. She said he’s all she thinks about and if he met someone else “she’d just die”. Probably sounds like me, huh? I can’t be too critical because I was and still am all flippy over Nick. I just don’e think Nate is the same as Nick. He’s nice, but he’s pretty cool. He doesn send her flowers and he calls her quite a bit. I don’t know what to think, but I’m nervous for Anita. Nick tells me to stay out of it, but when it’s your sister, you can’t. Nick said Nate was a nice guy, but he’s a flirt and he likes the ladies. He said he’s calmed down since he met Anita, but he had never said he was in love with her……I don’t know. What do you think? I’m glad she’s coming down. I’m going to cook a small turkey on Thanksgiving so Nick can stop in an have a nice meal. Nate will be with his family and Anita will be with him and us both…crazy. All this love stuff is just crazy isn’t it????
Nick is sleeping. He didn’t get home until after 11:00 last night and he worked a double. We’re going to take a long ride today and go someplace nice for dinner….I told him I wanted to go someplace cozy afterward and maybe have a drink and a slowdance or two..he smiled and said “whatever you want.” I love him.
Love ya
October 27, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Yep, well I did show up again. DJ is doing fine. He has moved to a semi-permanent hotel in Brugelette where he has an efficiency for 500 Eu a month. Its about 3 miles from his job. He is buying a car this week, too. Their time change is tonight where they “fall back”. I do not have his new phone number and I need to talk to him about something of moderate importance. The Army didn’t get his computer in this week, either, so we’ve been relaying important stuff thru a co-workers account. He says he has moved from “manana time” to “normalee time” as in “normally, this would’ve been taken care of, but…”
My job is hectic right now so I’m distracted from missing him. The worst thing was when I put his insulated Thermos cup in the dishwasher a few days after he left.
Amy, I know you are as happy as a pig in slop. Enjoy it, girl. The years will pass faster than you can imagine.
October 28, 2007 at 7:34 pm
lovesamerica:
Amy -you wrote:
” Nate is working Christmas and Anita told Dad all she wanted for Christmas was a two way ticket down here so she can be with him during college break. She’s in love. She was crying the other night on the phone because she’s up there and he’s down here. She said he’s all she thinks about and if he met someone else “she’d just die”. Probably sounds like me, huh? I can’t be too critical because I was and still am all flippy over Nick”.
No Amy, Anita doesn’t sound like you. Don’t get mad at me for saying it,but she sounds more like Mike.
Both you and Nick would have walked away from the relationship if either one of you wanted out. Nick did just that when you chose Mike the first time over him. You would have too if the shoe was on the other foot. That’s not to say you both didn’t care for each other. Maturity means knowing that even though you love someone if the other person wants out of the relationship, true love says to let him or her go if that is what makes them truly happy.
Anita is infatuated with Nate. Nate is not ready to commit. Anita wants what you have with Nick. Nate is not yet ready for that.
It’s been only a month and a half that they know each other and she’s talking marriage!!! Tell her to cool her jets or she is going to spook him.
You did alot of soul searching to find true love. She has to do that too.
Love
Jake
November 5, 2007 at 2:27 am
Artist: Irving Berlin
Song: Let’s Have Another Cup O’ Coffee
[Verse:]
Why worry when skies are gray
Why should we complain
Let’s laugh at the cloudy day
Let’s sing in the rain
Songwriters say the storm quickly passes
That’s their philosophy
They see the world through rose-colored glasses
Why shouldn’t we?
[Refrain:]
Just around the corner
There’s a rainbow in the sky
So let’s have another cup o’ coffee
And let’s have another piece o’ pie!
Trouble’s just a bubble
And the clouds will soon roll by
So let’s have another cup o’ coffee
And let’s have another piece o’ pie
Let a smile be your umbrella
For it’s just an April show’r
Even John D. Rockefeller
Is looking for the silver lining
Mister Herbert Hoover
Says that now’s the time to buy
So let’s have another cup o’ coffee
And let’s have another piece o’ pie!
Things that really matter
Are the things that gold can’t buy
So let’s have another cup o’ coffee
And let’s have another piece o’ pie!
Take care everybody,
Jake
November 6, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Hi Jake. I wondered where you were. I couldn’t find this link but I knew eventually you’d come back. How are you?
YOur daughter’s wedding must be coming up shortly. When is it? I bet she’s beautiful and she’s fortunate to have such a wonderful Daddy to give her away. You are so precious to so many. What would we do without our Big Jake??!!
I’ve been busy at work. I’ve worked over a few nights. I’ve been trying some crock pot recipes because a lot of time I don’t know what hours Nick is working and I want him to have a hot meal. He’s put on 8 pounds already!! He’s been running because he doesn’t want to get “ponch”. He sure has a sweet tooth and anything with peanut butter is his vice. Especially cookies. I never saw someone eat so many cookies at one crack! I make him a chocolate peanut butter pie and you’d have thought I gave him a million dollars. It’s fun.
My sister is very possessive and I told her she needed to slow down with her pursuit of Nate. That ticked her off because she immediately thought he was seeing someone down here and I wasn’t telling her. Needless to say, we got into an argument on the phone. She called me back a few hours later crying. She says she never felt this way about anyone before and the thought of losing him scares her. She’s even considering dropping out of school and moving down here. Duh!! Six months to go and she wants to drop out. I told her if she was that hell bent on it to at least transfer her credits and finish somewhere at a college down here. My Dad is fuming about it. I could tell you more but I’m on my lunch hour and don’t have the time. Also, I think you might be right about my Mom wanting my Dad back. She’s called him a few times to talk about Anita, and now they’re going to meet for lunch…I don’t know what to think. My Dad says it’s nothing but lunch, be acts different about it. Weird.
Gotta go.
Love ya.
November 7, 2007 at 3:54 am
lovesamerica:
Mrs. Greeneyes!
Did ya get lost?
We were worried about you!
I’ve been pretty busy here with all the wedding stuff as you well know.
2 weeks to go! And the tension builds.
still lots to do.wedding gown ,tuxedos,hair appointments ,moving furniture to the newlyweds apartment all that good stuff.
Chill with the peanut butter cookies and cakes already! 8 pounds? pretty soon the perps are going to make with the donut jokes when Nick has to make an arrest!
I told you your Mom has the hots for your Dad! I think Daddy has them for her too. Don’t forget that they were hot and heavy for each other once upon a time.
Weddings have a bad habit of rekindling old feelings and that is what happened here.
Your Dad can pooh pooh the fact that he is having “only”lunch with your Mom. I wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t both tempted to have some dessert too. You know,some “Afternoon Delight”.
I know what you are going to say:
“YUCH!!!GAG!!EWEEEEW!!!”
Hey ,don’t forget ,they are only human.
We really complicate our lives here,don’t we? If they both would have been less selfish,they would have still been together.
You thought they hated each other ,didn’t you? Well ,they thought so too but surprise!
They don’t!
And Anita… She is just a kid who has fallen head over heals for a guy who isn’t quite yet ready for marriage. How do you get her to understand this without breaking her heart?
You have to tell her that she has to finish college where she is right now! Nate has to be pining over her ,not the other way around.
He has to see that she is the prize
to be won. You have to make her understand that.
Got to get some work done before bed.
Love,
Jake
November 7, 2007 at 11:59 am
Jake, yes, I did get lost. Somehow I can’t find my way back here if the link is gone. I’m not too computer savvy.
I’m also recovering from a severe bout of nausea. Your fault. The visual I got from my parents having an erotic encounter is too much for my stomach to handle. That is just plain gross. It’s almost as bad as having your granfather slip you the tongue when you kiss him good night!! Blah!! So gross.
I can’t even imagine my Mom and Dad together again. Not to mention, Vicky would be livid, and PISSED. Dad would be cheating on her and I don’t like that kind of stuff. But, then again, Mom is really pretty and shapely and all that gunk and Dad even told me she was still stunning at my wedding. And she is. Kinda bitchy, not kinda, VERY BITCHY, but most men will put up with that for a while if you’re pretty enough. MEN. Sometimes the way they think is so annoying. I’m glad you’re not like that. It gives me hope that once everything starts to sag and wrinkle Nick will still think I’m beautiful.
Anita. She is in hot pursuit to say the least. And Nate. He’s so darn cute and such a flirt. He even flirts with me. In a cute way. He’s not hitting on me, he’s just got a very good personality and he’s loveable. He knows girls like him. He flew up to see my sister before the wedding and she hasn’t been the same since. He’s a big guy, he works out with Nick. And he’s got a big smile. Likes to joke around. I don’t see him getting married any time soon. I don’t dare say that to Anita because she has her claws out. They talk everyday on the phone and Nate tells me he really likes my sister, too. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.
My Dad is mad about Anita going goofy. He told her if she drops out he’s taking back the car and he won’t pay for any college again. Now she’s mad at him because he “doesn’t understand”.
Anyway, it’s been fun. Have to get ready for work.
Love ya
November 8, 2007 at 5:26 am
lovesamerica:
Amy:
Does this sound familiar?
In post 75 you wrote:
This is terrible to admit, but deep down, I would love to see my Mom and Dad back together again. He’s so cute and my Mom is so pretty…they just look right together. I know, I know…sorry.
Then in post 91 you wrote:
I can’t even imagine my Mom and Dad together again. Not to mention, Vicky would be livid, and PISSED. Dad would be cheating on her and I don’t like that kind of stuff. But, then again, Mom is really pretty and shapely and all that gunk and Dad even told me she was still stunning at my wedding. And she is. Kinda bitchy, not kinda, VERY BITCHY, but most men will put up with that for a while if you’re pretty enough. MEN. Sometimes the way they think is so annoying. I’m glad you’re not like that. It gives me hope that once everything starts to sag and wrinkle Nick will still think I’m beautiful.
You are still such a little girl deep down inside,aren’t you?!!
Your parents are human. Why can’t they still have some nice feelings for each other? You are so torn about that still,even now.
Don’t ever change. That is part of your charm,your innocense.
And all this talk about sagging when you get older! You really don’t sag, you ,well …,you just get older!
It’s funny young women don’t catch my eye the same way they did when I was younger. In fact ,if I see a pretty young girl , I think of my daughters. If I didn’t , I would feel guilty ,like some kind of lech,like a dirty old man!
No,i find women my own age attractive and that brings me right back to my wife. I think she thinks I am a pest sometimes but I can’t help it. She sighs and just laughs.
Regarding Anita- give her a couple of pointers regarding Nate. Show her you are on her side.
She has to cool it and let him take the lead or she will either scare him off or give him the impression that she’s in the bag and he doesn’t have to work at the relationship.
You once said “Why does he even think he has me? I’m not anybody’s untill I say I am.”
Men love “the chase”. She should give Nate something to chase after. When men are chased ,THEY RUN! Tell this to your sister.
And tell her to finish school and make your father happy already! He is probably saddled with debt with her tuition and not even telling you.
Got to get some sleep.
Love
Jake
November 8, 2007 at 11:34 am
Jake, when I re-read some of my posts I feel like I’m scatterbrained. Deep down I WOULD love to have my parents back together, but, then I remember how it was when they WERE together. Not good. Dad has been with Vicky a long time and she would get hurt. That’s not right. If there was no Vicky, maybe I would feel differently. Mom and Dad DO look better together because they’re both nice looking people. My Dad has stayed in shape and Vicky has let herself go. And that’s a shame because she’s not that old. She’s really fat. Dumpy looking. I’m not saying that to be mean, it’s just the truth. She doesn’t have a youthful appearance. She has one of those middle-aged bubble cut hair-do’s. My Dad is so cute. He’s tall and thin. He’s classy. He speaks well and is so gentlmenly. He’s got nice eyes. Kind eyes. You see him stand next to Vicky, and you think, what was he thinking??? You see him next to my Mom, and you think, wow, what a classy couple. I really noticed it at my wedding. And my Mom is youthful looking. She still wears her hair long. It’s shoulder length and wispy with highlights around her face. She makes up beautifully. She’s got a nice shape and walks confidently. Beautiful teeth, high cheek bones, nice smile. You notice her when she walks into a room. But Dad left her for Vicky. If they were just divorced and got back together, that would be perfect. My Mom is a control freak and my Dad is no puppet. I don’t know what to think. They’re meeting tomorrow afternoon. I know the restaurant and it’s a romantic atmosphere, which makes me wonder what’s going on. My Mom made the reservations and she said Dad told her to pick anyplace she wanted. My Mom acts excited about it, too. She told me Dad has been so sweet to her and she said he always did know how to treat a woman, so maybe you’re afternoon delight thing (gag) isn’t too much off the mark. It just creeps me out.
I talke with Anita and told her to back off Nate. Yes, I said it nicely. I even asked her if they were intimate when he flew up there and she got irritated and said “NO”. She said he was a perfect gentlemen. Nick told me Nate told him he wanted someone like me who hasn’t been around. I don’t know what Anita has told him, but she’s been with a few guys. Anita also told me that Nate told her he was looking for an old-fashioned girl so she’s trying to be what he wants. Don’t get me wrong, Anita isn’t loose, she’s a real nice person, she’s just always had a lot of guys after her and she knows she’s pretty and she’s crumbled a few times with her boyfriend’s. But she IS a nice person. She told me she fell in love with Nate immediately…maybe she did. I know how I felt when I first met Nick. I melted. Bad. I still do. He looks at me a certain way, and I’m all done.
I want to tell you what a fine gentlemen I think you are. I love the way you love your wife and the values you have and how you love God. You are such a wonderful example for me. If I was an older woman and single, I’d try to steal you from Carmen. She’d probably shoot me, but I’d have to try. You are so dear and sweet.
I know you’ll probably cry giving your daughter away. I’m sure she’ll be just beautiful and I wish her the best on her new life.
Gotta get ready for work.
Love ya.
November 8, 2007 at 11:46 pm
lovesamerica:
Amy-
Your Mom’s thoughts the day before she has lunch with your dad:
Complications,morals,Right,Wrong …
“All’s fair in love and war”… Cheating..
or is it?,,,who was there first?… losing my husband to “the other woman”… getting even… does he still have feelings for me?
…I look pretty damn good for my age,much better than SHE does!… She stole my husband… She ruined my life…MY DAUGHTER’S WEDDING…MY HUSBAND WITH HER!..
I thought I hated him…but I THINK I WANT HIM BACK! SHE DOESN’T DESERVE HIM! I HAVE NOBODY. He is so damned cute,even now!
I wonder…for old time’s sake…does he want me THAT way?…
Screw her, I’m going for it! … all’s fair in love and war.
Strange, isn’t it …the desires of the heart.
Jake
November 9, 2007 at 12:25 am
JAKE, please tell me you’re joking. I don’t want them playing games. Someone always loses in the game…someone ALWAYS gets hurt.
I talked with my Dad. He told me he always has had feelings for my Mom because they had two children together. He told me she’s been really nice to him on the phone. She even brought up how they met…this whole thing is making me nervouse.
I know about the desires of the heart. I wanted Nick so badly when I first met him. I was tormented every time I went in to the shelter. I used to fantasize about him. I even pretended Mike was him when Mike would kiss me. That’s how badly I wanted to be with him. And I finally ended up where I always wanted to be.
I hope my parents don’t do anything stupid.
November 9, 2007 at 1:57 am
Jake, I keep re-reading your post 94. The “all’s fair in love and war”. Nick said that. You didn’t like it when he said it, too. I remember. You didn’t like him at all in the beginning because you thought he was trespassing.
I think my Mom is up to something and I think you think so, too. I don’t trust her. I think she might go after Dad, he’ll crumble, ruin him and Vicky, and then after she’s gotten even walk away from it all.
Between my mother and my sister I don’t know who’s going to drive me the craziest. Nick doesn’t understand why I’m so upset about it. He made a crack I didn’t like and I’ve been kind of cool with him tonight. He said my Dad would be a fool if my Mom made a move and he shot her down. I said, my Dad is married to Vicky now. And Nick kind of chuckled and said, Yeah, I know, that’s what I mean. He’d be a damn fool to walk away from an afternoon with your mother…any guy would be.
That ticks me off.
November 9, 2007 at 2:15 am
Amy:
I wrote a long reply to your post 95 but it went out into cyber space never to be seen again. I’ll try to recap it.
You asked if I was joking. I replied that I can’t judge your mom and dad if they sincerely have feelings for each other and things get a little more touchy feely than they ought to tomorrow.
They had deep feelings for each other once upon a time. They shared a deep if not lasting love. Maybe the spark that remained rekindled at your wedding.I don’t know.
Did they get an annulment from the Catholic Church? I assume they were married in tha Catholic Church.
Without an annulment ,officially, they are still man and wife without it as the Church does not recognize divorce. That would mean that the marriage between your dad and vivky has no standing in the Catholic Church even if it does under the laws of the State of Pennsylvania. Strange,huh?
Funny
November 9, 2007 at 2:19 am
Funny thing about feelings. They don’t die. We mature over time and we realize we were selfish or inconsiderate in the past.
We get a second chance to make amends for hurting the people we really care about.
Your Dad is torn between two families now.
Your mom longs for what she lost. Vicky worries that her life with tyour dad could come to an abrupt end.
November 9, 2007 at 2:22 am
I don’t know your mom’s motivation.
Love or revenge? What do you think?
Does she hate your dad ? Vicky? Your dad AND Vicky as a couple?
Does she accept that they are together? Did she ever?
What do you think?
November 9, 2007 at 2:35 am
I would hope that there are still feelings between your mom and your dad. They shared
a marriage,love and they still share two beautiful daughters.
I would think that physical love between them is within the realm of possibility. If that love is just that on both their parts,who am I to judge if it is right or wrong?
If however ,your mom is motivated by revenge toward either your dad,Vicky or both of them ,then it is very ,very wrong.
I think lunch tomorrow will be pleasant .
They will share a meal and good conversation. They will talk about the two most beautiful products of their loving relationship, you and Anita. You both have made them very proud.
They will begin the phase of their lives as parents , future grandparents and most of all true friends with two very special bonds holding them together for life,you and your sister. They still are family through both of you. And they wouldn’t do anything to hurt either one of you.
Love
Jake
November 9, 2007 at 3:34 am
Amy:
You have to check this out. It is really cool!
http://www.youtube.com/swf/l.swf?video_id=QZFkZiwMLZ4&eurl=&iurl=http%3A//img.youtube.com/vi/QZFkZiwMLZ4/default.jpg&t=OEgsToPDskI_uOOQQ3Re_LRi7eky94j6&rel=1&border=0
November 9, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Click on the link and watch an artist in motion, some people have talent.
Jake
http://www.youtube.com/v/QZFkZiwMLZ4
November 9, 2007 at 3:02 pm
That video was awesome. Thanks for sharing.
Jake, my parents were married in a catholic church and no, they never got an annulment. But I think that’s bogus anyway. They chose to end their commitment with each other and started a new life with someone else. It irritates me that at this stage of the game after Anita and I were victims of their failure they might have re-newed feelings? Dad would be cheating regardless whether the catholic churches endorses the divorce or not. If they want to be together, fine, but be upfront with Vicky first. Not sneak around. I don’t like it. I really don’t.
I had my first little snit with Nick over this, too. I told him I didn’t like what he said about my Dad would be fool not to spend the afternoon with Mom if she was willing. He tried to schmooze over it by saying that all he meant was how backward it looks. I asked him what he meant and he said that Vicky looks like the ex-wife a guy cheat on with my Mom, not my Mom being the one cheated on. He said who would cheat on someone like that? Which just fueled my fire even more. How dare he talk like that about my Mom. I accused him of having a thing for her and he told me not to go nuts on him and he accused me of being jealous of my Mom!! That’s crazy. I’m not jealous of my Mom. I just get sick of hearing how beautfiul she is all the time and blah, blah, blah. That’s why she’s so self-centered. Everyone just falls all over her like she’s some kind of goddess. It bugs me. She’s my Mom and I wish she’d look and act like a normal mother. And I called her a little bit ago and she’s so happy about going to lunch with Dad. I asked her why don’t they invite Vicky along and she said, because we don’t want her along. And I said WE don’t want her along, or YOU don’t want her along. Then she said, Amy, honey, I’m having lunch with your father, why are you making such a big deal about it. And I said, because I thought you hated him, and she sort of laughed and said, how could I hate someone so cute and successful? So there it is, Jake, cute and successful…now tell me she doesn’t have an agenda going. Dad and Vicky just bought a beautiful new home on 2 acres w/ a lighted in ground swimming pool and Mom lives in a little 2 bedroom cottage a mile from the mall. I don’t like this and there better not be any screwing around. Pardon the pun.
November 10, 2007 at 4:40 am
Amy-
You wrote:
I’m not jealous of my Mom. I just get sick of hearing how beautfiul she is all the time and blah, blah, blah. That’s why she’s so self-centered. Everyone just falls all over her like she’s some kind of goddess.
Well Amelia Louise, listen up now little girl . I said this before. The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.
You call your mom the goddess. What are you? I called you an “alpha female” didn’t I?
Do you know what that means? I also used the lyrics from “Strut” to describe you.
you remember “Nations go to war over women like you”.
What am I talking about? “Goddess” ,”to die for” the type of feminine qualities most desired in women by men and therefore most expressed by women,alpha women like you.
Your mom has those qualities,and that’s why men fawn over her.You have those qualities too.
Just ask Mike. He was like Samson. At least he thought so in his own mind. Then you came along,Delilah. I said you were too much woman for him.
do you remember the line from King Kong (the 1933 version)
(describing King Kong)
——————————————————————————–
[Kong has been knocked out by gas bombs]
Carl Denham: Why, the whole world will pay to see this.
Captain Englehorn: No chains will ever hold that.
Carl Denham: We’ll give him more than chains. He’s always been king of his world, but we’ll teach him fear. We’re millionaires, boys. I’ll share it with all of you. Why, in a few months, it’ll be up in lights on Broadway: Kong, the Eighth Wonder of the World.
——————————————————————————–
and then when Kong lay dying after being shot and falling off the Empire State Building……
[last lines]
Police Lieutenant: Well, Denham, the airplanes got him.
Carl Denham: Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.
It was like that with Mike and you. You beat Mike to his knees well before Nick finished him off.
The difference between you and your Mom is that you did it unintentionally. You never wanted to hurt Mike. It just happended. You have a heart and that is why we love you.
Your Mom ,as you say ,has an agenda. You both have the power to bring strong men to their knees.
The best you could do in this situation is to warn your dad about your mom and her agenda. Tell him that Vicky will get hurt, your Mom will get revenge and he will hurt the children from his second marriage the way that you and Anita were hurt growing up.
And another thing, don’t let this come between you and Nick. It’s a shame that the first “tiff” you two had was over this silliness.
Love
Jake
November 10, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Jake, men never pursued me like you seem to think and Mike was a nut.
What’s silly to you may be major to someone else. The situation is hardly silly when it involves people you love and you’re concerned about the decisions they may make. My Dad doesn’t have any other children other than Anita and I. Vicky has kids from a previous marriage. She cheated on her ex-husband with my Dad. I guess he was a wife beater, a drunk, and never worked. Whatever.
I talked with my Dad last night. I told him my concerns. He told me he enjoyed being with my Mom. He said it was the first real conversation they’ve had in years. He did comment on how beautiful she looked, and he also he wished Vicky would take better care of herself. He doesn’t understand why she doesn’t. She doesn’t work outside the home and she even has a housekeeper come in once a week. She’s fat and lazy. And dumpy. I asked Dad what he would do if Mom wanted to rekindle things. He told he will always care about my Mom because she was his first love and they had two children. He said they were probably too yound when they got married and expected different things from the marriage. I asked him if anything “happened” after lunch and he said, we hugged, we promised each other we’d get along from now on for the sake of the kids and Mom kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for always supporting her and taking such wonderful care of me and Anita. She also told him she was wrong for a lot of things she said to us and she told him she was going to make it right. She was just bitter and angry over everthing and couldn’t handle being cheated on. Dad said he was sorry for that, too. Then he layed the big bomb on me. He told me he could easily FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH MY MOTHER AGAIN! I told him what she said about cute and successful and he just laughed!! He said she said that to him, too. I asked him what about Vicky, and he said he and Vicky have issues, too but he’d never hurt her.
This is not silly to me. I love Nick and we talked about it yesterday and I told him I DO get sick of everyone acting like my Mom is playmate of the year. Maybe it’s jealousy. I don’t think it is, but maybe it is a little. Men are so aroused and tempted visually that sometimes women that look good take advantage of that and I think my Mom knows how to push men’s buttons. It’s just that once they know her, they run away. No one wants to get eaten alive.
November 10, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Amy:
you wrote:
Jake, men never pursued me like you seem to think and Mike was a nut.
Men never pursued you because you weren’t in circulation too long. Men never pursued you? Tell that to Mike and Nick. Men never pursued you? What did that other young Marine say,you remember him don’t you,Spades was his name…
Spades Says:
March 19, 2007 at 7:04 pm
It’s like a movie reading this thing. lovesamerica, the movie wouldn’t be as interesting without you. You’re my favorite. Then I like Zealot. We need BJ an DJ to add clarity. If Americanwoman, Red Dawn, Angel, and Viber would show up more often, it would be even better.
I bet there’s hundreds of people reading this. Too bad Stephen Spielberg doesn’t get a hold of it. You’re a star, honey. I even fell in love with you. You’re sassy and vulnerable. Irresistable. I fantasize about being Mike. I wanted Nick to go away, but I have to be honest, he did do anything the rest of us wouldn’t have done given the chance.
Spades Says:
March 20, 2007 at 11:31 am
Suzy Q & lovesamerica,
I can tell you what it is. Innocence.
BJ once referred to Amy as fresh out of the box.
To be blunt, let me put it this way. She has no miles on her. Who doesn’t want a brand new car as opposed to a used one? You can break your model in your own way. But that aside, the world hasn’t corrupted her. She is genuine. What you see is what you get. She makes a man feel like a man. She’s not in competition with a guy. She wants to be taken care of. A normal man would put her on a pedestal and worship the ground she walks on. She’s not a libber. She’s the type of girl that when you’re done shoveling all that snow you come into the house to a hot meal and a back rub. She’s exclusively yours.
Untarnished, devoted. You would love her to death.
I’m 30. An Iraq combat veteran. Just like Nick. I’ve been with women. So has Nick. But in about three weeks of meeting Amy, the guy went nuts over her. What’s that tell you? She’s not just a prize, she’s THE PRIZE.
You women should get your shit together and realize that men WANT WOMEN LIKE AMY. Not the foul mouthed, competitive, demanding selfish snots that we have an over abundance of. I’ll stay single until I can finally find a lady. And if I do, I’ll give her anything she wants. Are there any left?
And Mike may have been a nut, but he was nuts about you!
and don’t forget about me. I ‘ve said it before many times ,you have stolen my heart. I will never forget you,ever!
love
Jake
November 10, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Amy :
My final thoughts onyour parents lunch date:
I think lunch tomorrow will be pleasant .
They will share a meal and good conversation. They will talk about the two most beautiful products of their loving relationship, you and Anita. You both have made them very proud.
They will begin the phase of their lives as parents , future grandparents and most of all true friends with two very special bonds holding them together for life,you and your sister. They still are family through both of you. And they wouldn’t do anything to hurt either one of you.
And what really happened:
you wrote-
I talked with my Dad last night. I told him my concerns. He told me he enjoyed being with my Mom. He said it was the first real conversation they’ve had in years. He did comment on how beautiful she looked, and he also he wished Vicky would take better care of herself. He doesn’t understand why she doesn’t. She doesn’t work outside the home and she even has a housekeeper come in once a week. She’s fat and lazy. And dumpy. I asked Dad what he would do if Mom wanted to rekindle things. He told he will always care about my Mom because she was his first love and they had two children. He said they were probably too yound when they got married and expected different things from the marriage. I asked him if anything “happened” after lunch and he said, we hugged, we promised each other we’d get along from now on for the sake of the kids and Mom kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for always supporting her and taking such wonderful care of me and Anita. She also told him she was wrong for a lot of things she said to us and she told him she was going to make it right. She was just bitter and angry over everthing and couldn’t handle being cheated on. Dad said he was sorry for that, too. Then he layed the big bomb on me. He told me he could easily FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH MY MOTHER AGAIN! I told him what she said about cute and successful and he just laughed!! He said she said that to him, too. I asked him what about Vicky, and he said he and Vicky have issues, too but he’d never hurt her.
Little girl, your fairy tale continues…..
Love,
Jake
November 10, 2007 at 1:08 pm
And when I mentioned “silliness” it was because NOTHING should come between you and Nick. NOTHING, NO ONE ,PERIOD.
you as a couple come first . NEVER EVER FORGET THAT!
November 10, 2007 at 1:10 pm
I think your parents will get back together
down the line. Your dad will always take care of Vicky and her kids but your Mom was and always will be his first love and you and Anita will always ber their crown jewels.
November 10, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Hi y’all. DJ bought the car but he can’t drive it cuz he can’t tag it. The SOFA agreement with Belgium for contractors is all messed up. Worst case scenario, he may have to come home after 90 days when his tourist status runs out. This is the fault of the State Dept, the Air Force agency that let the contract and his employer’s legal team who appearently wasn’t on top of things. The State Dept. is at biggest fault for ignoring Belgium’s request to redefine the agreement for 3 years…so they suspended it. So he is riding his bicycle and it has begun snowing and sleeting. If the Army will give him a part time job stocking groceries at the commissary, all this will be fixed. I will be sicing my Congress Critters on this first opportunity.
November 10, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Mrs. DJ, nice hearing from you. I hope everything works out for DJ and you. It’s too bad things can’t be more simple. Always somthing, huh?
Big Jake. Okay. I guess I see what you’re saying. I can’t believe how you can pull all these old posts up. I remember them when I read them, but I had completely forgotten about this Spades guy. I guess I never really gave it a thought that men would look at me that way. It makes me feel good to think they do, but I still have my doubts.
I haven’t talked with my Mom yet. I tried calling her last night but she wasn’t there. I’ll try again some time today because I want to hear what she has to say about my Dad.
The thing that really bugs me about all of this, just say they do get back together, is all those years that she and Dad fought and how it affected me, and really missing him and feeling unloved, just to have them get together now, it makes me very irritated. I think it’s crap. How can two people be so stupid.
I have some shopping to do and Nick and I are meeting for lunch. I’m going to really love him up on our lunch hour and get him thinking about later because I feel very insecure..I don’t ever want NIck and I to end up like Mom and Dad. I don’t ever want anything to come between us. I love him so much and it scares me the way people fall in and out of love. I don’t like it. I’m getting all teary because I want him home right now. I need a hug and reassurance. I know. I’m a big baby.
November 10, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Amy:
on divorce- I personally do not believe in divorce unless it was the result of an abusive relationship so intolerable that a true marriage never had the possibility to exist. That marriage would be found to be null and void acording to Catholic doctrine.
I rely on Matthew 19:1-9 for my convictions.
Matthew 19:1-9 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville Tennessee. All rights reserved.
Matthew 19
The Question of Divorce
1 When Jesus had finished this instruction, (A) He departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan. (B) 2 Large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there. (C) 3 Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” (D)
4 “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created [a] them in the beginning made them male and female , (E) (F) 5 and He also said:
For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh ? (G) (H)
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked Him, “did Moses command [us] to give divorce papers (I) and to send her away?”
8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (J) [b]
Divorce
The Catholic Church seeks to follow the teaching of Jesus that marriage is indissoluble; “What God has united, man must not divide”. (Mark, 10:9)
Read about divorce in Cherishing Life.
2382 The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.
Between the baptized, “a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.”
2383 The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.
2384 Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:
If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.
2385 Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.
2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for United Kingdom except Northern Ireland
copyright © 1994 Geoffrey Chapman / Libreria Editrice Vaticana used with permission
1644 The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses’ community of persons, which embraces their entire life: “so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” They “are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.” This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.
1645 “The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection.”
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for United Kingdom except Northern Ireland
copyright © 1994 Geoffrey Chapman / Libreria Editrice Vaticana used with permission
November 10, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Why I don’t believe in divorce except in cases where no true marriage ever existed and the marriage vow was therefore null and void.
Matthew 19:1-6 (Today’s New International Version)
Today’s New International Version (TNIV)
© Copyright 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society
Matthew 19
Divorce
1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ [a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ [b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
November 10, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Amy:
Look at what you wrote:
The thing that really bugs me about all of this, just say they do get back together, is all those years that she and Dad fought and how it affected me, and really missing him and feeling unloved, just to have them get together now, it makes me very irritated. I think it’s crap. How can two people be so stupid.
Sometimes we have to go through alot of crappy situations to come to appreciate
what we have. Not only to appreciate but to cherish and protect it.
From what you have seen on here, haven’t you come to that conclusion yet?
Look at Tony’s situation as a prime example not to mention your own!
Your parents had to go through it all and they still are. If your mother is sincere(and I get the feeling now that she is) that is real emotional growth. The same thing with your dad.
You have to have a family meeting with both of them and express YOUR hurts,feelings and hopes for the future. Same thing with Anita. She has to understand what true love is. She was exposed to all the pettimess and foolishness ,all the selfishness you experienced growing up.
Your parents are still relatively young. You love who you love period. You know that
from experience.
Have a very romantic night with your Capt. America. Cherish and protect your relationship.
Love
Jake
November 11, 2007 at 7:10 am
Mrs DJ,
You wrote:
Hi y’all. DJ bought the car but he can’t drive it cuz he can’t tag it….So he is riding his bicycle and it has begun snowing and sleeting.
Bwtter remind Homeboy to bundle up when he goes out riding!
Give him my regards,
Jake
November 11, 2007 at 11:06 am
Jake, I talked with Anita and it irritates us both that our parents put us through a divorce and now after all the damage is done they decide to get along. She said the two of them were ganging up on her because she’s fallen for Nate and wants to move down here. I told her she would be dumb to drop out of school now, that Nate will still be here in June, too, and I doubt he’ll hook up and get serious with anyone else before then. Nate really likes her and he’s glad she’s coming down. I told you, they talk every day and she got a dozen roses from him on Friday, so I told her if he didn’t care about her he wouldn’t have sent those flowers. She shouldn’t worry about him. But we’re both insecure. I see a lot of myself in Anita. She just wants someone to love her and not leave later on. I mentioned your suggestion about having a family meeting and she liked the idea. She’s flying down here next week.
Found something else out that I thought was interesting. Dad and Vicky must be having some issues he never disclosed. They never sold the house they lived in before they bought this new one. They’re renting it out. Dad didn’t put Vicky’s name on this new house. He said if things didn’t work out he was going to give Vicky the other house. I asked him what kind of issues they were having and he said that Vicky was always very jealous of my Mom and the way Dad always made sure she was okay. He has always paid her (Mom’s) health insurance and gave her the down payment on the house she lives in now. My Mom has always had an ear problem and has had to have a couple of surgeries and Dad kept her health ins. up because of it. He said Vicky would blow a gasket everytime he helped her. He said she wasn’t married and didn’t have a job with benefits and she was his daughters mother and he wasn’t about to stand by and see anything happen to her because we needed our mother. When Dad and I patched things up, Vicky didn’t like it. He was spending money coming down here and buying us girls things. I guess she complained when he bought Anita and I cars when we graduated and paid our college expenses. He said he told her just because he divorced our mother doesn’t mean he divorced us and that he loved us and had an obligation to take care of us. Vicky told him all he was only obligated to pay child support and she’s sick and tired of all this extra stuff, that it was cheating her and HER kids and her ex-husband doesn’t even pay support. Dad said he never deprived Vicky of anything and she doesn’t even have to work so she doesn’t know what her gripe is. He said she was “super pissed” about all the money he spent on my wedding and that I was just using him! That ticks me off because if you remember I told my Dad I’d buy my own dress and Nick and I paid for a lot of our own wedding expenses. So she’s full of crap about that. That’s why he said when this house came up for sale he was able to get a good deal on it and he told Vicky he wasn’t putting her name on it but he would sign the other house over to her so she’d always have a place to live. I didn’t know any of this was going on and I feel bad but now I want to slap Vicky for stabbing us in the back and trying to come between my Dad and us. I don’t like her. She acts real nice to your face and then she slams you behind your back. I guess she really bashed Mom to Dad at the wedding. My Mom was VERY nice at my wedding and she always acts like a lady. Vicky told Dad she looked like the town whore and if she was so great how come she couldn’t ever get anyone to marry her. Dad said that really ticked him off when she said that because, (I can’t believe he told me this) my Mom was a virgin when they married and she’s always had high morals and he knows she would never sleep around. He said when he defended her Vicky blew up at him. Vicky also called Anita and I a couple of spoiled brats and we’re milking him for every dime. I asked Dad why he was telling me this and he said because if Vicky and him can’t get past this he’s going to tell her to leave after their tenants lease is up. I feel bad for Dad, but I also think Vicky is a bitch. Sorry, I know you don’t like me saying things like that but that’s how I feel. She’s a phoney.
Nick and I had a wonderful lunch. I must’ve told him a million times how much I loved him and how proud I was to be his wife. He likes hearing that stuff. He brought me home some flowers last night, too. I think Nate probably told him he sent Anita roses so Nick got the idea to do that. He doesn’t do that very often that’s why I wondered, but I still made a big fuss over them and told him how wonderful he was and how lucky I am. And I am. I have the most wonderful husband in the world.
Nick had to work but I’m going to get a shower now and go to church, by myself. I’m going to pray that everything works out. By the way, my Dad also commented on how lovely my Mom looked at lunch. Jake, your predictions seem to be falling into place.
It amazes me.
Have a great day. I love ya.
November 11, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Jake, also, your post 112. I don’t believe in divorce, either, but everyone that gets divorced thinks they’re justified. God doesn’t join together every man and woman that gets married. Lots of people marry without ever praying about it or for all the wrong reasons. They don’t seek God first, before they make that commitment. That’s where I disagree with the Catholic church. Anybody can submit a request for anullment and probably get it. Who are they to determine whether it’s null and void? People stay committed to each other out of an act of will. They treat each other properly for the same reason. If Nick started beating me, or just plain treating me like crap, I would leave. If he didn’t seek counseling or if we couldn’t come to a meeting of the minds, I would divorce him. And I wouldn’t need an okay from the catholic church. I answer to God and God alone. I love my church, and I agree that people should try their best to stay married, especially if there are children, but some people make the wrong choice in a mate and you don’t approval to moce on with your life from the church. You need forgiveness from God.
November 11, 2007 at 12:17 pm
The last line, lots of typo’s. I meant to say, you don’t need approval from the Catholic church to MOVE on with your life. People make mistakes. That’s why the emphasis of Christ is all about love, mercy, forgiveness and redemption.
November 11, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Amy:
The Catholic Church is a framework for the laws and beliefs of the Catholic Faith.
The rules and regulations are called Canon Law.
Here is the official Church position on
marriage and divorce.
It seems to me that your parents are still married in the eyes of the Church. I’m no expert so I defer to Fr. Paul. I think you have to have a discussion with him about this situation as it progresses.
By the way , you never mentioned about Fr.Paul being at the wedding. I assume he performed your ceremony.
Divorce
The Catholic Church seeks to follow the teaching of Jesus that marriage is indissoluble; “What God has united, man must not divide”. (Mark, 10:9)
2382 The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.
Between the baptized, “a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.”
2383 The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.
2384 Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:
If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.
2385 Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.
2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for United Kingdom except Northern Ireland
copyright © 1994 Geoffrey Chapman / Libreria Editrice Vaticana used with permission
1644 The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses’ community of persons, which embraces their entire life: “so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” They “are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.” This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.
1645 “The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection.”
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for United Kingdom except Northern Ireland
copyright © 1994 Geoffrey Chapman / Libreria Editrice Vaticana used with permission
With love,
Jake
November 11, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Amy:
Here is the official church position on Divorce. I’m no expert. I suggest you talk to Fr. Paul about it. Seems to me your mom and dad are still considered husband & wife
by the church.
How is Fr. Paul? You didn’t mention him when you talked about your wedding.
Divorce
The Catholic Church seeks to follow the teaching of Jesus that marriage is indissoluble; “What God has united, man must not divide”. (Mark, 10:9)
2382 The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.
Between the baptized, “a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.”
2383 The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.
2384 Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:
If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.
2385 Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.
2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for United Kingdom except Northern Ireland
copyright © 1994 Geoffrey Chapman / Libreria Editrice Vaticana used with permission
1644 The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses’ community of persons, which embraces their entire life: “so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” They “are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.” This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.
1645 “The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection.”
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for United Kingdom except Northern Ireland
copyright © 1994 Geoffrey Chapman / Libreria Editrice Vaticana used with permission
with love,
Jake
November 11, 2007 at 7:16 pm
Amy :
You wrote:
I don’t believe in divorce, either, but everyone that gets divorced thinks they’re justified. God doesn’t join together every man and woman that gets married. Lots of people marry without ever praying about it or for all the wrong reasons. They don’t seek God first, before they make that commitment.
The intent to get married and the vows exchanged are sacred. The commitment to marry is with the understanding that it is “untill death due us part”. That solomn
vow is what we freely and of our own free will commit to.
If you are married in the Catholic Church as a Catholic ,you are expected to live up to that vow. NO EXCUSES.
If one or both parties did not have that
intention when the vows were exchanged, that is a sacrilege and the vows are invalid. These are the grounds for annulment.
November 11, 2007 at 7:18 pm
In the Catholic Church, annulment is a canonical procedure according to the Church’s Canon Law whereby an ecclesial tribunal judges whether the bond of matrimony in a particular case was entered into invalidly–that is, that the a true marriage according to God never took place. Annulment is not the ecclesial equivalent of a divorce. Some [Who?] accuse the Catholic Church of hypocrisy for preaching that all marriages are permanent, but providing the means of annulment. The Church reconciles these two seemingly opposing ideas by understanding that a “Declaration of Nullity” is not a dissolution of an existing marriage, but rather a determination that a marriage never existed. While some may try to use an annulment to get around the “no divorce” rule, that is not the reason the Church has a process to declare nullity.
According to the Church, an annulment affirms the Scriptural basis of divorce and at the same time affirms that in a true marriage, a man and a woman become one flesh before the eyes of God. The Church’s teaching on marriage is that it is a Sacrament and that it is only validly contracted by the two individuals. Various impediments can render an individual unable to contract marriage.
For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. In this case, the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged. -Catechism of the Catholic Church
November 11, 2007 at 7:22 pm
A reason for annulment is called an diriment impediment to the marriage. Prohibitory impediments (which do not exist in the Latin Church), such as being betrothed to another person at the time of the wedding, make entering a marriage illicit but do not invalidate the marriage. Diriment impediments, such as being brother and sister, or being married to another person at the time of the wedding, prevent such a marriage from being contracted at all, the result is a putative marriage.
Diriment impediments or grounds for annulment include:
Consanguinity
Psychological state precluding ability to consent
No intention, when marrying, to remain faithful to the spouse (simulation of consent)
No intention, when marrying, to have children
Deception of one party by the other in order to obtain consent, and if the partner had been aware of the truth, would not have consented to marry
Abduction with the intent to compel marriage (known as raptus), constitutes an impediment as long as she remains in the kidnapper’s power. (The abduction of a man constitutes an impediment in the Eastern Church, but oddly not in the Latin church.)
Failure to adhere to requirements of canon law for marriages, such as clandestinity
Impediment of Crime, bringing about physically (or through moral cooperation) the death of one’s own spouse or the spouse of another, with the intention of marriage
Undispensed lack of form
November 11, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Dispensation
For just cause, some impediments can be dispensed. A dispensation relaxes the law in a particular case, prior to the marriage. While some relationships cannot have the impediment of consanguity dispensed (up to the third collateral line), a marriage can be allowed between cousins. This renders the marriage non-annulable on the grounds of consanguinity. If an invalid marriage has been contracted, and the diriment impediment can be dispensed or ceases, a convalidation can take place or sanatio in radice can be granted to make the marriage valid.
[edit] Process
Marriages annulled under the Catholic Church are considered as ab initio, meaning that the marriage was invalid from the beginning. Some worry that their children will be considered illegitimate if they get an annulment. However, Canon 1137 of the Code of Canon Law specifically affirms the legitimacy of children born in both valid and putative marriages (objectively invalid, though at least one party celebrated in good faith). Critics point to this as additional evidence that a Catholic annulment is similar to divorce; although civil laws regard the offspring of all marriages as legitimate.
An annulment from the Catholic Church is independent from obtaining a civil divorce, although before beginning a process before an Ecclesiastical Tribunal, it has to be clear that the marriage cannot be rebuilt. Some countries, such as Italy, allow the annulment process to substitute for the civil act of divorce.
If someone has been married previously, he or she must get a Declaration of Nullity before entering into a marriage in the Catholic Church, even if neither party in the marriage was Catholic (privilege of faith being separate cases). Catholics acknowledge the indissolubility of marriage for any baptized persons who give themselves freely in the bond of marriage and recognize the marriages of other Christians in most cases. However the Church may decide not to recognize previous marriages involving Catholics conducted contrary to the Ne Temere requirements.
Recognition of the process of annulments by Eastern Orthodox tribunals
The Code of Canon Law for the Eastern Churches (CCEO) in canon 780 follows the Second Vatican Council’s teaching that the tribunals of the Orthodox Church have a valid annulment process to declare a marriage null. Only divine law and merely civil effects of marriage are not considered valid actions by a tribunal. In other words, if an Orthodox tribunal holds that the marriage was invalid from its inception, that decision would be accepted by a marriage tribunal in the Catholic church. However, some of the Orthodox churches allow a second or third marriage in oikonomia (economy), which IS NOT permitted in the Catholic Church. This concept states that the first marriage was valid, and the second is allowed in the economy of salvation. The Catholic Church would see this as contrary to divine law, and so not a valid act. The same impediment would exist as with divorce or “dissolution” of a bond (annulment) that is not favor of the faith.[1]
November 11, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Amy
In the eyes of the Catholic Church,your parents are STILL man and wife.
If your parents sought an anulment,and presented any of the reasons for a nullification of their vows,and it was determined that reason for that termination existed ,then they would have been ben granted an annulment.
The $64,000 question is did grounds for annulment exist? I don’t know about that one. They seem to care about each other and really have demonstrated that over the years(at least your father has) and the feelings of apreciation expressed by your mother to your father about that care show me that she dstill cares about him though she (or her pride)was hurt.
I am not a priest. Fr. Paul is. Why not discuss this with him?
November 11, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Now the possibility of your father and mother reuniting exists. Your father has already started making provision for the care of Vicky and her children. That is more evidence that he wants to re-unite your family.
If his first marriage is still valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church, then the second marriage with Vicky doesn’t exist and is null and void IN THE EYES OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
Little girl, I get the feeling that a lot of things are going to change ,if you get my drift.
Bottom line …Daddy loves Mommy and Mommy loves Daddy. They both love you and Anita.
Seeing each other at your wedding reawakened those loving feelings they thought were dead and gone.
love,
Jake
November 11, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Amy :
you wrote:
My Mom was VERY nice at my wedding and she always acts like a lady. Vicky told Dad she looked like the town whore and if she was so great how come she couldn’t ever get anyone to marry her. Dad said that really ticked him off when she said that because, (I can’t believe he told me this) my Mom was a virgin when they married and she’s always had high morals and he knows she would never sleep around.
Maybe your Mom didn’t marry again because she wanted your Dad back? What do you thain about that!
November 11, 2007 at 9:29 pm
Jake, thanks for all the info about the church. I think I will talk with F. Paul about it. I like the idea that Dad and Vicky’s marriage is null and void because I want HER to be null and void. She’s got a big mouth and I find the things she says about my Mom and us kids out of line. Neither Anita or I have ever disgraced our parents. Her kids are jerks. Her son got a DWI last year and they do lousy in school. I don’t know how my Dad stands it. They both have attitude. They’re nice to your face, but they probably trash us behind our backs, too.
I think most people have the intention of staying married when they first marry. But people change. Or they grwo apart. Not everyone is like you, Jake. I wish they were. People are generally selfish and look to satisfy themselves first. Our culture is a me culture and it seems like everything is watered down and accepted. Vows ARE sacred. But I don’t know too many people who think ANYTHING is sacred anymore. It’s sad. I have always been told that God has us here at this specific time period for a reason. Well, if I could pick, I wish I would’ve been a young woman in the 40’s. When men were men and women were woman. Everyone loved their country and held family and values sacred. I think I would’ve fit in better then. I had some girls get mad at me at work Friday becuae I told them living together was wrong. They didn’t like hearing that and they told me I was judgemental. I said there’s a difference between a judgement and an opinion, and an opinion is based onf facts. The fact is, God doesn’t approve of that and people that do that are hurting themselves. It affects your charactor and if you have childrend it sets a lousy example for them. I am traditional. So I’m not very popular with people. I think being traditional strengthens families and produces good character in your kids. They tell me I’m wrong and that everyone is different. That’s true. Everyone IS different, but we are all under the same rules and we will have to give an account of our life to God. They think I’m weird. Maybe I am. I only know I want to stay married to Nick my whole life and raise up good citizens with dignity and charactor and kindness. I hope I can do it in this crazy world. People like you give me hope. You’re so good. You are so very, very, good.
Nick will be coming home any minute now. I made him some stuffed shells, garlic bread and salad. I also baked an apple pie and the house smells wonderful. I lit a whole bunch of candles all over the house and I’m going to have dinner by candle light tonight. Maybe give him a back rub. I have to take care of my man so he never leaves me…I’m going to cherish and protect what we have. Just like you taught me to……
Love ya Uncle Jake.
November 12, 2007 at 3:13 am
Amy :
You wrote-
I have always been told that God has us here at this specific time period for a reason. Well, if I could pick, I wish I would’ve been a young woman in the 40’s. When men were men and women were woman. Everyone loved their country and held family and values sacred. I think I would’ve fit in better then.
I believe that we are here at this time and this place for a reason too.I believe God has tasks and challenges for all of us. And we are strtegically placed by Him to meet those challenges,to test us for some purpose in the afterlife. I believe that we are here to learn and to develope our souls for His purposes.
I try to live my life that way. We are not supposed to fit in. We are supposed to be different,to be examples to others once we are aware of that other purpose.
How do we know what that other purpose is?
You just do . It is a feeling you get deep down inside when you do what is right even though it is easier to do something else,to follow the crowd.
No, I think we are in the end times. Look at the scandals in the Church. Look at world events. Famine,fires ,floods,wars and rumors of wars,evil so real everywhere- all you have to do is turn on the tv .
That is the challenge we face. Just live your life. Seek what is right in all things. Help your neighbor. Be the best you can be.
Look what we were able to accomplish here.
We helped Zach rebuild his relationship with his dad, come to grips with his tragedy with Caroline and we were there to support him when he lost Amy and the twins.
We were here when he needed somone to help him.
Look at Tony and Bethany. We helped them get back together. We helped save their marriage. I keep thinking what if we weren’t here to help him ? What would have happened to Bethany? Would she have gotten the help to cope with her grief over losing Sammy? ,with losing Tony?
What about Tony? What are the odds, bitter as he had become,that he would do something crazy and end up in jail?
I think we really helped them.
And Shelby,we tried to help her she lost 50 lbs and hopefully she is sticking with the diet and the Chub Club. I really miss her and wish she would check in.
And you … what about you ,little girl?
You got your Dad back! You found true love and got married to your Capt. America. Then you got YOUR MOM,YES YOUR MOM BACK!!!! And now mom and dad seem to be renewing their relationship, maybe to get back together!
You can’t make this stuff up,can you?
November 12, 2007 at 3:21 am
You have helped me by letting me help you.
Love is like a flower garden . If you cut the flowers and give them away more will grow in their place. That is what happened here. It is still happening and we all are a part of it.
I hope your Mom and Dad fall hoplessly and helplessly in love again . Second chances.
That’s what this is all about.
“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”
John Wayne
You are so very special to me.
with lots of love,
Uncle Jake
November 12, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Mornin’ Jake. I talked with my Mom last night. She said she had a very nice lunch with Dad and they agreed that if Anita drops out of school and moves down here he will take back the car. She will have to get a job and support herself and my Mom told me to only let her stay with us until she found an apartment and I’m to give her no more than a few weeks to do that. She’s mad that Anita even gave that idea a thought. I told her love does strange things to people….just look at you and Dad. She was shocked when I said that. She said, What are you talking about? I said it looks like you and Dad have some smoulder embers. She laughed. She said just because she and Dad have withdrawn the weapons and joined forces doesn’t mean they’re in love. And I said, well, what does it mean? She said, it means we love our kids more than we dislike each other. I said Dad told me he enjoyed being with you Friday and that you looked lovely. I said, you got all dressed up didn’t you? You probably wore perfume and everything, didn’t you? She said, I always dress up when I go to a swanky restaurant and I always wear perfume, so there’s nothing out of the ordinary. She told me to quit conjuring up some fairy tale. So then, I told her what Dad told me about him and Vicky. She said, that’s good to know. And iasked her why. And she said, it just is. Then she wouldn’t talk about it anymore. So, was I wrong to tell her that stuff? My Mom’s hard to figure because she knows how to get what she wants from men. I don’t want her messing up my Dad. She’s mean. She can be mean and spiteful. I’ve seen her in action. She’s had boyfriends but they’ve never lasted very long, You asked if my Mom was hoping to get back with my father? I don’t know. That’s a stretch. She likes the fact he’s a Senior VP and he probably makes a lot of money and he’s very distinguished looking and classy. They look good together. Vicky is a big dump so if Dad doesn’t love her anymore Mom must look pretty darn good.
I didn’t understand something you wrote at the end of 126. Making stuff up? What do you mean by that? Do you think Tony and Zach and Shelby are made up? Or me? What about Famous Dave and that STella chick? It’s hard to know for sure anymore because of so many things you hear about the internet. Nick always tell me to be careful and now you’ve made me wonder again.
Is your daughter getting married this weekend? You are probably very busy with last minute things. I bet she’s so excited. We have a video of our wedding and I watch it all the time.
Gotta go to work. Love ya. (You’re special to me too, and even if you’re not for real, you’ve helped me in more ways than you will ever know!)
November 12, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Hi Amy,
First and foremost let me explain about the expression I used “You can’t make this stuff up”. You have never heard it before?
Apparently not. The first time I heard it was it a television commercial . I did a google search on the phrase this is what I found:
books:
You can’t make this stuff up.(ODD ANGRY SHOT): An article from: Guns Magazine by John Connor (Digital – Jul 14, 2006)
Churchgoers’ Chuckles: True Tales – You Can’t Make This Stuff Up! (Churchgoers’ Chuckles) by Margaret G. Bigger and Loyd Dillon (Paperback – Sep 30, 2005)
You can’t make this stuff up; ‘Bronco’ coasts to re-election as Calgary mayor.(Focus): An article from: Winnipeg Free Press by Gale Reference Team
and the rest…
Web results 1-9 of 197,000
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The future looks … odd: we’ve got a handle on what will happen this season, and, man, you can’t make up some of this stuff–well, actually, yes you can.(2006
Flickr: You can’t make this stuff up!
3 of 3 posts. About You can’t make this stuff up! There are some things you see, and just must document for the betterment of humanity. There are others that you must document …
I just used the phrase to emphasize how incredible our experiences have been ,especially yours. In no way did I mean to imply that it wasn’t real.
November 12, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Matthew 18:2-4 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)
Public Domain
2And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
3And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
4Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
November 12, 2007 at 2:35 pm
When my father died, it was the most traumatic experience of my life.
I was 37 years old, with a wife and four kids ,an adult, and yet this one event
knocked me to my knees.
I said it before,this was the start of my pilgrimage,my walk with God.
I mentioned the movie “Field of Dreams”.
I also mentioned that I saw it about 30 times alone after everyone went to bed. And I would break down every time without fail.
I came to believe in the possibility of the improbable. That is why I have faith and that faith has allowed me to help you and Tony and Zach .
Go back to post 56, the article “How to turn grief into joy” thatI posted for Angel. That article said what I came to believe independently by my own experience.
Now I apply that faith and belief system to everyday life. Some people call it a positive outlook. Some call it cock-eyed optimism . I don’t know ,it seems to work for me.
If you recall, I pictured you as a little child hugging Anita ,crying while you listened to your parents fighting. I felt the hurt you related to me on your parents break-up, how it affected both you and your sister. I told you I WOULD HELP YOU GET YOUR DADDY BACK . It happened. You got your mom back too. And as far out as it seems ,there exists the possibility that they may someday get back together. It is possible all of it. It also is improbable.
That’s what I’m talking about ,the possibility of the improbable or as I like to call it”Heaven on Earth”.
November 12, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Sorry amy,
I posted a continuation of the preceding thought ,submitted it and lost it in cyberspace.
I’ll try to recap.
What I was trying to say wss that we have to become like little children again. We have to suspend our currnt way odf thinking.
We have to have faith in God, ourselves and
others.
WE HAVE TO BELIEVE IN WHAT I CALL “THE POSSIBILITY OF THE IMPROBABLE.”
That’s how I was able to help you so far.
Who would think you would get your dad back,then your mom and the possibility of them getting back together?
November 12, 2007 at 2:58 pm
You have to have that family meeting.
May I also suggest that you have a woman to woman talk with your mom? You started the dialogue and it seemed that she withdrew.
IF there is the possibility of them getting back together,you have to guide it.
Improbable? Yup.,sure is but possible.
What are her true feelings for your dad?
Why didn’t she get married again? Why did she scare off all the men she dated?
You are a woman now in every sense of the word. Does the love /hate paradox apply here?
Does your mom still carry a torch for your dad but she won’t admit it you or even to herself ?
Your Dad let down his guard with you and told you he could very easily fall in love with her again.
November 12, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I bet she could too. You have to convince them to put away their silly pride. It has done so much damage already.
We are getting very busy this week with the wedding. That is this weekend! All the arangements are made .We picked up my daughter’s wedding gown yesterday.Met with the caterers. And the teaing is starting. My sons are taking bets on whether or not I
am going to make a spectacle of myself when
1) i walk my daughter down the aisle(10-1 odds) ,giving her away at the alter(5-1 odds) or the father daughter dance(2-1)odds.
wE ARE DANCING TO “Unforgetable” the duet version -Nat King Cole & Natalie Cole.
Got to get ready for work.
Have a great day!
Love
Uncle Jake
November 12, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Jake, I will bet my money that you cry (1) when you first see her in her gown (2) when you walk her down the aisle & (3) when you dance with her.
I know you will. My Dad cried when he saw me. He kissed me on the cheek and when he looked at me he had big tears in his eyes. That made ME cry. I also cried when I first saw myself all dressed in my gown. My heart was racing. It was wonderful. I’m so happy for your daughter. Weddings always make me cry.
I am going to have a meeting with my parents. DEFINITELY. I was thinking, there’s no reason they can’t come down here and spend Christmas with us. My Mom and Gram can. My Dad might be able to if Vicky doesn’t give him a hard time. I’m going to ask them. I know Anita is coming for both holidays and is staying here until she has to go back to school in Jan. There’s no way she’s not spending Christmas with Nate. So, Dad and Mom should come and join in. What do you think? Vicky, Queen Dumpess,
, can stay home with her two hoodlums and maybe move into their old house while Dad’s here. I’m starting to like the idea of Mom and Dad getting together. Although it does make me angry they couldn’t get their act toether before. I don’t even know if it’s possible anyway. My Mom. She’s the one. Maybe I can have a heart to heart with her. She DID say Dad looked good and she commented that he always smells so good. You’d think Dad would say that about her, but my Dad always wears cologne. I always liked to smell him, too. How queer the way I’m talking. I need a cup of coffee. I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept waking up fantasizing about my parents and wishing everything was a dream except my marriage to my wonderful Nick. You know, I think Nick is getting handsomer. I really do. I don’t what it is, but he keeps looking better and better. He’s got the prettiest brown eyes. They’re so dark, and his eyelashed are dark black and real full. I forgot to mention, he was approached to apply to be a Federal Marshall. I’m not sure what all that means, but he’s interested and is going to check it out.
And no, I’m in the back woods. I never heard all the making this stuff up slogans. If I didn, I never paid any attention to any of them.
I like it when you quote scriptures. I love God’s Word and I’m so glad he’s been so good to me and giving me the desires of my heart. I don’t ever want to let him down. I appreciate everything I have. I think you’re never poor if you’re satisfied with what you have. God smiled down on me and I couldn’t be happier. He’s a good God.
And you’re a good man. I wish you could be cloned. You are too wonderful to only have one of you in the world.
November 13, 2007 at 3:27 am
Reconciliation After Divorce
Reconciliation after divorce might seem unthinkable to many who’ve survived an ugly divorce. But it is not an uncommon phenomenon.
You were married in the first place for a reason, after all, and sometimes divorced couples realize that they acted in haste by separating and divorcing.
Any number of reasons may draw them back together again from simple love and attachment to finances or children.
Whatever the reasons for reconciling after divorce, this is not a process to enter into lightly. Marriage is serious business as is divorce. If you’ve done both already and are now rethinking the divorce and are looking at reconciliation, clearly there’s some major ambivalence going on here. Flip-flopping around like this isn’t only bad for you but will affect the way friends and family see you and how much they trust your relationship. Don’t let their opinions stop you but understand your flip-flopping has consequences. This is especially true if children are involved who will be hugely jerked around if their parents keep splitting up (to the point of divorcing) and reconciling.
Even if you desperately miss your ex-spouse, do NOT just jump back in. Take a few deep breaths and think. This would be a great time to get some counseling, both individually for each of you and eventually couples counseling. What brought you together in the first place, what caused you to divorce, and what is making you consider reconciliation? Are you returning out of fear of loneliness or abandonment or our of pressure from your ex or others? These aren’t worthy reasons to recommit to a relationship that ended in divorce.
http://relationship.lifetips.com/cat/64848/relationships-after-divorce/index.html
November 13, 2007 at 3:39 am
There are many big and small “steps” on the road to marriage reconciliation
-Three steps that are key :
STEP ONE:
Become Reconciled to God
God wants to bring us closer to Him so that we will become more like Christ. So, the first step of the reconciliation process is to confess and admit our faults, see the forgiveness in God and our spouse and ask God to change us. We cannot change anyone but ourselves. If someone wants change in their marriage, it has to start with him or her.
STEP TWO:
Become Reconciled to Yourself
Christians who are not reconciled to themselves are full of fear, insecurity and doubt about God’s love and deliverance. Knowing the love and forgiveness God has for us also empowers us to risk loving and forgiving those who may have hurt or rejected us.
STEP THREE:
Become Reconciled to Others Including your Spouse
Once we become reconciled to God and ourselves, then we can truly become reconciled to our spouses. This requires that we know and understand the meaning and difference of tender love, tough love and sacrificial love, and the way to demonstrate those types of love in relating to our spouse.
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200003/20000302_reconciliation.html
November 13, 2007 at 3:51 am
lovesamerica:
Hi Amy-
POSTS 119 & 134 JUST SHOWED UP AFTER BEING LOST IN CYBERSPACE. GO FIGURE!
I posted two posts about reconciliation after divorce. I t is more common than I thought.
Love
Jake
November 15, 2007 at 6:21 pm
lovesamerica:
Amy, is everything ok?
Jake
November 15, 2007 at 7:24 pm
I CAME ACROSS THIS:
Is Comet Holmes the harbinger of the Antichrist?
Quote
The ’sudden star’ that has recently appeared in our night skies is the heavenly body known as Comet Holmes.
The last and perhaps the most famous of the sudden stars is the Star of Bethlehem that heralded the arrival of Jesus Christ at his birth. The star has been made famous by the story of the three Magi from the Middle East that came to worship the new king by following that star.
Is this comet the precursor to the darkest times our world has ever known?
Is it the herald of the coming evil one that is to be known as the Antichrist?
If so, the next major prophetic event for our time will be the ‘emergence’ of this Antichrist that will attempt to duplicate many of the miracles that Jesus did to convince an unbelieving world that he is in fact, Jesus returned.
I maintain that this delusion put upon the world is the great deception promised by God. He said He would send this delusion to the world in the end times to fool the very elect. Why? Because of their unbelief in the Word of God sent the first time. The world had their chance to accept Jesus as the Son of God. The ones who refused and continue to refuse to accept that fact will be sent a strong delusion so that they accept the Antichrist and therefore be damned for all eternity.
The strong delusion will be the antichrist!
The apostates will be those who follow the antichrist!
The false teachers will be teaching that the antichrist is Jesus returned!
Heads up people!
For more:
[link to anewknighthood.blogspot.com]
November 15, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Here’s the source:
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message462705/pg1
November 16, 2007 at 2:06 am
Hi Jake. Yes, everything is okay. I guess. Sometimes if Nick is home in the morning I don’t get a chance to get on the computer. If he’s leaving the same time I am we’re scurrying around,and if I’m working and he’s not, if he’s awake I sometimes bring my coffee in the bedroom and sit and talk with him until I have to get ready.
Father Paul performed our wedding ceremony. I think he would’ve been crushed if Nick would’ve been married by anyone else. They’re very close. He even danced with me and he told me I was the most beautiful bride he ever married. I told him I bet you tell all the girls that, and he said, I really don’t. I mean it. He told me he thought Nick was as lucky as I was. He also whispered in my ear that I made the right choice! He said he knew I stole Nick’s heart and he was glad we found each other.
You posted so much info about the church and divorce. Thank you. My parents. What a crazy dilemma that’s going to be. I talked with Gram, and she told me Mom and Dad are “meeting”. I said what does that mean, she said, I don’t know what it means but they’re seeing each other. Sooooo, I talked with Dad and asked him about it. He said they’re seeing each other a little, but they’re discussing Anita. I said, how much can you discuss that? I said, Dad, do you think I’m stupid…and he says, No, I don’t think you’re stupid, I think you’re nosey!!! I said, DAD, and he just laughed, told me was busy getting some financial reports together and he’d talk later. That was yesterday and I haven’t talked to him since. Sooooooo, I talked with Mom after work. I asked her what was going on. She said nothing is going on. I told her what Gram told me and she said Gram didn’t know what she was talking about. I told her to level with me. She pauses, and says, Amy, you’re Dad is a good man and I never should’ve said all those horrible things about him to you and Anita. She said she was very bitter about the divorce and was insulted that he left her for another woman. I said, well, that other woman is HIS WIFE. She didn’t even get mad at me when I said that. She said, yes, she is, FOR NOW. Then she wouldn’t talk about it any more. So I don’t know what’s going on but I know something is. Nick tells me to quit asking them questions, to drop it, but that’s hard to do. I’m hoping to talk to Dad tomorrow. I can get more out of him than my Mom.
Anita is flying in Sunday. I’ll be glad to see her. Although I don’t know how much I’ll see her. She’s so excited she can’t wait to see Nate. He’s picking her up at the airport and after they spend some time alone he’s going to bring her here. She’ll be so giddy and goofy, she makes me laugh. Everytime I talk to her all she says is I love him so much, I love him so much. It’s not infatuation. I think she really means it.
And you. You’re giving your beautiful daughter away this weekend. I’ll be thinking about you AND her. Your family sounds like the perfect family. You’re the perfect DAd. I wish I would’ve grown up in a family like you and Carmen had. I wish your daughter all the best. She probably picked out someone just like her Daddy.
Nick will be home in a couple of hours. He’s working a little later tonight. What do you think about him being asked to apply to be a Federal Marshall. He’s reading over lots of information, but I think he’s going to do it.
God bless you…love ya.
November 16, 2007 at 3:56 am
lovesamerica:
Hey Mrs. Greeneyes!
You had me worried! But that’s ok,newly-wed!
you wrote:
if he’s awake I sometimes bring my coffee in the bedroom and sit and talk with him until I have to get ready.
Look kiddo, once upon a time ,I was young myself ya know. And we did the same thing…
and I ended up being late for work more often than not–wink, wink…blush!
November 16, 2007 at 3:59 am
I think it’s a great idea that Nick is interested in becoming a U.S. Marshall.
It’s a great career move.
Here is an interesting link for you to learn more about the Service.
http://www.usmarshals.gov/history/index.html
November 16, 2007 at 4:13 am
If you click on the blue hyperlink print throughout the site, you will get to know the entire history of the Marshall service from it’s inception in George Washington’s administration.
November 16, 2007 at 4:26 am
Now for your Mom and your Dad…..
Didn’t I see that comming or what!
You need to talk to Fr. Paul and get his input and advice if you want to get them back together for good.
You know my feelings on divorce. I feel your mom and dad are still married.
Vicky may be your dad’s “wife” legally but by Church Canon law that may be invalid.
Print off posts 139 & 140 and discuss it at your family meeting. Don’t be afraid to tell your parents how you really feel,how much you love them both. Same thing for Anita.
Tell them that everybody makes mistakes in life but sometimes we gat the chance to correct those mistakes if we are lucky.This is one of those times.Strike while the iron
is hot. They are falling for each other again.Your wishes are coming true ,Amy, as crazy as it sounds.
But they have to do things right from here on in. No selfishness,no silly pride.
They love you and just as much as you want to make them proud,they want to make amends for breaking up the family.
November 16, 2007 at 4:34 am
I just posted my thoughts about your mom and dadand …you guesed it …CYBERSPACE.
Quay will fix it when he sees it tomorrow.
Basically I wrote that they have a second chance to put the family back together. They are now mature adults and they both realize what they threw away because of selfishness.
November 16, 2007 at 4:39 am
Talk to Fr. Paul about it. Let your mom and dad read post 139 & 140 Print OFF A COPY.
If they are going to try to get back together,let them get off on the right foot.
I’m sure Fr. Paul would be willing to counsel them .
Amy ,you are so close to getting both your mom and dad back together. Who would have thought it was possible?!!!
November 16, 2007 at 5:24 am
And Anita….
Just tell her that all she has to do is to look at the way Nate treats her to see that he really loves her …even if he is not yet ready to commit.
She has to stick it out and finish college. That doesn’t mean to put her relationship on hold. Both anita and Nate have to accomplish what they wanted to do . Nate wanted to get a house before he got married.
Anita has to finish up her degree.
Tell her that with the current mortgage crisis and real estate prices dropping, in 6-8 months Nate will be able to buy that dream house ,she will finish college and then they both can start planning their life together.
November 16, 2007 at 5:39 am
Got to go now. I’ll be very busy the next couple of days so I don’t know how much I ‘ll be on here.
Perfect father? Perfect family? We do the best we can. We have our ups and downs just like everybody else. Have faith.
Your mom and dad really love you and Anita. I think theyeven love each other.Now they have the chance to rediscover themselves and that love they both thought was dead and gone. Help them. Pray for them.
Put it in God’s hands but keep doing what you’re doing because you are doing something right!
Love,
Jake
November 16, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Hi Jake. Thanks for the linkto the US Marshall page. It was an interesting read. From what I understand, they sent a recruiter down to talk with Nick and another guy. Ardie told me that Raz told her the recruiter had a whole file on Nick, his records from college (he has a degree in criminal justice), his military records and spoke with his Captain. Raz said the recruiter really wants Nick and when Nick asked him why the recruiter told him because he has an impeccable and impressive college and military record and added that they need “ballsy” guys. Nick never told me that. He just said the recruiter was really selling him the idea and told him he fit the bill. I don’t know if we’d have to re-locate. Nick said he’s got a lot of questions to ask. It’s kind of neat. I’m proud of him.
I talked with my Dad this morning and he said Vicky’s sons are going to their father’s family for Tpgiving dinner. He said Vicky was flying to her sister’s. He told Vicky he couldn’t go because it’s the end of the company’s fiscal year and he’s got tons of things to do. So, I said I felt bad that he would be alone on T-giving and if possible, why don’t you come here. Then he said he would think about it but that MOM invited him to her and Grams…..so…….I said, why don’t you two fly down here??? And he said he was talking with Mom later tonight and he’ll ask her what she thinks. I said, Dad, I don’t mean to be nosey, but I have to ask, please be honest, are you and Mom romantically involved? He says, I’ve always carried a torch for you Mother. We’re not romantically involved. We’re just enjoying catching up on each other’s lives now that the hostility is gone. I said, do you think Mom loves you? And he heaves this big sigh, and he says, I think she does!! Then he said there’s lots of complications right now but to just leave them alone and see what happens!
JAKE!! I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!! Talk about miracles????? This would be the biggest one ever!
God bless you, Uncle Jake and your daughter. I’ll be thinking of you. I’ll check on here but I’ll understand if you’re too busy to write. You have a wonderful family and you’ve cherished and protected them…just what I’m going to do.
Love ya
November 16, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Hi Amy:
I took off today to run errands . WOW!!!
What did I tell you?!!! Mommy loves daddy and daddy loves mommy!
What is it with you around this time of year? You seem to run into special holiday miracles,don’t you? Thank your guardian angel for looking out for you.
You ‘ve got to admit ,this is really out of the ordinary. Keep praying sweetheart and all your wishes will come true!
Love ya,
Uncle Jake
November 16, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Amy:
Back again.
In post 24 I wrote:
Funny thing about true love. It doesn’t die sespite the storms ,trials and tribulations of life. It may die down to a flicker,but with encouragement it will become a roaring fre in intensity as it is now for them.
Funny ,you almost have to lose something to realize how really important it is .Then you vow to never to lose it again, You guard it jealouslyfor the rest of your life. That’s how Tony feels now. Bethany too.
Hey ,I think it applies to your mom & dad too! How about that!
November 18, 2007 at 12:43 am
Hi Jake. Today’s the big day…How are you doing? I don’t know if your daughter had an evening wedding or not, but I want you to know I’m thinking of you and her. Wedding’s are such a wonderful time for families.
I know what you mean about this time of year and miracles. I’ve been fortunate. Mom and Dad have decided not to come here this year. It would be expensive for my Mom and Gram (even tho I think my Dad would help out if they wanted but Mom wouldn’t ask) and my Aunt would be alone. Maybe next year we can plan something. That was a spur of the moment idea anyway, and after talking with Anita, she doesn’t want them to come down anyway. I think she’s afraid they’d butt in to her and Nate.
I’ve been feeling bad about Vicky. She’s going to get hurt, I think. I don’t like all this love, don’t love, love, stuff. It’s just weird to me. I can’t even imagine not loving Nick anymore and I shudder to think he could stop loving me. I don’t ever want that to happen. It’s awful. When I think about it I need him to reasscure me. This afternoon I kept telling him I needed hugged and kissed. He obliged everytime I went to him. I finally asked him if it bugged him the way I need him to do that and he said Not at all, I’ll hug and kiss you anytime you want. I just don’t want to get on his nerves. I’m a big baby and he knows it.
Nick just pulled in the driveway. He went a got a pizza so we’re watching a movie and having pizza and wine…and hopefully a love session!!!! I need him to love me tonight.
I’m glad you the way you are. The things you say….” guard it jealously for the rest of your life ” I hope NIck always loves me.
November 19, 2007 at 9:17 am
lovesamerica:
Well Amy, my daughter and son-in-law are married and off to their honeymoon!
You may recall in post 137 I wrote:
And the teasing is starting. My sons are taking bets on whether or not I
am going to make a spectacle of myself when
1) i walk my daughter down the aisle(10-1 odds) ,giving her away at the alter(5-1 odds) or the father daughter dance(2-1)odds.
wE ARE DANCING TO “Unforgetable” the duet version -Nat King Cole & Natalie Cole.
Well it almost happened walking down the aisle but not for the reasons you think. You see ,I had a wardrobe malfunction . The tuxedo rental people are going to get an earfull tomorrow but that’s another story.
The tuxedo pants have waist size adjustors on each side that are tightened to adjust to your waist size.. Well ,the waist size adjuster came apart as I was walking my daughter down the aisle and it was all I could do to keep my pants up while walking ,lifting my daughter’s vail ,kissing her on the cheek and walking back to my seat! If I wasn’t careful ,it would have qualified for “America’s Funniest Home Video’s !!!
Luckily , the maitre’d loaned me his suspenders. You have to have a sense of humor I guess!
All in all it was a beautiful ceremony and a very nice affair.
I did get misty when they exchanged vows and during the father daughter dance.
After the wedding I had to drive my younger daughter back to Philly . I just got back and I’m beat.
I’m going to sign off now and get some sleep.
Love
Jake
November 19, 2007 at 11:51 pm
Hey kids! Loves, are you REALLY going to root for your dad to leave his wife and remarry your mom? I’m stunned. I know my step-daughter lobbied for DJ to leave me and go back to THE BEAST FROM THE EAST, but thank goodness he didn’t even consider it.
Speaking of DJ, he is in a diplomatic Catch 22 with his contractor status and may be deported in January. Then on the other hand, the contractors that work on the General’s plane are a lot closer to being deported and the State Dept. is finally looking into a new SOFA negotiation with Belgium. Its very complicated, but the bottom line is that DJ bought a car that he can’t get tags or insurance for and is riding around in the European winter on his bicycle. Thank goodness its only 3K from his home to his job. They may reach some kind of interim handshake agreement by mid Dec. I sure hope so cuz I’m going over from Christmas and don’t think we’re going to have much fun with no transportation.
November 20, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Jake
November 21, 2007 at 6:16 pm
You too, Jake! DJ is having turkey with a nice Air Force family. Bless them for taking him in.
November 24, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Hello everyone. I’ve been very busy with my sister and it’s been hard to find the time to touch base. I have some exciting news that I’ll let you know in a moment. I’m very thankful and grateful to God for giving me such a wonderful life. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We did. Nate’s parents invited us all over to their home. Nick was able to show up to eat but couldn’t stay for very long. Nate’s family is very warm and affectionate. They’re very religious Southern Baptists, and their faith means a lot to them. They’re Thanksgiving prayer was so awesome it brought tears to my eyes. Nate’s cute. He’s such a nice guy and he’s so nice to my sister. She is so smitten. Just the way she looks at him makes me laugh. I tease her about it when we’re alone. She tells me I’m the same way, but I know I’m not.
Mrs. DJ, you are stunned that I would like to see my parents back together?? Why?? If they can truly love each other and be happy I think that would be awesome. I would love to see my parents be like Nate’s parents. When Nick and I have a child I would love to have my parents together. It would be a wonderful example for our kids. I want a strong family with traditional values and I hope that as long as I’m nice and respectful to Nick, and if he stays the same way, and if we don’t attack each other verbally, and if we work through our problems and not become selfish and demand our own way, we can show our kids that love really does last and that it’s important to give stability and structure to your kids. It’s sounds like I’m rambling, but I know what I mean. And….
My dear Jake, it looks like Nick and I may be having a family sooner than we planned. He doesn’t know it yet because Anita is here and I want to tell him on a perfect night when we’re alone. I took an EPT test Friday, and it was positive. I took another one this morning just to be sure, and it was POSITIVE AGAIN. I hope I can contain myself because I’m dieing to tell him but I think maybe I should go to the Dr. first. I was thinking about telling him Christmas Eve but I don’t think I can wait that long. Actually, I know I can’t. Anita knows, but she’s the only one and she’s sworn to secrecy. I had to tell someone and she gave me her word she wouldn’t say a think until I give her the okay. I’m so happy and excited I could bust. A little Nick or Nicky…me..having a baby. WOW. God is giving me so many miracles I’m overwelmed.
Hope you all have a great weekend..love ya, Jake.
November 24, 2007 at 2:11 pm
lovesamerica!!
AMY!!!!!!!!!!
This is how I see you telling Nick about the happy news -
something like this….:
George:
Mary Hatch, why in the world did you ever marry a guy like me?
Mary:
To keep from being an old maid.
George:
You could have married Sam Wainwright or anybody else in town.
Mary:
I didn’t want to marry anybody else in town. I want my baby to look like you.
George:
You didn’t even have a honeymoon. I promised you…Your what?
Mary:
My baby.
George:
You mean…Mary, you on the nest?
Mary:
George Bailey lassoes stork.
George:
Lassoes the stork! You mean you…What is it, a boy or a girl?
Mary:
[nodding] Uh-huh.
You better start taking good care of yourself,missy.
No lifting,no horsing around. Please be careful!
I’m so happy for you and Nick!
Love
Uncle Jake
November 25, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Thank you so much, Jake! I still haven’t told Nick. I almost did last night because when he came home he was hugging me and he said, “what’s up with you…you look radiant”. Anita and Nate were downstairs watching TV and I just didn’t want anyone there when I told him. I’ve decided I’m going to make an appt. and go to the Dr. and THEN I’ll tell him. I guess I just can’t believe it myself.
We had a little crisis here, anyway and the mood wasn’t condusive to telling him. Anita is being a real pistol. She got into a huge fight with my Mom on the phone and then Dad called about 20 min. afterward. She’s leaving today to fly baack, but yesterday while she was talking with my Mom she said she wasn’t going. All Hell broke loose. Nate was working then. Anita’s bawling her eyes out saying she hates school and she loves Nate and she’s staying here and on and on. I got sick and threw up from all the shouting and I told her if I lose this baby because of all this stuff I’d never be the same. When Dad called he told me he never should’ve let Anita fly down here (like he could’ve stopped it, HA!) Anyway, he ended up talking to Nate and Nate told Anita later on that if she didn’t finish school he’d be very upset with her. He said she was being foolish and it turned him off a lot. He also told her he was disappointed that she could take advantage of her Dad by letting him pay for 3-1/2 years of college and not finish. He said it might change things between them if she didn’t finish because there would always be bad feelings in the family towards him because she quit because of him. That straightened her our but after Nate dropped her off last night she spent most of the night cryng and sobbing to me. I’ve been up most of the night. Nick didn’t get home until almost 3:00am and we were still up. He was a little irritated because he wanted me to come to bed and when Anita went to the bathroom he told me she was a nut. I don’t think he meant it, he was just irritated because he told me he was tired and he sleeps better when I’m in there with him. Yeah right…I laughed when he said that and then he laughed, kissed me, and went to bed. I’ve slept about two hours. Her plane leaves at 2:00 and I’ll probably get some sleep after she’s gone. Nate’s taking her to the airport. I’m glad because I think she’d drive me nuts because I know she’ll be bawling. I never acted like that. I really never did. She’s kind of a baby.
Anyway, I’m going to go make myself a nice cup of warm green tea and now that I’m so wide awake I’m going to think about baby names.
Love ya.
November 25, 2007 at 12:19 pm
OH, not to confuse you, but Nick stopped in for dinner last night while Nate and Anita were downstairs. He worked a double and was gone until early this morning. Sometimes his job gets to me a little. His hours are never regular and there’s been working in a lot of bad areas. I don’t like it.
Have a great day.
November 25, 2007 at 10:56 pm
lovesamerica:
Amy:
Hi Mrs. Greeneyes!
I have an observation for you after I read your posts 164& 165.
You,my dear are a “Woman”. Your sister Anita is an immature little girl who is prone to throwing temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way.
Why would a man like Nate want a child bride when he can go out and find a mature woman?
His comment is very telling .
He wrote:
Nate told Anita later on that if she didn’t finish school he’d be very upset with her. He said she was being foolish and it turned him off a lot. He also told her he was disappointed that she could take advantage of her Dad by letting him pay for 3-1/2 years of college and not finish. He said it might change things between them if she didn’t finish because there would always be bad feelings in the family towards him because she quit because of him.
If she thinks so little of your dad’s sacrifice to pay for her education,how does that bode for the sacrifices she and Nate will have to make to have a happy marriage?
November 25, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Somebody better straighten her out fast . This highschool stuff wears thin fast as you well know.
As for you, NOBODY should interfere in your marriage. If you were so aggrivated that you became ill, tell your sister that she shouldn’t come back for a visit until she grows up. The drama is going to interfere with your marriage.
YOU are a newly wed! AND A MOTHER TO BE!!!
Nick, you and your baby come first!!!!!
Hope I didn’t talk out of turn. I have to cut it short tonight . I have to take my daughter back to Philly after dinner and it’s on the table.
Love ya,
Uncle Jake
November 26, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Thanks Jake. No, you didn’t talk out of turn. You’re straight up and that’s what I love about you.
I told Nick about the baby. He’s so happy. He got all emotional. After Anita left he brought in a bottle of wine and two glasses to celebrate and I told him I didn’t want any wine. He said, “why?…I don’t have to work tomorrow so let’s relax.” I said I don’t think I should. He said why. I said, it’s not good to drink under certain circumstances. He says, what are you talking about? And I just smiled at him and said, Nick, you’re going to be a Daddy. He flipped. He looked so shocked and I started laughing and crying and hugging. We started making phone calls after that. I made an appt. to go to the Dr. but I can’t get in until next Thursday. We’re really happy.
Nick also told me he saw Nate and told him Anita was crazy about him. I guess Nate rolled his eyes and said, no, she’s just crazy. I asked Nick what he meant by that, and he said he got into a squad car and left and he didn’t talk to him anymore. So, Anita thinks they’re in love and I’m not sure what Nate thinks. He better not be messing around and hurt her when he knows how she feels about him. Men can be cruel jerks.
I have to go…I’ll write more later.
November 26, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Jake…check out this website.
http://www.letssaythanks.com
It’s pretty awesome.
November 27, 2007 at 6:43 am
Amy:
you wrote:
Nick also told me he saw Nate and told him Anita was crazy about him. I guess Nate rolled his eyes and said, no, she’s just crazy. I asked Nick what he meant by that, and he said he got into a squad car and left and he didn’t talk to him anymore. So, Anita thinks they’re in love and I’m not sure what Nate thinks. He better not be messing around and hurt her when he knows how she feels about him. Men can be cruel jerks.
The way Anita has been acting,how can you expect Nate not to have this reaction?
He must be pretty disappointed . He invited you all to meet his family. Usually ,a guy does that when he is serious about a girl. Look back at how he has been treating Anita these past months. He has been respectful and very attentive with her.
Nate has alot of respect for Nick, his prospective brother-in-law. Nate has alot of respect for your dad.
But the thing that is scary here is that NOBODY can make Anita understand that she is acting like a petulant child. So Nate, of all people, has to read her the riot act! Nate, the object of her affections. Nate, the man she is trying to impress. Now he thinks she’s nuts!
I’m afraid this is how he sees her:
Demanding children – children who have entitlement issues – seem to be common these days. Like the obnoxious child, Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, who was constantly demanding that her father get her whatever she wanted (”I want an Umpa Lumpa! Get it for me NOW!”), we hear many children today uttering the fairly constant refrain, “I want ..! Give it to me! Get it for me, now!” They seem to be masters at instilling guilt in their parents through phrases such as “It’s not fair!” or “You don’t love me!” or “What about what I want?”, or by getting angry, shutting down or crying piteously.
Sound familiar? You have to make her understand that she is scaring Nate away by acting this way. He wants a woman, not a 20 something teenager.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-l8Vc9Pc4w&feature=related
love
Jake
PS -POST 169 -awesome!
November 27, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Hi Jake. I’m afraid you’re right about Nate sees my sister.
Nick didn’t have to work today, either, but he stopped down at the station this morning and saw Nate. Nick called me a little bit ago and said Nate wants to stop over and talk to me. I asked Nick what about, and Nick said Nate didn’t say too much to him, but he DID say that he “cared” about Anita but he wasn’t in love with her. He told Nick that he NEVER told Anita he loved her. He told Nick he thinks a lot of Nick and I and he doesn’t want me to get mad at him because he wants to play the field. He told Nick he thought Anita would be more like me??? He said she comes on too strong and it turns him off. Well, I ask, why did he go up there to see her? Why does he call her all the time? Why did he send her flowers? Why did he take her out just about every night while she was here. They were downstairs making out because I walked in on them a few times. He was hugging her and holding her hand at Thanksgiving. What’s up with all that? I talked to Anita last night and she said they talk everyday on the phone. I guess Nate is going to be “nice” guy and break the news to her after the holidays. That’s crap. She’s flying down here over Christmas and staying through January. Nick said he “likes” her, he’s just not “in love” with her.
I don’t know what to think. Part of me understands, but part of me wants to slap him, too.
I have to go. I’ll write more later.
Thanks for your insight and advice. You’re always right about everything.
November 28, 2007 at 3:02 am
lovesamerica:
Amy-
This situation is very complicated so you are going to have to stay with me on this.
I have been thinking about this all day and it seems to me that there are several parts to this puzzling relationship.
Let’s start with Nate. How old is he 22-23?
He’s young,good looking,good job, likes to be in control.
Comes from a structured ,good family,good christian home.Looking for a good girl to settle down with,maybe not right away , in a few years. Likes to be the center of female attention but doesn’t want to be fenced in. Admits to wanting to “play the field” but this may be an escape hatch should things be moving faster than he is comfortable with,
November 28, 2007 at 3:13 am
you wrote:
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We did. Nate’s parents invited us all over to their home. Nick was able to show up to eat but couldn’t stay for very long. Nate’s family is very warm and affectionate. They’re very religious Southern Baptists, and their faith means a lot to them. They’re Thanksgiving prayer was so awesome it brought tears to my eyes. Nate’s cute. He’s such a nice guy and he’s so nice to my sister. She is so smitten. Just the way she looks at him makes me laugh. I tease her about it when we’re alone. She tells me I’m the same way, but I know I’m not.
I wrote:
He invited you all to meet his family. Usually ,a guy does that when he is serious about a girl. Look back at how he has been treating Anita these past months. He has been respectful and very attentive with her.
Nate has alot of respect for Nick, his prospective brother-in-law. Nate has alot of respect for your dad.
November 28, 2007 at 3:32 am
Part 2-Anita-
you wrote:
Anita. She is in hot pursuit to say the least. And Nate. He’s so darn cute and such a flirt. He even flirts with me. In a cute way. He’s not hitting on me, he’s just got a very good personality and he’s loveable. He knows girls like him. He flew up to see my sister before the wedding and she hasn’t been the same since. He’s a big guy, he works out with Nick. And he’s got a big smile. Likes to joke around. I don’t see him getting married any time soon. I don’t dare say that to Anita because she has her claws out. They talk everyday on the phone and Nate tells me he really likes my sister, too. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.
Anita. She is in hot pursuit to say the least.
I wrote:
Regarding Anita- give her a couple of pointers regarding Nate. Show her you are on her side.
She has to cool it and let him take the lead or she will either scare him off or give him the impression that she’s in the bag and he doesn’t have to work at the relationship.
You once said “Why does he even think he has me? I’m not anybody’s untill I say I am.”
Men love “the chase”. She should give Nate something to chase after. When men are chased ,THEY RUN! Tell this to your sister.
And tell her to finish school and make your father happy already! He is probably saddled with debt with her tuition and not even telling you.
November 28, 2007 at 3:39 am
Nate reading Anita the riot act about quitting school:
Nate told Anita later on that if she didn’t finish school he’d be very upset with her. He said she was being foolish and it turned him off a lot. He also told her he was disappointed that she could take advantage of her Dad by letting him pay for 3-1/2 years of college and not finish. He said it might change things between them if she didn’t finish because there would always be bad feelings in the family towards him because she quit because of him.
He sounds like there is something “between them” doesn’t he? Bad feelings in the family towards him implies to me that he sees himself as part of the family in the future.
November 28, 2007 at 3:53 am
Nate is going to see alot of Anita over the Christmas holiday if she comes down for a visit.
you related Nick’s conversation:
Nate didn’t say too much to him, but he DID say that he “cared” about Anita but he wasn’t in love with her. He told Nick that he NEVER told Anita he loved her. He told Nick he thinks a lot of Nick and I and he doesn’t want me to get mad at him because he wants to play the field. He told Nick he thought Anita would be more like me??? He said she comes on too strong and it turns him off.
November 28, 2007 at 4:03 am
Amy, in previous posts you related to us that both your Mom and Anita would poke fun at you in the past for being the way you were.
You indicated that they were the pretty ones. They were the popular ones. They were the ones who went out on dates.
Now ,the tables have turned. You are the prize. You married Prince Charming. You are a mommy to be. You have it all.
Now both of them are playing catch-up, like it’s a contest. Is that why Anita has pulled out all the stops in her persuit of Nate? Is she jealous of what you have with Nick? Does she feel that if even you can have that,it would be a cinch for her?
I also remember your mom making comments about Mike and then similar comments about Nick. They both seem to have gone 180 degrees in the opposite direction both realizing that YOU are the prize and their way of doing things was all wrong.
November 28, 2007 at 4:13 am
I personally feel that your mom and Anita were all messed up. You showed them the error of their ways by example and that pointed them both in the right direction.
I don’t know how this will turn out. I do know that if Anita keeps doing what she is doing ,Nate will be long gone in no time at all.
“You love who you love” as you said regarding Mike. You felt towards Mike the same way Nate feels towards Anita. The difference here is there is no definitive other love interest on the scene now. Mike finished second best to Nick. Anita has no competition (yet).
November 28, 2007 at 4:25 am
The race is not over yet. Anita is still in the running …but only if she wises up.She has to have a heart to heart with Nate . This will be necessary to save the relationship.
I am afraid that she will fall as badly as Mike did if Nate tells her it’s over. They have to find some common ground in their relationship. If it means dating others,so be it.
If she gets dumped or if she believes she is being dumped ,she will become hardened and bitter. She won’t be able to just walk away.
I hope this helps,
Jake
November 28, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Oh, and before I forget, she is not a nut.
She is just a kid in love and I wouldn’t want to see her get hurt. She has gone through much of the same hurtful situations you went through growing up.
Now is the time to get really close to her.
Guide her. Help her.Be open with her.
She is your sister,the only one you have in this life. Solidify that bond. Cherish it.
Love
Jake
November 28, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Jake, you are so good. I’m not able to write much now but I want you to know all of your advice and insight are so helpful.
I haven’t talked with Nate yet but I did talk to my sister last night. I didn’t tell her anything that Nate said, because it’s not the right time. Anita told me she was so much in love with Nate and she wants to be with him and marry him and all that. My heart was aching listening to her. I told her she should slow down a little bit and she said when you’re in love you’re in love. I find myself getting angry with Nate for not loving her back. Now I understand how Gina especially and all of Mike’s family felt about me. I really love my sister and she’s such a good person. I think she would be a good wife, I really do. I feel so bad for her.
You say the nicest things to me. When you said my Mom and sister wanted to be like me I was so touched. I’ve been intimidated by their beauty and how men just flocked to them for years, and to have you say that made my day. Nick told me that Nate told him all the guys at the station envy him (Nick). Nate said if he would’ve met me first Nick wouldn’t have stood a chance. (Not true…Nick is the one and ONLY one for me. I still remember the first time I saw him and the chemistry I felt. I still watch him sometimes when he’s sleeping and I just get overwelmed with how I feel about him. Truth is, I would’ve left ANYBODY for Nick. Nice compliment Nate, but Nick’s just it for me!)
I have to go. I’ll write more later because I have more to say, just no time.
Love you, and Thank You. I’m glad all this advice is free!
November 29, 2007 at 2:51 am
Hi Jake. I’m feeling very sad. Dad and Vicky have decided to separate. I’m no fan of Vicky’s, but I feel bad. Mom and Dad are seeing each other. He told Vicky he still had feelings for her and she couldn’t handle it. When I talked to my Dad about it, he told me he & Mom really enjoy being together. I don’t know, it kinda rubs me the wrong way. All those years of listening to them fight and thinking they hated each other, feeling like crap, just to have them figure it out now. I thought I’d be happy about it, but I just feel like crying. Nick will be home around 11:00 or 12:00 so I’m alone and probably dwelling on stupid things…like Mom and Dad and Nate and Anita, and here I have this little life inside of me that I just want to protect and cherish and make sure it never will hurt like I did growing up. I’m feeling so sad and I wish Nick was here. I don’t want to keep going on so I’m going to say good night. Tomorrow’s a new day. Things always work out. Even the sad things get better eventually, don’t they.
I think I love you because you’re consistent. You’re always the same…always the devoted husband and father and friend.
November 29, 2007 at 6:33 am
lovesamerica:
Amy- don’t be sad. Look ,your dad and Vicky are adults. They were having problems for a long time. They decided to separate. They made their choices . It has nothing to do with you.
Your dad should never have taken up with Vicky in the first place . Vicky was available and male ego being what it is, she was able to distract him from his problems at home. She had a failed marriage an alcoholic ex who beat her and 2 kids of her own. Getting together was convenient for them and temporarily solved both their problems. They were together for 15 years or so. Their marriage wasn’t built on a solid foundation because your dad couldn’t guiltlessly walk away from his responsibilities-your mom,you and Anita.
He never should have left a wife and 2 little girls. It finally caught up with him and he found his heart’s desire.
He will take care of Vicky.
November 29, 2007 at 6:41 am
She is better off than she was with her alcoholic ex. At least she will have a roof over her head.
Your mom,well she loves your dad. It took your wedding to drive that home. Let’s see
how she likes being a loving wife ,mother and grandma! She has been miserable too long.
Don’t be sad. Your parents have finally grown up.
You are very special. I know it. Nick knows it. Your parents know it. Life is full of surprises.
Love
Jake
November 29, 2007 at 6:55 am
I don’t understand how you can have such sympathy for Vicky when you went through much the same thing with Mike.
I think the situations are comparable. Your dad never really loved Vicky. You never really loved Mike. Why stay with someone you don’t really love?
When you love someone and you have two beautiful little girls,as a man, I don’t understand how you can expect to have that kind of relationship with someone else.
You can’t. Your mom was your dad’s first true love. That never died. The proof is that they are getting back together.
I posted about reconciliation counseling.
I strongly advise that they look into it
and get off on the right foot. Talk to fr. Paul. Let him help you help them.
AND BE HAPPY!
Jake
November 30, 2007 at 1:40 am
Jake, I feel bad for Vicky because I know she must be hurt. I would be. Mom and Dad have hurt each other, and in the process there have hurt a lot of other people because of their foolishness. You don’t understand how a man can leave his wife and two little girls? Well, neither can I. But my Mom was no picnic. To be blunt, she was a bitch to my father. She’s a bitch to me most of the time. She can be nice. She has a winning smile and a soft voice and knows how to look at you like a little pussycat, but inside she’s a roaring tiger. Maybe she and Dad a rekindled something. Well la de frickin da. After leaving all kinds of human collateral in their wake that’s real impressive. Two smart people. Two classy people. Two people that had it all couldn’t get their shit together when it counted the most and keep their family together. Most people put their kids first. Especially when they’re little. Not those two. Dad finds what he needs in the arms of another woman and Mom turns into a bitter princess. Now they’ve found each other again. They’ve realized that they really do love each other. Don’t make me puke.
You suggested a family meeting. You can bet there’s going to be one of those because I’d like to tell them both what a couple of idiots I think they are. And just who do they THINK they are????!!!! Hurting innocent people bceause they’re selfish and foolish and stupid. They didn’t love me and Anita enough to make it work back then and now they want our blessing?? They should be ashamed and embarrassed. They look like a couple of morons.
My Mom is my Dad’s first love? Last year at this time he didn’t think so. Cupid must’ve been at my wedding to get those two to retract the weapons. Either that or they’ll come back out after the novelty of a roll in the hay for old time’s sake wears off.
I’ll get over it. I’m just remembering all the fighting and screaming, hiding in my closet and under the bed with Anita, both of us crying and begging them to stop.
Now they’re going to live happily ever after. Well, good for them.
November 30, 2007 at 2:51 am
lovesamerica:
Amy-you wrote-
They didn’t love me and Anita enough to make it work back then and now they want our blessing?? They should be ashamed and embarrassed.
I would hope they are ashamed and embarassed because that would show real emotional growth on their part.
They didn’t love you and Anita enough? Selfish and immature people love their children but selfishness, immaturity and the resultant me first attitude doesn’t lend itself to putting the kids first .
I would hope that they realize that now. You have to be the judge of that. Maturity doesn’t always correlate with age. It does correlate with experience. I think your parents have the experience-and the knowlege that their actions have hurt the people they love through the years.
I
November 30, 2007 at 3:06 am
“They didn’t love me and Anita enough to make it work back then”.
Do you and Anita love them enough to help them make it work now?
Amy, you have alot of pent up hostility towards your parents …and for good cause. So does Anita.
Second chances. We’ve talked alot about that -haven’t we?
You went from total isolation from your parents to getting your dad back into your life, then your mom and now both of them together. Do you want that or would you rather have it the way it was?
Are they sincere? Do they forgive themselves and each other? Can they move forward from here together without selfishness and with a new found maturity?
November 30, 2007 at 3:34 am
You have Nick and a baby on the way. Your parents have missed out on so much. I hope they realize that. I know your dad does.
Remember this?
lovesmerica Says:
December 13, 2006 at 11:41 am
Jake, I talked with my Dad last night. HE’S FLYING IN THIS SUNDAY, DEC. 17 AND LEAVING ON THE 20TH!! I can’t believe it. I kept wiping tears off my face the whole time we were talking. It sounds weird, but it seems like everything has changed. He’s opened right up. He apologized several times for not being able to make it work with my Mom. I told him I understood because I couldn’t make it work, either. That’s why I’m here. I told him in the letter how I remembered him bringing me home surprises from work. He mentioned that and told me he’s bringing me a surprise this time, too!! When he said that, I said, Oh, Daddy, and he started to choke up. He said he thought my Mom had turned us against him and he knew the relationship between me and his wife was strained. He said we’ll talk more when he gets here. I told him I had always remembered being Daddy’s girl, and he said I have always been Daddy’s girl in his heart. That makes me cry. ….. Jake, God’s smiling down at me isn’t he? I’m so excited. This is the best Christmas ever.
You love your parents so much,don’t you?
This is a second chance for all of you.
Pray together. Ask them to reflect on what is happening.Ask them to forgive each other and go forward together with love,leaving all the bitterness and hurts in the past.
November 30, 2007 at 3:44 am
Remember this post?…
Big Jake Says:
October 14, 2006 at 7:04 am
Two themes that define Chistianity as I see it are Brokenness and Resurection.
GOD’S GIFT OF
BROKENNESS
BROKENNESS IS A TOOL OF GOD’S
God’s discipline and purifying can be painful, but God provides strength and grace to help during these times. (Hebrew chapter 13; Malachi 3:3)
God uses brokenness to rid us of jealousy, pride, greed, lust, selfishness,…
God uses brokenness to reveal our need for Him ( John 6:35 )
BROKENNESS IS A SIGN OF GOD’S LOVE
It is a sign of God’s love and activity in your life (Prov. 3:11, 12 ; Psalm 94:12)
God wants to break us of our self-reliance (Psalm 37:5-7 ; Prov. 3:5,6)
God needs to break us from our nature of pride, selfishness,… an replace these with His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,… (Galatians 5:19-23 ; Phil. 2:5-8)
God wants to prepare you for future service (Isaiah 6:1-8 ; Isaiah 49:2,3 )
God’s discipline & purifying transform us to share His glory and holiness
(2 Corinthians 3:18; 4:16-18 ; Hebrews 13:10, 11)
GOD SETS LIMITS ON TIMES OF BROKENNESS
Brokenness and discipline stops when we yield or submit to God’s will
When we finally have a sincere desire to obey and follow God’s will, it will end
God will not allow brokenness and discipline to crush us (Isaiah 43:2-4)
GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR DESERT YOU
God promises to never leave you or forsake you; do not give in to the feelings that He has somehow left you or deserted you (Hebrews 13:5 ; Deuteronomy 31:8)
Do not give in to the feelings and emotions that tell you that God has turned against you
(Hebrews 13:6 ; Lamentations 3:19-26 )
Go to Jesus and submit to Him, and He will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
GOD USES BROKENNESS TO INCREASE YOUR UNDERSTANDING
God uses it to give you more understanding of yourself (Peter- John 13:36-38)
God uses it to give you more understanding of Himself ( Job 42:1-6 )
God uses it to give you more understanding & compassion for others’ suffering
( 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)
GOD’S ULTIMATE GOAL FOR YOU: BE LIKE JESUS & SHARE HIS GLORY
God loves you and wants only the best for you. He knows that the very best you can be is to become like Jesus, and to share in His glory ( Romans 8:28, 29 ; 2 Cor. 3:18 ; Daniel 12:3 ; Daniel 11:35 )
November 30, 2007 at 3:55 am
Don’t you see,Amy . Your parents had to go through all this . So did you and Anita.
Your family was broken.
You are the instrument of your family’s resurection, a new beginning.
November 30, 2007 at 4:10 am
and what about your Mom?
you wrote:
I almost fell over in shock yesterday. My Mom called me and told me I really looked beautiful on my wedding day! I thanked her for being nice to Dad, and she told me she enjoyed talking to him!! She said he looked handsome in his tux and that she wished they were still married when she watched him walk me down the aisle!! I told her Dad said she still looked stunning. She said, Really?? …
This is terrible to admit, but deep down, I would love to see my Mom and Dad back together again. He’s so cute and my Mom is so pretty…they just look right together. I know, I know…sorry.
Sort out your feelings ,Amy. You have what you always wanted within your grasp.
With alot of love,
Jake
November 30, 2007 at 11:42 am
Jake, you’re right. I need to sort out my feelings. Part of me is happy, but part of me is angry. Maybe I never got over my anger.
I was upset last night and talked with my Dad. I really do love my father. He’s so warm and he never gets riled. I asked him if he loved Mom and he said he’s always loved her. I said, then, why Vicky? He said Mom and him were having a crisis in the relationship back then and they both were young and stubborn and thought the feelings were gone. He said when he saw me in my wedding dress I reminded him so much of my mother. He said I have the same expressive eyes that she has. He also laid another bomb on me. He told me Mom told him that I was the woman she always wanted to be???? I said, are you kidding? She said that? He said she really did say that. He said my Mom was always vulnerable. I said, Mom? Vulnerable? Are we talking about the same woman here? He said Mom was always insecure. He said men always went after her because of her looks and she resented it. He said Mom told him he was the only man that ever treated her like she was a person. That’s what she loved and trusted about him. Then he got all caught up in his career, making money, he was gone all the time on business, he said they were dumb with money and overspent and they squabbled over that. He said he was making a lot of money and they didn’t know how to manage it. He bought too big of a house then, brand new cars for her and him, and they were too young and foolish to see where it was headed. He said there’s lots of things I don’t know about my Mom and I was way too hard on her. He said he and Mom would like to talk to Anita and me and he was wondering if it was possible for Nick and I to fly up there over Christmas. I still haven’t told them about the baby. I almost did last night, but for some reason I want to wait. Nick told his brothers and his Dad, but I told him not to say anything to anyone else until it’s confirmed by the Dr. I’m wondering if Nate knows. Anita swears she hasn’t said a thing so I just have to believe her. I’m going to talk to Nick later about going home for Christmas. That might be a good idea. I’m very torn. I’m angry because I remeber how scared I was when Dad left. Anita used to come into my room at night and she would sleep with me and we’d cry. She and I would tell each other how scared we were and we wondered what was going to happen to us. We thought Dad and Mom didn’t love us. I would remember playing with my Dad and he didn’t play anymore. He was always mad and so was Mom. They’d be yelling and Anita and I would take off running. Crying until Dad left and the yelling stopped. Then Mom would be mean to us. Now I know she was upset, but I didn’t know it then. I thought it was all about Anita and me. We even thought that if we behaved better and did everything they told us to the fighting would stop. It was terrible.
I have to get ready for work. Oh, Nate is coming over later tonight to talk to me. Another bunch of crap I have to listen to.
I’m sorry to vent all this stuff but I don’t have anyone else other than Nick and he basically says the same things you do. He says our life is OUR life and that whatever my parents decide I need to accept. They will always be my parents and I need to just love them regardless of what’s happened in the past. He told me the only time looking back is good, is when you need to make decisions and you form better decisions by what you’ve done in the past. He told me to leave the old feelings behind and look to the future. He doesn’t like me sad, it bothers him. I’m just confused about my feelings.
Thanks for listening to me and sharing your thoughts. It helps to be able to talk about it.
Have a great day. I love ya.
November 30, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Amy:
you wrote-
I’m going to talk to Nick later about going home for Christmas. That might be a good idea. I’m very torn. I’m angry because I remeber how scared I was when Dad left. Anita used to come into my room at night and she would sleep with me and we’d cry. She and I would tell each other how scared we were and we wondered what was going to happen to us. We thought Dad and Mom didn’t love us. I would remember playing with my Dad and he didn’t play anymore. He was always mad and so was Mom. They’d be yelling and Anita and I would take off running. Crying until Dad left and the yelling stopped. Then Mom would be mean to us. Now I know she was upset, but I didn’t know it then. I thought it was all about Anita and me. We even thought that if we behaved better and did everything they told us to the fighting would stop. It was terrible.
These are the feelings both you and Anita have to present to your parents in your family meeting. You and Anita are hurting.
But Remember, your parents ,both your Mom and your Dad are hurting too. And they feel guilty for hurting both you and Anita.
Do they go to church? I would suggest that you all go to church as a family when you go up for your family meeting. Your mom and your dad both love each other and both of you girls too. I am sure of it.They will renew their vows and never split up again.
Have you been reading everything I have been posting? I said in post 191:
Your family was broken.
You are the instrument of your family’s resurection, a new beginning.
Do you realize how special you are?
Funny ,we can be hurt (and we can also hurt)
by the parent we most seek approval from. We are blinded because of pettiness and what we may believe to be their feelings about us.
Remember how Zach felt about his dad and how shocked he was when his dad told him that he (Zach )was the man he always wanted to be.
Now YOU know how your mom really feels about you. When you see your mom,throw your arms around her and tell her how much you really love her. You both do not know how to react to each other. You take the first step.
November 30, 2007 at 2:09 pm
I want you to reflect on post 190 . I want you to print off a copy and give it to your Mom and Dad. Share it with Anita and talk about the entire situation with her.
I may be crazy but you have to admit ,the chances of all this coming together like it had is so far fetched ,anybody would say “come om now this is unbelievable”.
But we know its happening right before our very eyes.
Amy, God is Love. Love never dies. Love makes miracles . Love is unfolding right in front of us .Grasp it while you can. Nurture it .Cherish it. Encourage it. It will make you strong. It will make your relationships strong. It will heal all your hurts and all your family’s hurts .
November 30, 2007 at 2:33 pm
I have to disagree with Nick about one thing.
You wrote:
He told me the only time looking back is good, is when you need to make decisions and you form better decisions by what you’ve done in the past. He told me to leave the old feelings behind and look to the future. He doesn’t like me sad, it bothers him. I’m just confused about my feelings.
If you leave the old feelings in the past, those feelings that are giving you such trouble now will resurface later in life subcontiously and affect your relationships in the future. That is the danger here. You have conflicts with the parent you are most like and subcontiously you can make the same mistakes they made in life if you arn’t aware of it.
By leaving old feelings in the past you take the chance of perpetuating hurts that may not have been intended.
You prevent the full development of loving relationships because of false preceptions.
If given the chance ,resolving the hurts of the past will let you enjoy life. You have Jesus in your life. Now is the time to renew your family life with Him .
Isn’t that Jesus’s message to us?
John 10:10 (New King James Version)
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
I hope this helps you.
Love,
Jake
November 30, 2007 at 2:52 pm
And Nate – before I forget. Remember that he doesn’t know anything about your hurts . He doesn’t know anything about Anita’s hurts.
All he knows is there is this beautiful girl falling in love with him and acting crazy… and it scares the hell out of him,big tough guy that he is.
What does HE want? That is the question you should ask him. He doesn’t know what he wants. He wants to play the field yet he wants a girl like you.
If he had a girl like you would he still want to play the field?? That ,my dear is the heart searching question he has to ask himself.
Deep down inside ,Anita is just like you. She is a good girl and she will make a wonderful wife. But she is confused. That is why she is chasing Nate. She doesn’t know how to react to him and he doesn’t know how to react to her.
They have to talk to each otherand get to know the person inside the pretty (or handsome)package.
Hope this helps.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Jake
November 30, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Jake, thanks for all the posts. You DO help me very much.
Don’t have time to respond to some things, but I just got a phone call.
Get this: My Mom and Dad are flying to Cancun for the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know what to think. I just DON’T KNOW!!!!! AND, they may be married in the eyes of the church, BUT THEY’RE NOT MARRIED!!!!
November 30, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Oh ,my dear Luigi, but they are married.
Married in their hearts,in the eyes of God and the Church.
November 30, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Oh Jake, I have such mixed feelings. This is all so weird to me. Really weird.
My Mom raised us to have high morals. She really did. I can’t believe they’re doing this.
And it’s not Cancun. It’s some place called Thousand Island. It’s in Canada or somewhere by the Great Lakes. Anita was all screwed up when she told me.
Nate’s coming over for pizza and wings tonight. Thanks for helping me so I can ask the right questions. I don’t want him to hurt my sister. I’m sick of people being hurt.
I’ll let you know what happens.
December 1, 2007 at 3:25 am
Amy
WHAT are they doing that has you so frazzled?
They were once “legally” husband and wife. They are still considered married by Church standards since the Church does not recognize divorce and they did not get an annulment.
They are not kids. They are adults.
I know you have a problem picturing them together as lovers …is that it? If it is ,you better get used to the idea because they are going to live as husband and wife and its going to be like a second honeymoon.
I really think they will be ok now that they have rediscovered each other.
Amy ,this is a good thing. Really!
Jake
December 1, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Good morning, Jake. Well, first things first. Nate came over last night and we talked. I was a little irritated at first because it just seemed like he wants the best of both worlds. He told me he wanted a marriage down the road, and maybe it even would be with Anita, but he wasn’t even thinking about it until Anita started bringing it up. He said they have some differences they needed to work on. He said Anita just assumes he will go along with whatever she wants and he doesn’t like that about her. He said when she brought up marriage Nate asked her where she would want to get married. She said probably Philly, because her friends and family are there. Nate says, I’m thinking, well, my friends and family are all here, what about them? They’re all supposed to come to Philly? Then he said she just assumes that I’m going to give up my church and turn catholic and even if I don’t our kids will be raised catholic. He said he didn’t have anything against the catholic church, but his family have been Southern Baptists for generations and he’s very active in their church and he doesn’t plan on changing churches. I asked him if he said that to Anita, and he said yes, and she said that my minister could come to the catholic church and be part of the ceremony, and she’d go to my church once in a while and I could go to hers, but the kids really needed to be grounded in something and they should be baptised catholic and go to my church once in a while. He said he didn’t like the way she treated his faith like it should take a back seat to hers and her church should be the one they’re grounded in and just visit his. I told him Anita probably didn’t know how deeply he felt about those things and he needed to level with her. I told him I’m sure she would be flexible. He said he really gets turned off by the way she just assumes he’s going to do whatever she wants. He said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings by being blunt, but he said when he’s alone with Anita she’s all over him and she comes on too strong. So, I got very bold, and I said, Nate, have you two been physical? And he said, no, not really. And I said, no, not really?? What kind of answer is that? You either HAVE or you HAVEN’T. And he said they haven’t “gone all the way.” And I said that was good. And he said, and it’s not because of her. I must’ve had a mad look on my face because he right away starts saying what a nice girl she is and he said he didn’t want to do anything like that because he doesn’t want to hurt her. He also said he thinks Anita wonders why he doesn’t go for it. I said, why do you think that? And he said just by the some of the things she says and the way she comes on to him. He said it bothers hiim because he doesn’t want to get in a relationship like that unless he knows for sure it’s with the girl he plans on marrying or at least engaged to. He said he wanted to respect her. And I said, don’t you respect her, now? And he said yes, but he said I probably wouldn’t understand but he doesn’t know how long he can hold out. He said she’s a beautiful girl, and he’s just a man like any other man. So, I said, Nate, have you ever had a relationship like that? And he said, Amy, don’t go there. And I said, why not? And he said, I’m not perfect but I don’t think there’s too many guys that have the record I do. I look at Nick, and I said Nick wasn’t a saint but he wasn’t a pig, either. Then Nick and Nate both look at each other and burst out laughing, and Nate rolls his eyes and says, OK Amy. I got pissed. Nick grabs his drink (ice tea) and leaves the room. So I look at Nate and say, what was that all about? You two have some secrets? And Nate says, no, no, no, it’s just funny the way you said that. And I said, well, it’s not funny to me. And Nate hollers to Nick to come back in and Nick yells, you’re on your own, pal. So, I said, before we go any farther, were you implying that Nick was some kind of pig? And Nate is kind of laughing and he says no. He’s not a pig. And I said, well, does he have this great record like you do? And he says I don’t know what Nick’s done. Then Nick hollers in to get off the subject about him that he was here to talk about Anita. So, I holler back, I’ll deal with you later. So, irritated, I said to Nate, just what are your intentions concerning my sister? And he said he’d like to see her when she comes down for Christmas and New Years, but he’s going to talk with her and if things don’t work out he wants to be sure he’s still a friend with us. He promised me he would not take advantage of her. So I said, I guess that’s all we can ask. And then I said, you told Nick you thought Anita would be more like me? And he said yes. And I said, what do you mean by that? And he said, I like the way you treat Nick. And I said how’s that? And he said, well, you just take care of him like he’s the main thing in your life. Nick can’t wait to come home to you. He always tells us guys the nice things you do for him, what a great cook you are, how the house is always clean and smells good and that you never bitch at him. I felt so good when he said that. And THEN he adds, and he told us you’ve never been with anyone else but HIM!!! I said, HE TOLD YOU THAT??????? Nate looks surprised and he said, well, he’s proud of it, I guess. He says, I would be. And I said, so don’t you think Anita is like that? This is what set me off, he goes, Amy, I KNOW Anita is not like that. And I said, if you’ve never done anything, I do you know that? And he says, I didn’t say I NEVER did anything, I said I NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH ANITA. NIck comes in and he looks like he’s scared or something and he says we’re getting off track on what he came over for. And I said, yeah, what are you afraid? That I might find something out about you? Then he got all defensive and then a little voice in my head said, don’t be an idiot, so I just went over to Nick and threw my arms around him and I said, I don’t care, you’re mine now and that’s all that matters. I love you. I just don’t like picturing you with anyone else. And then Nate, says, see what I mean? You’re the perfect wife. Then we just sort of laughed and it ended up that Nate was going to be straight with Anita when she comes down here. He said he really does like her alot, that she was the prettiest girl he’s ever been with they just have some kinks to work out and he promised me he would never take advantage of her. He said he loved Nick and I and he would never want the friendship to get ruined because of this. So, that’s where it ended about that.
And now my Mom and Dad. They’re having a fling in Thousand Islands I guess. Gram told me she’s never seen Mom so happy and that she’s never grouchy anymore. I said, Gram, they’re not married. You must be talking to her somehow, because she says to me, yes they are. In God’s eyes they are.
I rambled on more than I planned and it’s almost 9:30. I have to get a shower. I’m meeting my wonderful, gorgeous husband for lunch.
I love ya Jake. You always help me to put things in perspective.
December 1, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Amy
NOW do you see how really special you are?
Do you remember this?
Big Jake Says:
October 30, 2006 at 1:57 am
lovesamerica:
my post #334
I wrote:
” Make sure you wait for the right guy . You deserve the best.”
There are alot of creeps out there. I tell my daughters that all the time. More than half of all marriages end in divorce now-a-days, and that’s just counting the people who actually get married. The live togethers are lacking even the desire to give it a try.
Just don’t give up and don’t give in. Wait for the right guy. You know how I feel about you. I would be proud to have you as my daughter-in-law.
lovesamerica Says:
October 30, 2006 at 2:42 am
Big Jake, what you said got me teary. I would love to have someone like you for a father-in-law. I would love to have you for a DAD. I promise you, I AM going to wait for the right guy. My Mom and Grandma raised us to have high morals. I won’t give up and I won’t give in. You’ll probably be very surprised when I tell you this, but I really believe in marriage and I believe intimacy should be saved for marriage. I’m not loose, and like I said before, I’m not ugly and it’s not because guys haven’t tried. I just think I want to be totally and crazy in love with my husband and be exclusivly for him. I want my husband to be the only one ever. One of my friends at work told me guys don’t want girls like that anymore, that they think they’re weird. I told her I’d rather be weird than sleezy. I’m not giving anything away on a maybe. I know I’ve written some stuff on here to Zach that might give you the wrong impression, but I’m really all just talk. He doesn’t know me and he’s really just someone I THINK would be close to what I want, but if I really met him, he’d probably be different than what I imagined so I just kid around. But you, you’re special because I never really had a Dad at home, and if I did, I’d pick you. You’re just loving and neat. You’re wife and kids are lucky.
And now you have your mom and dad and Nick AND A BABY ON THE WAY TOO!!!!!
and you will always have me.
Love ,
Uncle Jake
December 1, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Jake, you’re memory is astounding. I DO remember that post, but I didn’t until you reminded me. I’m glad you think I’m special. I think you are, too.
So, how do you size up Nate? I hope things work out with him and my sister because he would be a good catch, I think. Nick told me there’s a girl in the dispatch office that likes him. But she’s only 19. Nick is 24. I asked Nick if Nate flirts with her and he said “I dunno, he talks to her.” Is she cute?? “I dunno, I guess so.” Prettier than my sister? “I dunno. She’s pretty, your sister is pretty.” Who do YOU think is prettier? “Don’t ask me this stuff because I don’t know and I don’t care.” I told him it irritated me that he talks to her and Nick says, “don’t be foolish, he has to talk to her sometimes.” Well, there’s a difference between talking and TALKING. Nick goes “only a woman would read something into it. As far as I can tell he’s just talking to her. I shouldn’t have told you she likes him. Don’t worry about it. Nate said he wasn’t going to play your sister. If only men thought like women there would be so much less confusion.
And yes, I do get grossed up thinking of my Mom and Dad as lovers. I know they’re not that old but no one thinks about their parents doing that because when you do, you gag.
Love ya.
December 2, 2007 at 6:16 am
Hi Amy,
First, I have to tell you ,your husband is priceless. He should take his act on the nightclub circuit if and when he gives up his day job!
” I asked Nick if Nate flirts with her and he said “I dunno, he talks to her.” Is she cute?? “I dunno, I guess so.” Prettier than my sister? “I dunno. She’s pretty, your sister is pretty.” Who do YOU think is prettier? “Don’t ask me this stuff because I don’t know and I don’t care.” I told him it irritated me that he talks to her and Nick says, “don’t be foolish, he has to talk to her sometimes.” Well, there’s a difference between talking and TALKING. Nick goes “only a woman would read something into it. As far as I can tell he’s just talking to her. I shouldn’t have told you she likes him. Don’t worry about it. Nate said he wasn’t going to play your sister. If only men thought like women there would be so much less confusion.”
Priceless! He plays the big dumb cop so well! Yeah ,dumb like a fox! I dunno duh!
I’m still laughing. Typical male response when no matter what you say ,you could be in trouble for your response.
December 2, 2007 at 6:54 am
Regarding Nate…
Well I haven’t answered you yet because sorry to say, I see problems here.
First ,there is the religion thing. Nate comes from a long line of Southern Baptists…
He said he didn’t have anything against the catholic church, but his family have been Southern Baptists for generations and he’s very active in their church and he doesn’t plan on changing churches.
Southern Baptists have distinct sentiments regarding the Catholic Church:
…FRC board member Albert Mohler, the president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has made several public anti-Catholic statements. During a March 22, 2000, appearance on CNN’s Larry King Live, for example, Mohler asserted, “As an evangelical, I believe the Roman church is a false church and it teaches a false gospel. I believe the pope himself holds a false and unbiblical office.”
Continuing on his anti-Catholic theme, Mohler wrote in a September 16, 2006, entry on his personal blog, “[T]he office [the pope] holds is an unbiblical institution based in a monarchial ministry that is incompatible with the New Testament’s vision of the church. Furthermore, he claims also to be a head of state — a situation that adds untold layers of additional confusion.”
I don’t get into interfaith hostilities as I believe all Christians are brothers no matter to which denomination they belong .
If Anita feels strongly that she continue with the Catholic Church, the children be baptised Catholic, and in effect Nate’s denomination takes a back seat to hers,well, I see a lot of hostility brewing in Nate’s family toward her.
I see Nate caught in the middle between his wife ,his family and his religious beliefs.
On where to get married , Nate wants Atlanta,Anita wants Philly. Roots- NEITHER WANT TO BE UPROOTED.
Amy ,you didn’t have these problems with Nick. They are issues between Nate and Anita.
December 2, 2007 at 7:10 am
and there is the issue that Nate wants a girl like you.
I’m afraid that Anita is Anita. She is not you. It is unfair to compare because there is no comparison. Especially that Nate knows you had never been with anyone other than your husband.
“. And THEN he adds, and he told us you’ve never been with anyone else but HIM!!! I said, HE TOLD YOU THAT??????? Nate looks surprised and he said, well, he’s proud of it, I guess. He says, I would be. And I said, so don’t you think Anita is like that? This is what set me off, he goes, Amy, I KNOW Anita is not like that. And I said, if you’ve never done anything, I do you know that? And he says, I didn’t say I NEVER did anything, I said I NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH ANITA.
I fear that he always will compare and resent Anita for it.
” He said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings by being blunt, but he said when he’s alone with Anita she’s all over him and she comes on too strong.
Again regarding the fact Nick told him about you not being with anyone before him…
Nate looks surprised and he said, well, he’s proud of it, I guess. He says, I would be. Does this imply that he thinks less of Anita for not being as you were when you met Nick?
December 2, 2007 at 7:18 am
Anita is a little headstrong,isn’t she?
She wants what she wants,when she wants it.
Nate sees this and it is another problem.
Amy ,I don’t want to see Anita get hurt but I feel this is where the relaltionship is headed.
Nate told you he can’t hold off forever regarding Anita’s “advances”. I’m sorry but that’s crap. He want’s to seem like the nice guy by giving you fair warning where this is headed.
Let’s say you tell Anita and she tones it down. Will Nate feel that she is teasing him now? Will Nate lose interest in her?
What he says is one thing ,how he feels is something else. Remember ,this guy has been around. Religious or not he IS a player.
December 2, 2007 at 7:34 am
regarding your parents,you wrote:
And yes, I do get grossed up thinking of my Mom and Dad as lovers. I know they’re not that old but no one thinks about their parents doing that because when you do, you gag.
Let me ask you ,do your parents go to the bathroom ? What do you think,do they or not?
You respond, “Jake! Of course they do! What the heck is the matter with you for even asking a question like that?”
I then ask, Did you picture them going to the bathroom? You respond ” JAKE! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? yuch!!!! WHY WOULD I WANT TO PICTURE THAT??!!!!
My point exactly regarding your parents as lovers. You can KNOW that they are lovers and just leave it at that. You don’t have to think about it or picture it, right?
Hope this helps!
With lots of love,
Uncle Jake
December 2, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Hi Jake! Yes, Nick is priceless. In more ways than one! I’m glad he was able to humor you. It irritates me that he just doesn’t say what he really thinks. How mad does he think I’d really get? And I’m not going to say anything to him, but every now and then I think about the laugh he and Nate had over me saying Nick wasn’t a pig. If you could’ve seen the looks on their faces before they laughed you’d know why it makes me wonder what the laugh was all about. Nate tries to cover for Nick by saying it was the way I said it, but I’m not stupid either. I know there’s things Nate could tell me about Nick, but males always protect each other that way. I’ll never know what the big laugh was about but I know it was somethin’. I’m not that naiive.
These Southern Baptists sound like their intolerant. I don’t like that. I asked Nick if he thought Nate would ever turn catholic and he said no. He asked me if Anita would ever turn S. Baptist. I told him what I really thought…which is…if she thought she would lose Nate if she didn’t, yeah, she’d be a S. Baptist. I’d bet money on it. She’d never lose Nate over religion.
ANd regarding Nate about Anita’s advances. I’ve been very personal on here and you and anyone else who reads this knows more about me than anyone I know personally. You know how I “gave myself” to Nick. I’m sure you think Nick was pretty naughty by not being a man of steel. It was wrong of both of us to indulge. I know that. But, on the other hand, Nick has told me several times how much that night meant to him and how awesome it was to come home and find me waiting for him like that. He said he’ll never forget it. Neither will I, because it was wonderful. It was more than I had ever imagined and I felt truely loved. I’m saying that because Nick was not a virgin, and now I know that Nate isn’t one either. I think once you arn’t, and you’re a man, it’s probably a lot harder to resist that temptation. Especially when you’re physically attracted to someone, (and men ARE stimulated visually first) and you have someone willing. Nate isn’t going to rape Anita. If something happens, I blame her more than him because I think it’s up to the woman to control things like that. If you don’t want a man to lose control of himself, you shouldn’t get him all hepped up and eager. Nick never would’ve laid a finger on me had I not allowed it. And I don’t think Nate’s a player. You didn’t like Nick either, and you also wrote one time that because he was in combat, he had more than his share of women. You had no respect for him at all at first. Personally, I think Nate is an attractive guy who’s looking for someone to fall in love with and marry and there are lots of woman out there looking for guys like Nate. If Anita wants to land him, she needs to wise up. She’s not the most teachable person. She thinks she knows so much about men and because I never had any real boyfriends before Mike or Nick she thinks I’don’t know what I’m talking about. I think she thinks I’m more lucky than smart. Well, we’ll see.
Yeah my parents go to the bathroom. That’s not a very good analogy. Because when you say that, you think of your parents walking to the bathroom, shutting the door and doing their business. If you had said, your parents get the shits don’t they, well, that presents a different picture. If you say my parents went away for the weekend, nothing visual, if you call them lovers, then, THEN you gag!!!! See what I mean? Lovers, the shits. Bad visuals.
I love ya!
December 3, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Good Morning Mrs. Greeneyes!
One thing has been troubling me about your last post.
You wrote:
I don’t think Nate’s a player. You didn’t like Nick either, and you also wrote one time that because he was in combat, he had more than his share of women. You had no respect for him at all at first.
Let’s straighten something out here. I do not dislike Nate. I do not dislike Nick!
I never disliked Nick! I always had respect for Nick!
I didn’t like his disregard for an established relationship just as you wouldn’t have liked his ex-girlfriend disregarding your relationship with Nick and flirting with him .
Remember this?
Big Jake Says:
May 2, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Amy :
you wrote:
I know you were always in Mike’s corner and Mike is a good man. I wish I could’ve felt about him the way everyone wanted me to.
I was in Mike’s corner only because it seemed that Nick was moving in on his relationship with you and Mike was at an unfair disadvantage. Nick backed off. YOU MADE YOUR OWN CHOICE IN TIME.
If I was in anybody’s corner from the begining,it was YOUR corner. Go back and read the posts where you were defending Mike to me as if I was taking shots at him re getting his ex pregnent and her abortion
December 3, 2007 at 3:41 pm
And how about this:
Big Jake Says:
May 27, 2007 at 7:15 am
Amy :
You wrote regarding your conversation with Nick taking Mike’s punch the first time:
He said the outcome would be entirely different if he did that again. He also told me he felt a bit guilty back then, too, because he knew I was Mike’s girl then and he shouldn’t have kissed me. I asked him why he did, and he said, I dunno…I wanted to. I liked you and I wanted to kiss you. Then he said he couldn’t resist me, that I was a temptress, and he chuckled. He also said he didn’t hold it against Mike because he would’ve done the same thing if it was the other way around. That’s basically why he let him get away with it.
That’s what I said when this was going on a couple of months ago. I like the way Nick thinks. He’s a fair minded guy, stand up guy. I like that.
Amy ,in the end the best man won. You are happily married with a baby on the way.
Love
Jake
December 3, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Oh Jake, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way you took it. All I meant was, in the beginning, it sort of struck me that you thought Nick has been around. That he’s had a lot of women. That’s all I meant. Now that you know the big picture with Mike and me and Nick you see him differently as a man, but I don’t think you look at him as a very chaste one. Nick doesn’t talk about his past and other women. He never tells me anything about stuff like that so I don’t know and it’s probably better that I don’t. He was in Iraq for way over a year, and only God knows what he did there.
I’m sorry if I offended you. I didn’t mean to.
December 3, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Amy:
No offence taken. Why are you so concerned about what Nick did BEFORE he met you? I thought you were over that.
Being a player as I call, it means someone who has alot of experience with women and
therefore has the ability to take advantage
of a situation because of it.
We have gone well past the point of the need for that kind of concern with Nick. He is a man of honor. He has honored you by making you his wife.
Nate may well be just as honorable concerning Anita. It just seems to me that
HE should be having a talk with her as to where this is going and his intentions (if he hasn’t done so already).
Love
Jake
December 4, 2007 at 3:21 am
Jake, I don’t care what Nick did. I just wonder sometimes because of the way he is. He’s one of those guys that just turns a girls head and the fact that he was single until he was 30 makes me wonder why it took so long for someone to snag him. And I DO think he’s probably been with more than a couple of women. I don’t like it, but that’s the way it is. I just wonder how they compare to me. I want to be the best. At everything. I may be an amateur, but I put my heart into loving him and I’m determined never to let him get bored with me. I’m going to love him to death. I’ll keep him too tired to stray.
Nate is going to talk to Anita when she comes down her over Christmas. She doesn’t have much money so how she plans on getting here is another thing. I think she’s asking for an airline ticket for a Christmas gift.
I tried to call Dad at work today and I guess he’s not coming until Wednesday. Tried calling Mom and no answer so must be he and Mom are really catching up. But that’s a good thing, right?
Good night. Love ya.
December 4, 2007 at 3:40 am
Amy
You bet it’s a good thing! Your parents were meant to be together just as you and Nick were meant to be together.
You will understand what I mean when you remember the magnetism you felt when you met Nick. YOU RELATED THE FEELING TO US OVER AND OVER . You became obsessed with him. You ached for him when you were away frim him. After you made your decision the first time you couldn’t get him out of your mind. When you kissed Mike ,you oretended it was Nick who was kissing you.
Well ,it’s the same thing with your parents.
Only it took them alot longer to realize it.
As for Mike and Vicky,the odd people out, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. They will find their way in life as we all have to.
Regarding Nick and why it took so long for somebody to snag him, he is an alpha male
and it took an alpha female to snag him.
You were too much woman for Mike and you will give Nick a run for his money from what you just posted.
you wrote:
I’m determined never to let him get bored with me. I’m going to love him to death. I’ll keep him too tired to stray.
Captain America will go to sleep everynight with a smile on his face if you do ,
Love,
Jake
December 4, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Jake, I’m not sure what the definition of alpha male is. You and Nick are different when it comes to how you are exclusive to Carmen. Nick wasn’t to me. I wish I would’ve been Nick’s one and only. He’s proud he’s my one and only and according to Nate, has told some of them. I would feel that way to. I guess what I’m saying is, yes, Nick is an alpha male. But you. You’re a super alpha male. Not too many like you and Carmen is very lucky.
My parents. I’m still trying to get used to this freak show. How do you NOT KNOW if you love someone or not……it’s like they’re writing their own rules. Dad has to go through a divorce with Vicky and he’ll lose some things. They’ve been married longer than Mom and him were. It’s all so stupid. Just plain stupid.
I’m not feeling good today. I haven’t had much morning sickness, but sometimes I feel nauseated. I’m anxious to tell my parents after I go to the Dr. Thursday.
Gotta go. Love ya.
December 4, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Alpha -male
A term originating from the animal kingdom, in which some species arrange individuals into a ranked order. For example in wolves, the pack order is split into two chains of command, one chain for the male, and one for the female. At the top of each chain is the ‘Alpha’ animal, and at the lowest of the chain is the ‘omega’ animal.
Thus, the position of ‘Alpha Male’ means the male in charge of all the other males in his social group.
This position can be seen being fought for, for example in school, by way of social interactions, group contests, or simply fighting to determine who is the ‘hardest’.
The position of Alpha Male is seen as one of the most socially desirable (in wolves as well as humans) as having it enables a male to make decisions about how their social group/pack is run, to exact submission and obedience from subordinates, and generally to control things and boss others around at will. The power of the alpha male is matched only by that of the alpha female, who is just as in control as the alpha male is. Though in human society, individual ego and desire for authority often exclude the possibility of a partnership at the top. Humans seem to have a remarkable tendency for aggregating ultimate authority to one (usually male) person.
Little has changed from wolves to humans in this regard; humans still fight for the dominant position, but unlike wolves (continuing the example), who challenge for dominance and alpha status nonviolently using visual, auditory and smell clues, humans often get in bloody, protracted, and vicious fights/wars to determine who is the most powerful, and hence can dominate the rest of the pack. This can be regarded as one of the great failings of humanity, the desire for dominance and control and doing things one’s own way destroying social ties to the extent fighting is necessary to enforce a social order, and that fighting actively harms, even kills, members of that social order.
——————————————————————————–
Designation for the male at the top of the male dominance hierarchy in a group of social animals. In some groups this is the only male that gets a chance to reproduce. In some groups this is the male that eats first.
Determined by displays or contests of strength, endurance, loudness, etc.
December 4, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Amy,
I met my wife while we were both kids. I was 18 she was 17. If you would have met Nick then ,it probably would have been the same thing. YOU would have been his one and only.
But he wouldn’t have been the Nick you fell in love with and married now.Nick ,the man of the world. Nick ,the combat veteran. Nick ,the silver star and 2 bronze star winner. Would you have let him go to Iraq without any resistance? Maybe he would have taken a different path in life. Maybe he would’nt have matured into the man he is today. Maybe he wouldn’t have appreciated you as he does.
We are the sum total of our experiences. Our experiences shape us into the people we are today. Experience made Nick “your Nick”.
Love
Jake
December 4, 2007 at 8:06 pm
I love my “experience made” Nick. I look up to him so much and I love the way he takes control of things. He’s got a lot of inner strength that I find very sexy as well as comforting. He has a low tolerance for what he calls “bullshit” and he isn’t afraid to call it as he sees it. I’m so proud and so lucky to have a man like him. I adore him. If I would’ve met Nick when I was 17, I would’ve been there drooling and he would’ve walked right by me. I was fat, wore glasses, no make-up, no self-confidence, and hid behind my hair. Nick would’ve thought, “poor kid. I hope she finds someone who can deal with that mess and pay attention to her.” He wouldn’t have given me the time of day.
I found out at the wedding why he got one of hs medals. One of guys in his unit had found out his wife had a baby boy. During on of their skirmishes that guy and another soldier would boxed in some rubble. There was all kinds of combat going on around them. Their commander said is was too risky for anyone to go after them, that they would all get killed. Nick couldn’t live with that. He felt there was no way he could let this guy die leaving a wife and a son, so on his own, he found his way to these guys, fought his way through, brought ammo to them, and they fought their way back to their unit. This man told me this himself. When I asked Nick he blushed and sort of blew it off. This man is from Texas, and he brought his wife, son, and another younger son to the wedding. I was so proud of Nick. That’s what I mean about him, he’s so strong, but he’s so humble. I love him so much and I feel so privledged to have his child. I know he’ll be happy with whatever we have, but I know he wants a boy. I told him I wanted to name it Nick if it’s a boy, he didn’t say no so I maybe, if it’s a girl I like Sophie, or Christina. I’ve loved that name ever since you told me your daughter was named that. It’s so pretty.
I love ya..thanks for all your love and help and for all information you post for me. You have a lot to do with the woman I am becoming.
December 4, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Sorry for all the typo’s in that last post. I was in a hurry because I have a meeting to go to.
December 5, 2007 at 1:55 am
lovesamerica:
Amy- all of your life experiences ,all the hurts,the joys ,the moments of generocity as well as selfishness in short every experience you can learn from makes you a better person. They help you develop your spirit. They help you to define yourself ,to understand yourself and in turn to express the “person” you want to be
to others.
You have done a wonderful job of developing the person you want yourself to be. I am honored to be able to help you.
Hey ,what would you have said last year if somebody told you your mom wanted to be the person you are? Or would you have believed that a handsome doctor and a war hero would fight over you? Or that the war hero would sweep you off your feet ,marry you and that you would be having his child?
Or that you would get your mom and dad back and they would fall in love again and get back together? or that your sister would look to you as her role model in matters of the heart?
December 5, 2007 at 1:59 am
Amy ,you really are having a wonderful life ! What a difference a year makes!
I am very proud of you!
Love,
Uncle Jake
December 6, 2007 at 2:05 am
Jake,
Yes, I do have a wonderful life. You got me on the road to having it. You coached me into losing weight. You encouraged me and helped me gain confidence. You helped me build the bridge back to my father. You cared for me and were a friend to me when I needed it most. You have always been here for me. You’re so much a part of my life I don’t ever want to lose you.
Thanks for everything. You will always be in my heart.
December 6, 2007 at 4:09 am
Amy,
You will never lose me. I told you time and again that you have stolen my heart. (You have qute a collection now,don’t you!)
By the way, have you spoken with your parents yet? How was their vacation?
December 8, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Amy;
Is everything ok?
Jake
December 8, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Hi, Jake. Yes, everything is okay. In fact, EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL!!! I’m definitely pregnant. The baby is due July 15!! I’m so excited. WE told everyone. My Mom and Dad are so happy!! And yes, they ARE back together. They had a great time away. They’re going to get re-married again when Dad is able. This is so weird. Everything is happening so fast. Nick told everyone Thursday at the station. He sent me flowers on Friday and called me and told me to stop by the station after work. I did. When I walked everyone was cheering and hugging me. I started to cry and Nick is having everyone over next week for a Christmas party and celebration. He has always been romantic, but Thursday night he woke me up at 2:00am, and he told me “I just wanted to tell you I love you so very, very much!” I guess I started to whimper a little bit and he was hugging me and he told me “I will take care of you and this baby the rest of my life. I’ll give you everything I can. I’ve never been this happy my whole life. I’ll die loving you!” Isn’t that awesome??? I love him so much, Jake. I’m so happy. I can’t believe all this is happeneing to me. I’ve been on the phone for hours with my Mom and Dad and they don’t even sound the same. My Mom is so sweet it’s almost hard to believe it’s really her. It’s like a dream.
I’m going shopping with some friends today. I’m going to buy some kind of first baby ornament to hang on the tree and surprise nick. I’m going to look for something with Daddy on it, too.
I’ll write more when I can.
Love you….I’m on cloud nine!!!
December 8, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Amy!!
I am so happy for you and Nick!! I am also happy for your parents and the fact that your family is being reunited. Everything IS wonderful!
I want you to do something for me as I can’t be there to do it.
Please ask Fr. Paul to offer a Mass of Thanksgiving ,thanksgiving for your happiness with Nick, for your beautiful baby on the way and for your parents reconciling and bringing the family together again.
Ask God to bless all of you ,to keep you all safe in His loving care. Ask Him to bless your parents reconciliation and that their love last a lifetime .
Pray that Jesus keep Nick safe each day for you and your family.
And all of you attend this MASS TOGETHER!
Please do this for me.
MAY YOU ALL BE BLESSED WITH HEALTH AND HAPPINESS.
Love,
Uncle Jake
December 9, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Amy, what about your Dad’s wife? I’m so happy about your baby news. I hope you will have a super fun time being PG.
December 10, 2007 at 1:13 am
Jake, I talked with my parents and told them about requesting the Thanksgivng mass. They loved the idea. They’re going to try to fly down sometime during the Christmas holiday but they don’t know for sure yet. Gram wants to come, too. She’s so excited. She was crying while I was talking to her. She wants us to move back home or she wants all of them to move down here. She’s afraid she won’t get to know the baby. My gram LOVES babies. Nick did apply for the Federal Marshall position. He said we will probably have to leave here if he’s selected. Maybe Washington D.C. which is a lot closer to Philly. The recruiter is going to get back to him because they’re looking for people to fill certain positions and they made Nick some pretty fancy offers so I don’t know what it’s all about. I do know it’s not an air marshall position, it’s something different.
Mrs. DJ. You’d have to read some previous posts to know about Vicky. Things haven’t been very good with her and my Dad and she has always resented me & my sister and she hates my Mom with a passion. She hated my Dad paying child support and would get furious any time he did anything extra for us, and he did a lot of extra. He has always taken care of my Mom’s health insurance for her because she never had a job with benefits and that also ticked Vicky off. She was mad he paid for our educations, mad he bought us both cars, and always threw in his face that her ex husband never paid a dime or had anything to do with her boys so she felt cheated. I feel bad for her. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing but Mom and Dad seem like a Mom and Dad now. I want it this way if it stays this way. My Dad told me he never really got over my mother, it’s just that the fighting got to be so bad and they couldn’t seem to stop back then. Lots of money problems, immaturity, too much too fast. I don’t know. They just couldn’t get along back then. When they saw each other at my wedding they started talking and I guess they found out they really did love and miss each other all this time. My Dad would never let Anita and I go without anything, or my Mom. Vicky really resented it. She wanted Dad to walk away from all of us and she did keep us apart for a long time. Thanks to Jake, he encouraged me to write a letter to my father and it changed things. It tore down a wall that had been built because we never talked or shared our feelings. Vicky never wanted us over there when we were young. She was snotty to me and she always commented on the the clothes we wore and that Dad bought them, NOT my mother. She used to make me feel like crap all the time, until finally I just stayed away from there. Anita was the same way. We didn’t want to go over there and get dagger looks from Vicky and have her yell at my Dad if he wanted to take us to the movies or spend money on us. Even buying us an ice cream would get him in trouble. Anyway, I know you probably think my Dad is a jerk, but he really isn’t. Not to me, anyway. He’s my Dad, and he has a wonderful, generous heart and the most charming twinkle in his eyes when he’s laughing, and I know he will always be there for me no matter how he lives his personal life. My Dad would do anything for me and Anita.
And, I found the cutest baby ornament in Hallmark. I hung it on the tree and when Nick came in I showed it to him. He didn’t have to work today so some of the guys took him out for a few drinks last night to celebrate becoming a Dad and he was feeling pretty good when Raz brought him home. I bought some mistletoe too, and I had it hung in the archway. He pulled a piece off and pinned it to his head and was chasing me around. He got me laughing so hard. He was pinning that misletoe everywhere..making me laugh until I almost peed my pants. Nick, he can be so funny.
Talk to you all soon,
Big hug for you, Uncle Jake.
December 10, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Good Morning Mrs. Greeneyes!
You wrote:
He didn’t have to work today so some of the guys took him out for a few drinks last night to celebrate becoming a Dad and he was feeling pretty good when Raz brought him home. I bought some mistletoe too, and I had it hung in the archway. He pulled a piece off and pinned it to his head and was chasing me around. He got me laughing so hard. He was pinning that misletoe everywhere..making me laugh until I almost peed my pants. Nick, he can be so funny.
Tell that big galute husband of yours “No chasing!” “No causing uncontrollable laughter!!” Not in your “delicate condition”!!!!
All kidding aside, have fun ,but please be careful!!! In the alternative,you can let him catch you without the prolonged chase.
That’s fun too.
Love
Jake
December 11, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Jake, thank you for your concern. Nick has a a great sense of humor. It’s one of the things that attracted me to him. I’m being careful, and Nick acts like I’m going to break. We’re careful. Our house isn’t big enough to do too much running. He’s a lot faster than I am anyway. He ended up pinning me against the wall so I couldn’t get away. I didn’t want to get away so it wasn’t much of a struggle for him to keep me there. He was just messing around, being playful and a little silly with the mistletoe, pinning it places that it shouldn’t be. It was funny. Like I said, I almost peed my pants.
Nick has also started talking to my stomach. He just doesn’t seem like the type of guy to do this stuff. We’ll be laying in bed or be on the couch and he’ll lean down and say, “hey buddy, how ya doin’?” Or “hang in there, buddy”. He told me buddy applies to a boy OR a girl because whatever it is they